So here's the case.
I was kinda dating this girl, for 3 days, and she sent me a text, basically it says:
Hi, you know, Im an honest and direct person, and I have to tell you I like serious and formal relationships, and lasting relationships, and the few I have been with you, I like you but I don't feel safe to start again, since I just got out of a long relationship and I don't wanna hurt you nor hurt me, and I know you deserve my honesty, thats why Im telling you, thanks for your time, and all the beautiful details, I hope youunderstand and you don't stop talking to me and I hope we can still see each other as friends aw =( "
So, the background is, he was with this guy for 5 - 6 years ... just ended a few months ago, we just started going out last week.
I then talked to her on the phone and she explained the text to me, I then asked, if there were any chances of us having anything serious, she said there is, that I have more than 50% chances of us being a couple ... we just haveto know each other more, and she wants to clear her mind, because the ex showed up last week and confused her.
She says she wouldnt go back with him, but she doesnt want to go out with me and be confused about her ex.
So I told her I still want to see her, the only difference would basically be we wouldnt kiss, but wed still be hugging and that kind of stuff (Were both 19) ...
So the thing is, she likes me, I like her, but she doesn't feel good cause of the ex. I even asked her, if he hadnt shown up last week, would we be perfect right now? And she said yes, so its all the ex's fault of showing up and telling her, that he loves her, which she knows its not true, and blah blah.
So the summary is, she wants something with me, she just needs to clear her head about the ex... I don't know how often this can be...
But I like her, I'm willing to wait.
Anyone got any tips, on making her forget him, and well, be more into "my world"...
I was thinking of not mentioning him ever, but I don't think that would help, as to talking about what she doesn't like and help her forget.
What can I do? And please don't come with the usual "move on.."
Thanks !

Don't call her, text her, or see her for an entire week. Then she'll be trying her best to see you, then lay it on her. Tell her honestly (I mean...she's being honest with you) "I don't want this ex-boyfriend drama.Period". That'll show her that you're not some emotional toy to fuck with.

_________________
You all take 'er easy. And if she's easy, take her twice.

[quote="Tom_"Maybe""]Don't call her, text her, or see her for an entire week. Then she'll be trying her best to see you, then lay it on her. Tell her honestly (I mean...she's being honest with you) "I don't want this ex-boyfriend drama.Period". That'll show her that you're not some emotional toy to fuck with.[/quote]

Thanks for the advice, but I really don't see that as the best way to approach.

Hey man, I think you're overthinking the ex-bf drama. The reason she is not committing to you is not him but you. Asking her if there is a chance that you can have a relationship and if he hadnt shown up what would things be like are very AFC. I hope you realize that doing these actions give her the control and that is why she is wavering in making a commitment to you.

Instead, try calling her a little less and seeing her a little less. Let her miss you. You can still date her, but don't bring up the topic of the relationship until she does. And ya, don't talk about the ex at all. Don't let her know that it bothers you.

Remember that you are the catch not her, so act like it.