| Oops I did it again. I really liked a girl and she really liked me and I chased off her off by smothering her. Now I really do like this girl and am wondering what I can do to salvage the relationship.
Background - she's an 8, but by Maine standards probably a 9. And she's really cool, grew up in a small town, but lived in Philly. Now laid off, broke up with her fiance and moved back to my city in Maine- Bangor. I found out later that she was hooking up with like 2-3 other guys, and I needed to respect this reality along with the fact that she broke up with her fiance 3-4 months ago and wasn't looking for anything serious. But in the end, she flaked on me, bailed on something we had planned to and hasn't apolgized for it since. Mind you- I called her almost everyday, thinking she was interested, since we had made plans, and she was always giving me really big feedback. Looking back on it now, seems pathetic, but I was unemployed and bored and really into her. I was also really excited by the possiblity of smoking and hooking up which she did. So maybe I fucked up or maybe I didn't lead enough.
Thursday I make a good impression on her playing at a friend's soccer game,I never really talked to her since I left early, but I introduced myself and she said she was impressed/laughed with my various jokes and jokes.
Saturday, we met through friends again at a small club, and I spin her around and dance with her. She was wasted, but I get a lot of comfort, (we learned we are both from Philly and I talk about how we are kindred spirits). I bounced her to a friend's afterparty, and kissed her on the way once. Inside the party I danced with her, lead her around the party, and tried to convince her to go back to her place so we could go smoke some weed. I ended up spanking her as a joke and she say's "oh.." I spank her lower and wiggle my fingers in her but and she responds "now were talking". I spin her around and kiss her, and stick my hand in her pants. She says "your so dangerous" I respond, "I know and push her against the fridge into a corner. She says " you feel that string," noting the tampon, "It's not you its me." So we didn't end up leaving together.
I waited two days for the period to pass and then texted her in the morning with some banter. She responds "You rock," we exchanged texts and we make plans to hang out. Then later she said something "came up" and she bailed. I convince her to let me babysit her 4 month nephew with her the next day. She tells me how she had a great time Saturday and she was bragging to her friends about me. Felt weird making a move at sisters house in front of a baby, so never did, but we build some comfort, not much sexual tension though - except for mentioning rape was the #1 fantasy of women and talking about how they might want to be dominated more than anything, and I got her to invite me over to play soccer at her house after she was done.
At her house she left the door opened and said "oh an intruder as I walked in." I massaged her, then made her give me a tour. In her room, I tackled her to the bed and started making love to her. I got her to have 2 orgasms and an incredible time for 1.5 hours it looked like she was on heroin. And she had complained to me about a common friend that couldn't get her off. She had to go to class. I didn't come, and wanted to get together with her after class. She said maybe, and I texted her she ended up saying it was "girl's night." I pushed but nothing.
Wednesday, I called and asked to make plans with her since we had such a good time and I liked the girl. She had homework but I agreed to help her with some things. Then she ended up going MIA even though she said she would hang after class.
Thursday, she apoligizes for not getting back to me. She says she is exhausted, but maybe well hang after class. We finally do and smoke, but she doesn't want to hook up - is there anyway to break this LMR? I even try carrying her upstairs and Sse is determined no- and I give up, frustrated...
Friday I called her and said, "Now I'm feeling like a needy little bitch, and told her that normally I wouldn't call a girl after hanging out with her the night before," and she said "screw the rules, society sucks because of the rules" I make plans to meet her for lunch, but she pushes it off and finally says, why don't I meet you there in an hour at 4. I ask if she can pick me up instead and she agrees to call me in an hour. I texted her and asked her what her schedule was and then called her at 6 and left her a vmail. I guess i was kind of passive about it since I never got pissed. Its as if she completely blew me off.
The next day, I texted and asked, "are you alive?" she didn't respond, and I finally caught up with her on facebook chat and she said "no i got roophied... but I liked the guy so it was ok" and was fucking with me. She didn't apolgize and signed off. I haven't talked to her since, despite seeing her online.
Now I know I fucked up and smoothered her. I guess the reason reaching out to her so many times did not feel AFC was b/c she seemed to enjoy my company.
But tell me what I should do. I'd still like to hook up with her. I'd even like a relationship with her. I was thinking about asking her to come live with me in NYC for a while. Although she does seem extremely flakely, and I would want an apology. So now is there anything I can do? Part of me is thinking that this girl is a flake and a complete waste of time, another part of me thinks she is cool, hot, funny, adventurous and I really like her. Why was she behaving the way she did and why did she completely blow me off even though she kept telling me how great I was? How long do I have to wait till I talk to her and should I forget the past or demand an apology/explanation?
|
CHAT