Hey everyone,

I have an amazing boyfriend but it seems I am not the only one who thinks this. He has a (supposedly straight) male friend who has been friends with him for about 5 years or so (I have only know bf about 2 years) and they are quite close.

Tjhis friend of his doenst get emotionally attached to anyone or anthing due to a bad relationshop which left him scarred. Anyway, he somehow manages to let my boyfriend in and lately they have been spending a LOT of time together.

My bf invited me a couple of times and I felt completely like a thrid wheel. His friend appears to be jealous of me or something and continuially brings up "interesting" anecdotes from past experiences shared between them. He even wanted to share a drink and dinner with my boyfriend (and cost is NOT an issue for him) He also kept saying things to him like "we like this dont we boy?" and then looked at me to see my response.

I dont know what to do. I love my man and I dont want to feel like I am the other woman in my own relationship. Also I know this friend of his bitches about me to bf trying to make him break up with me. I have only ever been nice to him and I dont know why he would try and sabotage my relationship.

Any ideas or help would be welcomed!!

Heh, I doubt he's gay. Maybe just super jealous. It can happen, if he feels like you've taken his good friend from him.

Have you talked to your bf yet? That is the first step. The second would be talking to him.

Remember... guys like it when you just come clean. We have to beat around the bush to attract women.. it's a lot easier for you. Just say what you need to say.

girls always think the worst oddest stuff when a guy doesn't pay 100 hundred percent attention to them. theyre best friends, thats the way best friends are, youre insecure.

talk to him and see how he feels, if you have a problem with it and its something he wont change than roll out.

Its not that bf isnt paying 100% attention to me- he is. But his friend is getting to me and I want to be friends with him to keep bf happy but he just refuses my every attempt at friendship.

So, I have a friend like that. We are basically epic fun guaranteed whenever we hang out. One of those guys I can call at 3AM to get me out of any jam no questions asked.

We came to an understanding recently. We are both on the edge of starting a serious relationship with some girl and will have to sacrifice the hetero life mate time. We talked about it.. actually our respective lady friends talked to us about it around the same time and we both realized we should tone it down.

Regardless, I won't sacrifice a close friendship for a girl. I think friend time will always be a priority until things get really serious. There is a reason for this. Losing a girl would be hard, but losing my best friend would suck more.

This is probabbly useless so far so I'll give you this advice:
Don't take it personally. Be fun around the two of them. Tease them about their always hanging out. If you perceive something as an insult, don't. It's probabbly just the buddy ball-busting that always happens. Join in and let yourself laugh. Be one of the guys. The friend comes with the BF for a while, try to enjoy it and try not to get jealous. If you let those feelings get ugly, it will show throw and the friend probabbly can tell. Adjust your own feelings and make sure you feel alright and happy. If you do I bet the friend will start to accept you more.

Well if he's gay and jealous of you, then it's just like having another girl after your man. Or just like one of us having another guy after our girl. It's actually a great opportunity because you can use this to demonstrate how cool you are. Firstly, you know they are not in a position of power if they feel they have to behave in this underhanded way. They do all this AFC stuff trying to put you down and win them over, but you can just kick back and get your partner's attention at key moments, do something funny or passionate together, and then kick back again like you know there is no contest with anyone else in the room - they are yours, because you're fucking awesome. You're not even trying.

If you're relaxed, they're scared, because they're wondering what power you have that means you can be so relaxed, and why you are not bothered by the interactions between them and your partner. It de-values their meaning.

Conversely, if you're trying to combat their actions, or are uncomfortable, you're sending the message that their actions are actually worrying you, and letting them know you think they actually might win someone over.

Thanks for that guys- Conker, you were especially helpful. It's not that I don't want him to have friends- I do but I want them to like me too.

There is another development to this story- My bf is always telling me how this guy is really lost sometimes and has weird ideas on different things which annoy my bf. And one thing which really annoys me about this friend is that he keeps on asking my bf for money. What type of friendship is that? My bf isnt the richest guy in the world and it seems like the friend gets the shits whenever bf doesnt cough up the money or "quality" time- if he tells the friend he is busy with me his gf the friend gets the shits and doesnt talk to him for a few days.

I dont want my bf to be in a friendship like that because i dont believe thats how they work but they have been friends for a long time and bf is pretty much the only one his mate has

Stop being passive and relaxed about this situation. You know your boyfriend's friend is annoying as hell tell your boyfriend what you think about his friend that he's annoying or you don't like him (whatever you want to say about him).

Are you afraid you boy will get mad at you and choose him over you? He won't

Do this and I guarantee he won't be hanging out with him so much.

_________________
Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

_________________
Back, starting over as of 2012.