So there is this girl ive known for a long time, we were ONLY friends for about 5 years. Over the past couple months we started having a friends with benefits situation. I told her up front I wasnt really looking for a relationship at the moment, im only 21 and i dont really want that type of responsibility. Here are my thoughts on this girl


- shes quite attractive (she was a stripper up until recently)
- we get along well, hanging out with her is fun
- she has had a very open past in regards to drugs/other guys etc etc
- I think she tries to seek attention because a lot of the time she will tell stories of her with other guys(sex,relationship,sleeping aroundtype stuff etc). Not that it matters as we are just friends, but it sort of makes me re-evaluate whether this girl would ever be good relationship type material
- As much as i dont really want to, at some degree i do care about this girl

So basically we started sleeping together, and it was fun and I (mistakenly) thought everything would just be fine like that. So the other night (i was staying with her while i was in town buying a house), she basically brought up the subject of a relationship again. I was like look i thought wed talked about this im not interested in it at the moment.

Well she all of a sudden got really pissed off and said a lot of stuff along the lines of "well if you dont take it now then your never going to get a chance with me" and eventually "im not going to be anyones second choice". So i told her I do like her but im not looking for a relationship, and im not asking her to wait for me. If thats the scenario maybe she should be someone elses first choice. She tried to just like laugh and was like ok its not a big deal but thats it.

I had to leave town the next day, and since then she has been calling/texting me nonstop. I have to go back to the area to finalize some housing stuff, and she told me i should definitely see her while shes there...

Am i being way out of line for wanting this to be a physical friendship that isnt a relationship? I suppose there is no right/wrong here, except its a bit complicated by the fact that i do actually like her, i just dont see her being very good gf material and i dont really want to settle down at the moment. I suppose another part of it is i just recently started really improving my "game" and i sort of want to see what i can do.

Advice would be appreciated and if this is the wrong forum then ill move it elsewhere.

You know what she wants.

She knows what you want.




... I don't know what you want us to say; we can't make a choice for you.

right of course, i understand. But im not really sure what i want exactly..., and i dont know how to decide either. I guess maybe im just confused and looking for advice in the wrong place.

simple; Do you other girls yes/no?

If the anwser equals yes, then you shouldnt hookup.
Have an conversation with her, feelings bla bla. You already told her what you want.... so its just confirming if she wants to continu yes/no in this way, from there you can always adjust your gameplan.

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True communication is communion―the realization of oneness, which is love! ~ Eckhart Tolle

Hey man. I understand what you are going through. She isn't able to be in a relationship the way it is. She needs more love and affection. You are wise not to get to attached to her. Although I feel like your friendship will come to an abrut halt unless you can break it off with her smoothly.

She needs you to care for her. Most strippers have a very big hole they fill with affection. Don't care for her. You need to move on. And next time don't be controlled by lust and you wont be put in this nasty situation where you either have to lie or lose a friend.

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Walk Hard