Hey guys I've been going out with this girl for 5 months and shes the first ive gone out with or dated or done anything with in over 5 years. Our relationship was going really really great. I would tease her a lot, she would tease back, we would have a lot of great times and I would take the lead most of the time physically to move forward on that level. I took her further than she ever had been with any other guy which was 3rd base. We were both really happy. there was only one problem which was that her dad wouldn't let us date so we had to keep it a secret and now she has school and work we never get to see each other much, maybe once a week or two weeks. We talked a few weeks ago and she said she didn't think she could do it anymore because of her being so busy with school work and us not being able to see each other much.

So we didnt talk for a couple days and I was going through pure hell with anxiety attacks and deep depression but I kept making my self move and do stuff productive even though I fucking hated it. Two days later she messaged me and we talked and she said how she missed me so much and how she wished I was there now. Going on she said how it just felt normal to talk to me. So we talked some on text and phone for a week then I saw her last Sunday. We took a walk and I gave her a big hug and she didn't hold back and she seemed happy to see me. I sat her down and talked to her. She admitted she still has feelings for me but didnt think they were as deep as mine but she still thinks of me more than just a friend and didn't feel the same for any other guy like me. We agreed to continue to hang out and not be dating but be able to express our feelings for each other and she said she was glad we had that talk. for the rest of that day we laughed a lot and teased each other and watched a movie and she gave me a really nice shoulder massage like she use to always do. She was really excited to see me. I was about to leave and we gave each other a big hug and she was smiling a lot like she use to always do. Since then we've been texting and teasing each other again with a lot of happy faces and tonque faces like we use to but I was suppose to see her today but she had to end up going to work with her dad for CAS hours for her IB Diploma. Ive been getting those really panicky feelings and depression again not as bad but still pretty bad.

Anyways, I cant tell you exactly how everything was and what happened, but that should be a good start. I really like this girl and want to keep her in my life, she still has feelings for me and gets excited when im around like before. Shes always playing with her hair, blushing, loosing her train of thought, playing with something in her hand, and she still likes it when I tease her. I think Im on the right track to getting her back but I just need some help from you guys to help get me through this. What can I do to get her back?

Now I know your going to instantly think this guy is such an AFC and maybe I am because this is the first girl ive felt any real feelings for in a long time and the relationship was great and were still doing pretty decent. I feel really weird and bad when I think about other girls and think about doing stuff with them even if I logically tell myself that its ok since were not dating or going out. It just makes me feel really bad. I need real help from you guys, not just people talking about growing balls and getting over it. I really appreciate it as I need as much help as I can to see things in a better way.

BTW I realized i posted this in the wrong section before. Sorry about that.

This is a serious case of one-itis. You seem to have some strong feelings for this girl, even though you are not dating her anymore. What it makes really complicated is the fact that you are still having contact with her.

Rules of thumb in this matter:

If a man is not dating (**ck*ing) a girl, there are two wise things he can do:
1. Keeping her as a good friend as female friends are usually very rewarding. The prerequisite here is that you absolutely have no romantic and sexual feelings for her.
2. Cutting her off completely, but in a polite manner, in case you do have feelings for her and are not able to get her feel the same for you

I am afraid rule #2 applies to your case.

I recommend to you that you cut her off. Before you do this, tell her that you think she is very nice and that you like her a lot but that you will not be able to see her, for at least some time (1 month or more). Tell her that you are busy with some things (work, school, hobbies etc). Than back off. Don't call, don't massage! If you do accidentally come her accross in some kind of way (in a club, school, or whatever), appear busy but be polite towards her. Don't give her the feeling that you are delibaretely avoiding her. Make it look as you really don't have opportunity to spend time with her, even if it's talking for a few minutes. In the cases you see her, keep the conversation/interaction short. However, be fun, make jokes and don't be too serious, smile a lot. If you have female friends, get sometimes together with them. It's totally OK that she gets notice of the fact that you sometimes hang with women, especially a group of women. For her, it will look you have a lot of attention of women while you are even not dating them. An attraction switch will flip in her. All of the sudden, she will get the feeling that you posses much more value than she thought you did. If you remain polite to her but don't pay much attention to her, this feeling of hers will intensify. After some time (4-8 weeks), you may approach her in a light way, suggesting to get a cup of coffee (or whatever) together. Than calibrate her state (=check her feelings and intentions) and see where it leads.

This may not sound as a perfect solution for you, because you have such feelings for her, but believe me it is the best thing for you to go with at this point.

I figured that would be part of the process is not contacting her for a while. Its so hard for me not to text her. I get lots of panic attacks and depression when I think about the situation and not talking and seeing her for a while. I was going to start to do that today and she sent me a message "Good morning sunshine " like she use to when we were going out and I completely ignored the rule and sent her a message back but at least I kept it cool and didn't act over excited like usual.

The thing about our break up was we only broke up because it being hard to see each other often and missing each other a lot and her needing to focus on school and being really stressed about it. We came off on a good note when we broke up and I told her that I agreed with her and played it cool. Then we didnt talk and she came back to me texting me 2 days later already saying how much she missed me and everything.

When we just hung out on Sunday I held her hand and gave her a big hug and her body was giving out a lot of signals of interest to do the same things like before but I didn't act on them cause I figured it was too early after breaking up to move in too fast.

I want to get over her to some extent where I don't think she is the only one but definitely a possibility but every time I think about talking to other girls and doing stuff with them I have a strong sense of guilt even though I know logically its not wrong. Are there any ways for me to get over the guilt and see that its ok to be with other girls?

agreed, don't burn bridges. Realistically its like working for a company or job you dont want, sometimes you just have to quit and walk away, but who knows when you'll need a reference, or hit rough times where you need a job (even if it is a shitty job)

moral of the story, roll out on that bitch, for every failure there's 10 more attempts for success, the problem is some people are afraid to find success anywhere else.

Women in general (even when in relationship) feel attraction towards guys surrounded by other women. If you keep this in mind, it should be enough for you to get you rid of your wussy guilt feeling.

On the other hand, women less (or do not at all) feel attraction to guys that are not surrounded by other women. Especially, they are repelled by the idea that you would chase them all the time, even if not in a real relationship with her. She may not say that (they never do), but deep inside, that's what she feels. Usually, they say something like "I am tired" or "I don't have time" or "It it's perhaps better if we are just friends, there are not many guys like you". Does this sound familiar to you?

It's simple as that, even though it may sound counterproductive to you. So, you better start having fun with many women as possible. And always keep a good mood. Women like a good mood. When things become too rational and too serious too early, a women's attraction starts going downhills.

Get some PUA material, like Mystery Method or Double Your Dating or Attraction s not a Choice. You need to step up for yourself a little bit.

Well guys just an update. I moved on haven't talked to her for a week now and I've met 2 amazing girls on okcupid and I lost my virginity to the first one I met and it was fucking awesome. We had sex for like 4 hours off and on doing all kinds of shit. This other girl turns out she lives right down the street and we're meeting in a couple of days. This one is even better looking and even crazier lol. I'm also talking to a few other girls on okcupid that I should be able to get a number close on really soon.

This is my first time to actually step up and take action and I must say it really does help a lot! My confidence has sky rocketed and I'm no where as shy around girls as I use to be.

I've read a few e-books on the Game and I knew a lot about it already and what you are suppose to do. I just never utilized it until now! Having options definitely cures oneitis!

Well guys just an update. I moved on haven't talked to her for a week now and I've met 2 amazing girls on okcupid and I lost my virginity to the first one I met and it was fucking awesome. We had sex for like 4 hours off and on doing all kinds of shit. This other girl turns out she lives right down the street and we're meeting in a couple of days. This one is even better looking and even crazier lol. I'm also talking to a few other girls on okcupid that I should be able to get a number close on really soon.

This is my first time to actually step up and take action and I must say it really does help a lot! My confidence has sky rocketed and I'm no where as shy around girls as I use to be.

I've read a few e-books on the Game and I knew a lot about it already and what you are suppose to do. I just never utilized it until now! Having options definitely cures oneitis!