Okay, so I find myself again returning to the wise words of this forum after falling victim to another geographical nightmare. To give a brief outline of the situation, I started seeing this girl towards the end of April, almost immediately after she had got out of a 1.5 year relationship. However, this seemed of little consequence as their relationship had been going that way for a considerable time and she was just glad to be rid of him.

Unfortunately, soon after I had to return to university in Nottingham. Despite this we managed to spend 4 consecutive weekends together and things we’re great. Due to the travel we spent the large majority of this time in each others company which meant things progressed quite fast. However, we were both in agreement it felt “natural”.

My exam season then rolled around which meant we chatted less and we couldn’t find any time to visit each other. In this time I noticed her slowly become more distant. Previous to this she had said that being with me made her happy and made her forget about the bad things about coming out of a relationship. I naturally assumed that us talking less had just made her think more about the bad stuff, which turned out to be correct.

I then returned home and we spent some time together with mutual friends and it seemed like nothing had changed. Despite us not hooking up it seemed relationship-y if you know what I mean. We eventually talked it out and she said she was still getting over the relationship, still likes me but is confused and scared about getting serious again so quickly.

Now to the dilemma. The book says act unconcerned, go out, have fun, hook up with other girls (obviously within reason i.e. not right in front of her) and wait for jealousy to set in, which is so far what I have been doing. Things have still been fine in person and there are still mutual feelings. However, a female mutual friend with whom she discusses this kind of stuff, and to whom I have also been talking says it time to make a decision and to talk to her.

I kind of want to side with the friend as I hate being in the dark and I just want a decision either way. However, I don’t want to force her into making any decisions or rush into things and ruin such a good thing. Anyone care to shed some light on the situation? Thanks, Josh.

I personally went through something similar to this but definitely not the same as your situation. But what worked for me is playing it by the book as you say. Give her space but still maintain contact. Do your thing and have fun, hang with your friends and with her a bit, slowly start talking with her more but by no means push it on her to make a decision. Let her see what she misses in you to help make up her mind. What worked for me is just giving time and space to get over it and it will all come together fine. Hopefully this helps a little bit. Good luck.