PUA with first gf, doesn’t like her past



Hello, I m a former PUA (26 yrs old) my whole life Ive always had a ton of game and been with a lot of girls. I partied and chased girls all through college, after college I had a good job traveling and money was good and I also used to use high end escorts on a weekly basis too in between chasing girls.

One night I used a PUA skill on this girl at a bar, hooked up with her the first night at my place. Well I called her and we went on a few dates, then told her i was seeing 3 other girls. I have this girl wrapped around my finger, she didn’t like I was dating others, so she started to see other guys (didn’t tell me about it) but I knew and confirmed once, but still liked me. I quit seeing others as work was stressful (finance job in a rough market)

Well, I am starting to realize she has had prolly a decent number of sexual partners and has a history of cheating, but this girl is head over heels for me (Im the better looking one etc) Im the best she has ever had in bed as well. Ive turned her into a total sex freak as well too.

I cannot escape the fact I am dating a girl who has had a decent amount of sexual partners in her life and I am a total hypocrite and Ive prolly had close to over 150 partners and prolly at least 50 call girls. I know I am a hypocrite but how I can get her sexual past out of my mind?

How can I get her sexual past out of my mind? She def has done the one night stand thing a few times (with me and I bet a few others) and it bothers me since I am in a relationship with her.

This is my first ever relationship (Im with her as I wasn’t going out when work got rough over the last 6 months so I just never looked elsewhere)

but how can I ger her sexual past/history out of my mind? if she knew Ive used hookers and tons of girls she would freak out..

anyways, this shit is killing me! help.

it is harder then "j to ust forget" and move on. I know Ive had a ton more partners then her. guessing she has had maybe 10-15? maybe 20? but I want this out of my head. I cannot get rid of this thought.


life was maybe better single, no worries

I have the same problem and it's been bugging me for awhile too. What I try to do is focus on the good:

She's been with many other guys and I'm the best she's had.
I'm the one who got with her and kept her unlike the other chodes.
She's in love with me now.

Also I just try not to think of it. She's told me some details which no man wants to hear so that's tough but I try to keep it out of my head.

Are you doing anything now that helps?

I wish I could do something to help, Ive been with mmf, fmf threesomes, paid for sex countless times and just a total sleeze bag, but the thought of her hooking up a few times makes me sick to my stomach.

it is my first gf so Ive never really cared where other girls have been in the past at all. but this is different since I kinda like her....

she has no idea it bothers me, but she is bothered by the fact she had to compete with girls. those other girls left me as I was traveling and just struggling with work etc and didnt show them attention.

she just stuck it out, I always nice to her but she just stuck it out and I told her she was the only one in my life at the time. so here we are.

I just need to realize she is with me and Im the best she has ever had

Another thing to think about is what type of girl you want sexually. A girl who has been with many partners obviously enjoys sex and will be more sexually open. Where if you were dating a girl who had only been with 1-2 guys she'd probably only want sex a couple times a week and wouldn't be interested in experimenting.

Another question along the same lines, would you rather know your girlfriend has had a lot of sexual partners or would you rather be in the dark? I know how many people my girlfriend has been with and sometimes I wish I didn't but I figure it's better than being naive to the situation.

good point too. I wouldnt want a total prude who isnt sexual at all. this girl just turned 24. she has had the typical college life, a few bf's a few hook ups and was single for a bit. nothing out of control. but man it fvcks with me kind of. I would guess 12-15 partners.

I will never ask how many they have been with in the future and I do not want to hear anything about their past.

Ive turned this girl into a freak though.

Also another way to think of it, she's 24 now and let's assume she started having sex at 16. That's 8 years of sexual activity and with your worst case scenario of 15 partners, that's just under 2 people a year. Barely anything!

Hope that helps.

very true!.

in the future Ill never ask.

having a gf is stressful. geez. ! lol. first time to have an actual gf and wow it takes up too much of free thinking

I know exactly the feeling you are describing. My girlfriend has only had one partner before me and even that used to bother me at times.

It's a natural feeling, and it goes hand in hand with the fact that you care about the girl. The reality though, is that we can't control or change the past. We can either accept it, and move on with our lives, or sit around and worry about it. By making this thread it looks like you've already chosen that you don't want to let this feeling eat at you; which leaves you with the other option. Accept it and move on.

When I came across this feeling, I took a few minutes and thought about it. I'd tell myself things similar to 'she's only been with 2 people a year', which made me temporarily feel better. I then decided that a man - the man that I strive to be and get closer to being every day - wouldn't let something like this take up any of his time.

I honestly think that even when we find ourselves in a relationship with valuable girls, we still have AFC moments and feelings that come from within. In fact, it is logical that this these feelings will surface more often since in LTR's its more about the deep inner game than the routines. It's about how we come about dealing with and handling these feelings that differentiates a true alpha male from an AFC, especially in relationships.

If you are in a committed relationship with her, you should be able to discuss it with her. Talk to her about your anxiety, and explain to her what's on your mind. You don't have to disclose how many partners you've been with to her. If you want to be honest, you can explain to her that you have had a pretty colorful past.

On a psychological note, however...

If you dig deep enough, I think you may be projecting your own sexuality onto hers. Is it possible that you have some remorse or leftover feelings of guilt from things you have previously done? You just might be projecting that remorse onto her sexual life even though it stems from your own.

After all, this is the first girl you have developed that unique "relationship" bond to. It might be that subconsiously, you know the effect your sexual past could have on her, so you are basically playing out the scenario in reverse- that SHE is the one with the harmful past and YOU are the injured party.

That may or may not be the case with you. But it's something for you to think about if you have a chance to do some soul-searching.

_________________
-The good can never be measured, but the great can never be controlled-

Talk from my own experience, I am now with a girl who was a virgin before I met her. I now realize how stresfull it was being with past girlfriends who had slept with other men in the past. At that time I just accepted it superficially, but I think deep down inside it always bothered me. Now that I am with my current girlfriend who has only slept with me, it is such a fresh breath of air. I never have to think of all that evil shit in her past.

Why do you like THIS girl? Because the sex is so good? I don't think that's a good basis for choosing someone as a serious life partner. Honestly, at 26 you're too young to settle down with one woman. I would say just enjoy this girl for the meantime and don't let yourself get serious with her. 150 women is good for age 26, but there are still thousands of other women out there yet to enjoy. Keep it in perspective man.

Are you guys serious. You want to have sex. So do girls, otherwise you wouldnt have had any.

If she is faithful and you love her/care or whatever you need to get past it.

Everyone does things they are not proud of, I have you all have no doubt.

Face the reality that eventually almost everyone will have sex before marrage.

And to the guy above me saying that his virgin gf is a breath of fresh air, I hope you realise that her having sex wouldnt have changed who she was, it just would have meant you didnt have to change the sheets.

Peace

I disagree man. Some girls don't give a crap about their virginity. But for some girls it is special and they really want only one love in their life. I hope that girls like that can find the right guy on their first time and that they never get played by a PUA like you or me. For me, at least, being with a girl who has only been, and will only ever want to be intimate with me, is something special.

I agree 100%.

It is special I'm not arguing that, but it comes with a much larger responsibility. You are her first taste, if you fuck up thats gunna be a bad taste and she is going to react really badly.

It just seems totally hypocritical that we all want loads of sex and expect the girls to stay chaiste.

I'm not saying I want to be with someone who has rooted a million men, I'm just saying I will never judge them on their sexual past cause I have one to and would expect that I would not be judged on it.

My last girlfriends previous b/f (it was complicated and I cbfd explaining) tried very had to convice me that she was of low value, not that she had rooted around but just that she was unstable. If I had listened to him, I would have missed 3 of the best and most fulfilling years of my life to date.

Would you risk missing out on an amazing person because of how they acted in the past? You may take it into account, but remember people change, mature and regret elements of their past. They learn from them and usually become better and stronger because of it.

Case in point. I had a girlfriend, I liked her. She claimed that she had only been with one other guy, and she was with him for 5 years. The thing was, when we had sex, every time my hand came near her neck she clinched up, would stop breathing and had this look of terror on her face. It was really fucking disturbing. She told me that her ex got off by choking her to the point of nearly making her out while he was fucking her. I tried to avoid her neck area, but sometimes even when I was stroking the side of her face my hand or arm would accidentally go near her neck and she would react terrified again. So every time I saw her react like that I was forced to imagine her ex fucking her brain out and choking her. That was some sick shit I just didn't want to think about, but there was rarely a time we would fuck when she wouldn't have that bad reaction.

Seriously, who wants to do deal with that shit?

Then there was my other girlfriend who told me that when she worked at the hospital some random dude picked her up and she casually had sex with him the next time they met. Try having that shit ringing around in your head with a girl you really love.

Fuck it man, from now on I will only be marriage minded with virgins.