How to deal with guys hitting on your chicks



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PostPosted: Sat May 09, 2009 8:42 pm 
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People say its bad to be jealous of your girlfriend, but what do you do when another guy tries to holler at her? I was out at a bar last night with my gf and her female friend. I left for a sec to talk to my friend but when I come back I see some dude sitting next to my gf trying to talk to her. I end up sitting back down next to my gf's female friend bc there is no room next to this random dude. I know that my girl loves me so I didn't do anything... and the guy eventually left after a min, but I could tell my gf was looking at me to get rid of him. What would you guys do in this situation?? Whats a good way to get rid of a guy without looking like an overprotective and really jealous boyfriend? Share your best advice!!

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PostPosted: Sat May 09, 2009 10:01 pm 
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Well, I don't think this needs any "game".

I would think a simple tap on the shoulder and a "Hey bro,, mind if I get back to my chat with my girlfriend?"".

ANyone would respect that.


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PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2009 2:50 am 
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Quote:
Well, I don't think this needs any "game".

I would think a simple tap on the shoulder and a "Hey bro,, mind if I get back to my chat with my girlfriend?"".

ANyone would respect that.
i personally wouldn't use that unless the guy is out of line or being really flirty or sexual.

nightrider,

most of the time a guy is just innocently hitting on her to test the waters and see if she's taken, or if she's into him. often girls will let a guy know she's taken, or not into him, but its not always gonna be a "go away, i have a boyfriend". in fact, i don't think you'd even want to be with a girl who does that to people. if a guy interprets your gf being nice as some kinda ioi, then you might run into trouble if he is persistent.

just think of what a secure guy would do if some guy is innocently hitting on is gf. he would NOT want to punish the guy for hitting on her. in fact, it is expected that guys will hit on your gf, cause i don't think you want to be with a girl that isn't the type that get hit on. a secure guy would just be friendly, as if the dude was talking to one of his guy friends.

when a guy hits on my gf, i'll usually introduce myself to him and be friendly. sometimes i'll introduce my gf as my gf and he'll get the point. after introducing myself and my gf, i'll keep talking to him. he'll usually back himself out of the conversation. most of the time i don't say she's my gf though, i'll just keep talking to him and vibing with him. usually my gf will then start leaning into me and kinoing me to show him that she is with me in that cute way that only girls know how to do. other times i'll very comfortably and naturally kino my gf while i'm talking to him to subtly communicate to him that i'm with her. again, he is going to get the point without being pushed away or rejected. when it's done right, it's a beautiful thing. he won't hit on her anymore caues he knows she's with you and into you, PLUS he will also now respect you.

what i've done here is communicate to him that my gf is happily with me, while at the same time, not making him feel rejected or like a fool. you'll find that guys hitting on your gf REALLY appreciate this. if the guy is cool and respectful, i'll usually introduce him to a single girl or some other people my group. before you know it, he'll be buying you drinks by the end of the night.

in this situation you are showing your gf that a) you have the instinct and ability to protect her and b) you can resolve situations in a cool and friendly way without conflict (showing social intelligence). you are also showing the guy that a) you are her bf and she is into you but also b) you are secure and aren't a dick. i do this when a guy is just innocently hitting on my gf.

if a guy steps outa line then i'll put him back into line (physically if necessary). this happens when a guy is too flirty, sexual, or persistent with her. sorry if that sounds harsh, but if you are her bf, then that's your job, no one else's.


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PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2009 9:31 am 
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By being jealous, you push her away.
Jokingly acting like the other guys wing will actually keep her with you, "he is pretty hot *GF name*, you should get his number". It is a risky strategy, but will work if you pull it off correctly.
This is exactly the same as a BF destoryer in that if you try to stop her, your girl will get defensive and start thinking "why is he trying to control me" or whatever.

The other trick, befriend the guy. After you have some connection maybe mention something like "dont you just love it when you can do *whatever your doing* with your GF, i mean, *your girls name* is being relatively good today as well". It is a subtle hint that your together and sounds like it is just conversation so the girl wont get to upset about it. Unless the guy is a total ass he wont push it IF he genuinely likes you.

Hope that helps.


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PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2009 1:33 pm 
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Here's a slight tangent to the question. Does your strategy change if it turns out that the guy has game as good as yours, recognizes that you're her boyfriend, and is trying to run a boyfriend destroyer?

I'm assuming that the advice not to behave jealously is especially important in this situation. Would your job be easier under these circumstances if your girlfriend knew a thing or two about pickup? Would it be effective to subtly hint to the challenger that you're onto his game? If your GF knows about pickup, would being NOT subtle about it work? In other words, listen for a few minutes and then interrupt and say something to her like, "I'm glad he came over. This is a great boyfriend destroyer routine he's trying to run. I've never had an opportunity to demo a routine like this for you."

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PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2009 7:34 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Well, I don't think this needs any "game".

I would think a simple tap on the shoulder and a "Hey bro,, mind if I get back to my chat with my girlfriend?"".

ANyone would respect that.
i personally wouldn't use that unless the guy is out of line or being really flirty or sexual.

nightrider,

most of the time a guy is just innocently hitting on her to test the waters and see if she's taken, or if she's into him. often girls will let a guy know she's taken, or not into him, but its not always gonna be a "go away, i have a boyfriend". in fact, i don't think you'd even want to be with a girl who does that to people. if a guy interprets your gf being nice as some kinda ioi, then you might run into trouble if he is persistent.

just think of what a secure guy would do if some guy is innocently hitting on is gf. he would NOT want to punish the guy for hitting on her. in fact, it is expected that guys will hit on your gf, cause i don't think you want to be with a girl that isn't the type that get hit on. a secure guy would just be friendly, as if the dude was talking to one of his guy friends.

when a guy hits on my gf, i'll usually introduce myself to him and be friendly. sometimes i'll introduce my gf as my gf and he'll get the point. after introducing myself and my gf, i'll keep talking to him. he'll usually back himself out of the conversation. most of the time i don't say she's my gf though, i'll just keep talking to him and vibing with him. usually my gf will then start leaning into me and kinoing me to show him that she is with me in that cute way that only girls know how to do. other times i'll very comfortably and naturally kino my gf while i'm talking to him to subtly communicate to him that i'm with her. again, he is going to get the point without being pushed away or rejected. when it's done right, it's a beautiful thing. he won't hit on her anymore caues he knows she's with you and into you, PLUS he will also now respect you.

what i've done here is communicate to him that my gf is happily with me, while at the same time, not making him feel rejected or like a fool. you'll find that guys hitting on your gf REALLY appreciate this. if the guy is cool and respectful, i'll usually introduce him to a single girl or some other people my group. before you know it, he'll be buying you drinks by the end of the night.

in this situation you are showing your gf that a) you have the instinct and ability to protect her and b) you can resolve situations in a cool and friendly way without conflict (showing social intelligence). you are also showing the guy that a) you are her bf and she is into you but also b) you are secure and aren't a dick. i do this when a guy is just innocently hitting on my gf.

if a guy steps outa line then i'll put him back into line (physically if necessary). this happens when a guy is too flirty, sexual, or persistent with her. sorry if that sounds harsh, but if you are her bf, then that's your job, no one else's.
Thanks for posting this, Sexcellent. I deal with this situation a lot, but I've always struggled to find the most secure way to handle it.


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PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 3:42 am 
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Well I stand by my technique as it has served me well a ton of times.

First off, you guys are making the assumption that politiely telling some guy to piss off is gonna come across as lame of jealous. Fact is, just the opposite is true if done correctly.

I guess I'm the alpha male type. I walk up to the guy and I got a big smile on my face and the charm is even there. But the eyes,,,, they hold contact longer, I even get into his space . Fact is, as the face is smiling, the eyes are telling a subtle differant story. They hold contact and the other person realizes that he's not going to make a new buddy today. Fact is, in a very short span of time, the guy really starts to feel uncomfortable,,, like a fish out of water.

The girl the whole time,,, really doesn't notice that much outside of the guy making an exit,,, usually on good terms, and me laying the charm on.

Look you said "girlfriend". If I'm with my GF, I got better stuff to do than meet and hang with guys who want to hit on my old lady. I'm totally cool with the concept and the game. It's just that i got stuff to do. It's not a matter of jealousy, it's a matter of practicality.

In the end, it's the vibe you set that will make you or sink you. But that's my game and I don't sink.

Anyways,, I certainly do repsect alternate views Sexellent. Cool insite by the way. But that's me.

Cheers


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PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 12:26 pm 
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Screw that psycho mumbo jumbo bullshit. Sometimes you just have to be caveman and listen to your instincts.

I was last time on this forum few months ago and though maybe something changed but seems like things are still the same. Every possible sitaution is examined like in some CSI lab, what will my gf think, what will that other guy think, what will Dr. Phill and Oprah think.

Fuck that, just behave like alpha male would today, a 50 years ago or 1000 yrs ago. Ma gf is my gf and when shes with me outside, nobody that is not part of our inner circle have no business in fluffing with her. I would just go back, tell the dude he is sitting at my place, kiss my girl and enjoy rest of the evening.

Stop being PU scientists and behave like a good old alpha man.

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PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 8:29 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Well, I don't think this needs any "game".

I would think a simple tap on the shoulder and a "Hey bro,, mind if I get back to my chat with my girlfriend?"".

ANyone would respect that.
i personally wouldn't use that unless the guy is out of line or being really flirty or sexual.

nightrider,

most of the time a guy is just innocently hitting on her to test the waters and see if she's taken, or if she's into him. often girls will let a guy know she's taken, or not into him, but its not always gonna be a "go away, i have a boyfriend". in fact, i don't think you'd even want to be with a girl who does that to people. if a guy interprets your gf being nice as some kinda ioi, then you might run into trouble if he is persistent.

just think of what a secure guy would do if some guy is innocently hitting on is gf. he would NOT want to punish the guy for hitting on her. in fact, it is expected that guys will hit on your gf, cause i don't think you want to be with a girl that isn't the type that get hit on. a secure guy would just be friendly, as if the dude was talking to one of his guy friends.

when a guy hits on my gf, i'll usually introduce myself to him and be friendly. sometimes i'll introduce my gf as my gf and he'll get the point. after introducing myself and my gf, i'll keep talking to him. he'll usually back himself out of the conversation. most of the time i don't say she's my gf though, i'll just keep talking to him and vibing with him. usually my gf will then start leaning into me and kinoing me to show him that she is with me in that cute way that only girls know how to do. other times i'll very comfortably and naturally kino my gf while i'm talking to him to subtly communicate to him that i'm with her. again, he is going to get the point without being pushed away or rejected. when it's done right, it's a beautiful thing. he won't hit on her anymore caues he knows she's with you and into you, PLUS he will also now respect you.

what i've done here is communicate to him that my gf is happily with me, while at the same time, not making him feel rejected or like a fool. you'll find that guys hitting on your gf REALLY appreciate this. if the guy is cool and respectful, i'll usually introduce him to a single girl or some other people my group. before you know it, he'll be buying you drinks by the end of the night.

in this situation you are showing your gf that a) you have the instinct and ability to protect her and b) you can resolve situations in a cool and friendly way without conflict (showing social intelligence). you are also showing the guy that a) you are her bf and she is into you but also b) you are secure and aren't a dick. i do this when a guy is just innocently hitting on my gf.

if a guy steps outa line then i'll put him back into line (physically if necessary). this happens when a guy is too flirty, sexual, or persistent with her. sorry if that sounds harsh, but if you are her bf, then that's your job, no one else's.
This is perfect.
Good strategies.


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PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2009 6:52 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Well, I don't think this needs any "game".

I would think a simple tap on the shoulder and a "Hey bro,, mind if I get back to my chat with my girlfriend?"".

ANyone would respect that.
i personally wouldn't use that unless the guy is out of line or being really flirty or sexual.

nightrider,

most of the time a guy is just innocently hitting on her to test the waters and see if she's taken, or if she's into him. often girls will let a guy know she's taken, or not into him, but its not always gonna be a "go away, i have a boyfriend". in fact, i don't think you'd even want to be with a girl who does that to people. if a guy interprets your gf being nice as some kinda ioi, then you might run into trouble if he is persistent.

just think of what a secure guy would do if some guy is innocently hitting on is gf. he would NOT want to punish the guy for hitting on her. in fact, it is expected that guys will hit on your gf, cause i don't think you want to be with a girl that isn't the type that get hit on. a secure guy would just be friendly, as if the dude was talking to one of his guy friends.

when a guy hits on my gf, i'll usually introduce myself to him and be friendly. sometimes i'll introduce my gf as my gf and he'll get the point. after introducing myself and my gf, i'll keep talking to him. he'll usually back himself out of the conversation. most of the time i don't say she's my gf though, i'll just keep talking to him and vibing with him. usually my gf will then start leaning into me and kinoing me to show him that she is with me in that cute way that only girls know how to do. other times i'll very comfortably and naturally kino my gf while i'm talking to him to subtly communicate to him that i'm with her. again, he is going to get the point without being pushed away or rejected. when it's done right, it's a beautiful thing. he won't hit on her anymore caues he knows she's with you and into you, PLUS he will also now respect you.

what i've done here is communicate to him that my gf is happily with me, while at the same time, not making him feel rejected or like a fool. you'll find that guys hitting on your gf REALLY appreciate this. if the guy is cool and respectful, i'll usually introduce him to a single girl or some other people my group. before you know it, he'll be buying you drinks by the end of the night.

in this situation you are showing your gf that a) you have the instinct and ability to protect her and b) you can resolve situations in a cool and friendly way without conflict (showing social intelligence). you are also showing the guy that a) you are her bf and she is into you but also b) you are secure and aren't a dick. i do this when a guy is just innocently hitting on my gf.

if a guy steps outa line then i'll put him back into line (physically if necessary). this happens when a guy is too flirty, sexual, or persistent with her. sorry if that sounds harsh, but if you are her bf, then that's your job, no one else's.

wayyyy big thumbs up

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PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2009 6:55 pm 
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Quote:
Screw that psycho mumbo jumbo bullshit. Sometimes you just have to be caveman and listen to your instincts.

I was last time on this forum few months ago and though maybe something changed but seems like things are still the same. Every possible sitaution is examined like in some CSI lab, what will my gf think, what will that other guy think, what will Dr. Phill and Oprah think.

Fuck that, just behave like alpha male would today, a 50 years ago or 1000 yrs ago. Ma gf is my gf and when shes with me outside, nobody that is not part of our inner circle have no business in fluffing with her. I would just go back, tell the dude he is sitting at my place, kiss my girl and enjoy rest of the evening.

Stop being PU scientists and behave like a good old alpha man.
being macho and barbaric is not alpha. To be that on guard and unaccepting of other people interacting with the girl you are involved with will eventually become overbearing.

Possessiveness is not a positive trait.

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 Post subject: Jealousy
PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2009 8:18 pm 
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Heh, I have a funny story for this one!

So I was at a party with a girl I'm kinda seeing and have gamed and there was very clearly an alpha male already there. So I walk in and just ignore the guy for the time being and I'm so alpha in my own respect that girls at the party are opening me. I run a little game on the room and since he's outside I'm now the cat's fucking meow in the party.

So this tool comes back in (he's like, 5 years younger than me so around 19 or 20) and finally opens me, which I had been planning for. We exchange casual AMOG phrases and he looks out at everyone dancing and says "Hey man, time to get out there!" Wanting to maintain my alpha status I said "Nah I'm good man, I'm waiting for the opportune moment." His response was, "The opportune moment is now dawg!" So I move in for the most alpha thing I'VE ever done.

I put my arm around his shoulder like a father (this is REALLY funny because he's like at least 5 inches taller than me) and, knowing that my girl is the hottest or second to hottest at the party, I look to him and say "You see that girl in the sexy skirt?" He says, "Yes." I say "In about, oh, 15 minutes or so, I'm gonna go take her away from any guy she is dancing with and make her mine for the night." He gives me a once over, pauses, and says "Really?" And I said "Yeah, guaranteed." He pauses again and finally says "Ok." I say "I just wanted to save you the trouble since I figured you'd try to get with her, but since you're being such a sport I'll go dance with some girl and you can take her away from me, ok?" He agrees, and the target he chooses is my friends target, so I let him know right away to AMOG this guy.

Just one way of dealing with it. Listening to Style's teleseminar today he says, on the subject of jealousy, just DON'T be. If the chick is with you, and you've gamed properly, then chances are she's going home with you for the night. Lock that shit down, and laugh when the other guys try. Do a bit of Tyler Durden behind their back.

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PostPosted: Fri May 15, 2009 5:29 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
Screw that psycho mumbo jumbo bullshit. Sometimes you just have to be caveman and listen to your instincts.

I was last time on this forum few months ago and though maybe something changed but seems like things are still the same. Every possible sitaution is examined like in some CSI lab, what will my gf think, what will that other guy think, what will Dr. Phill and Oprah think.

Fuck that, just behave like alpha male would today, a 50 years ago or 1000 yrs ago. Ma gf is my gf and when shes with me outside, nobody that is not part of our inner circle have no business in fluffing with her. I would just go back, tell the dude he is sitting at my place, kiss my girl and enjoy rest of the evening.

Stop being PU scientists and behave like a good old alpha man.
being macho and barbaric is not alpha. To be that on guard and unaccepting of other people interacting with the girl you are involved with will eventually become overbearing.

Possessiveness is not a positive trait.
Telling a guy to move so I can sit next to my gf is not barbaric. It is completely normal and instinctive thing to do. I am now married to after being 8yrs with my girl so I guess that kind of my beahviour didn`t become overbearing to her

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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2009 1:32 pm 
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The strategies based on befriending the guy are good and funny but it doesn't work on agressive jerks. For me, being with a girl and seeing somebody touches her ass or insults her is enough reason to remodel his face.


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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2009 3:54 pm 
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So long as it's not bothering her, I let it slide.

If she keeps casting looks back at you, that's probably the signal that she wants you to bail her out. If she's having fun she won't be looking at you, her attention will be focused on what she's doing.

And in my experience, if you're ever unsure, just move in and start talking and see what the situation is all about. In my experience, the worst thing you can do is be afraid of doing something and then it turns out you should have. So err on the side of caution I guess.


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