When my gf starts playing with me, it obviously turns me on, but then she stops before we get any further. She has told me before that she only really gets in the mood for sex once a week (I feel like I need more and we've only been dating for 5 months) and she sometimes likes her personal space, but I can’t help but feel let down. I don’t know why, but I seem to equate this with her not loving me as much as I love her. I know it sounds stupid, but I seem to think that she doesn’t love me as much because she doesn’t like to cuddle all the time, have sex more often and other stuff like that--> it feels like I am getting rejected. Is there something wrong with me? I really do love her, but she is just not as touchy feely or romantic as I am. I also know that she loves me, but sometimes I question it in my head. Maybe I am becoming way too AFC and needy, or I just need to better control my emotions? I know this is leading me down a slippery slope so I wanted to see if you guys had any advice?

_________________
Rise up, rise up, rise up

Its not about how you fall...its about how you pick yourself up after you've fallen

nothing in this world thats worth having comes easy

take a page from 870, and next time when thigns are getting good, before she says no, you tell HER no. even if it was the 'one time a week', take it away from her, so 1. she mirrors how you feel, and 2. her lust goes up

_________________
Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

This is the biggest load of bollocks I have heard in a long time. There is another reason why she is not wanting sex more often, you have to try and figure it out. My uneducated guess would be that you’re not turning her on in the right way or enough, providing she does not have logistical issues.
No there is nothing wrong with you, that is the most natural response to what is happening. What you are feeling is completely normal given the circumstances.
Whilst I agree you’re probably right, I think it’s worth mentioning that it’s worth taking the perspective that people have many different personalities; because have you ever seen the same girl talk to a guy she finds a drag, and a guy she is very attracted to? People who had seen either one or the other scenario would have judged her personality COMPLETELY differently. It’s all a case of changing her mood, not her mind.
Hmm. The main thing I think you have to do in the short term is to make sure you do not become needy or show neediness; because of course, this only decreases attraction.

It’s difficult to diagnose what is exactly wrong in the girl’s mind, so it’s hard to provide a solution. Possible explanations that might help you include:

-She is simply not enjoying sex enough. Many (I’m pretty sure most) girls fake orgasms and often pretend to enjoy sex more than they do in relationships. The key is to get her wet and keep her wet. Earlier I said change her mood not her mind. Another trick is to change her physiologically, and you will change her psychologically. This is much more effective than the other way. I.e. get her wet and she will do anything. You may even find she is much more ‘cuddly/touchy-feely/romantic’ than you!

-She may have past issues with sex. If you can find out her history of sex (how messed up does that sound?), then you can judge if this ‘once a week’ bull is actually something only in your relationship, or if it’s just her in general.

-It may be due to the relationship as a whole. She may not want to grow too attached, or she may want to keep you waiting more so she doesn’t become a sex object.


Here is a trick I developed for finding out the truth, if it is possible to confront her (which is always the best way – to talk about things): it’s kind of like eliciting her values.

The pattern is, generally:

1. Weasel phrase + question
2. Positively agree + change emphasis to another person + repeat stage 1, only ask the question this time by using EXACTLY the same words as she did in her answer.
3. Repeat stage 2 as necessary.

(Note: a weasel phrase is like an initial softening statement such as ‘I was wondering…’, or ‘I don’t know if you could…’ etc.)

Example:

Risen: “I was wondering why we don’t have sex very often.”

GF: “I only get horny for sex once a week.”

Risen: “Ah, that’s cool, some of my mates are like that. How come you only get horny for sex once a week?”

GF: “I don’t know…it’s just like that I guess.”

Risen: “Cool. Me, well this badboy can go at it many a time. So I’m wondering, Why is that it’s just like that, that you can only get horny for sex once a week?”

GF: (At this point if she continues to lie all she can do is repeat what either your or she said, thus she has to tell the truth. She will break somehow).

Overall, keep loving, don't be needy, and keep accepting her love. Hope this helps buddy

[/quote]

If done well, then RG's method can work very well on many personality types. On other personality types, or if done less well, it will end up feeling more like badgering and can end up resulting in negative emotions and arguments. I recommend caution in using this approach, but if you know what you're doing and you're a good smooth talker and good at reading responses, then it can be the most effective technique.

^100% agree.

It's your call if you wanna walk that tight rope. Sorry about the colour coding, I started, then I realised I really couldn't be bothered so it's half-coded haha. Good luck buddy.

There's a book that I like for occasions like this, called "The Five Love Languages." It talks about how people are each most receptive to one or two of five different expressions of love:
physical touch
gifts
words of affirmation
quality time
acts of service

Most men mistakenly assume that their strong sex drive means that they feel most loved when their partner touches them. This is not necessarily true. Physical touch covers the whole gamut of physical affection. If you enjoy sex, but would rather come home to a home-cooked meal than have a long hug by the door, you may actually prefer acts of service.

In any case, one of the important things to remember is that women are most sexual when they feel loved. You say that you love your girlfriend, but it's possible that you're not expressing it in a way to which she is most receptive. You should learn which expressions of love she most appreciates and focus on those.

_________________
Some vices miss what is right because they are deficient, others because they are excessive, in feelings or in actions, while virtue finds and chooses the mean.
Aristotle, Ethica Nichomachea

Turn the tables bro...I do it all the time! I will turn her on and then stop and she looks at me like im crazy! haha takes will power but w.e it keeps things hot and the next time we have sex it amazing! having sex to often IMO makes it become boring after a while....I like having sex but when it becomes a routine then thats not good either.