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| Author | Message |
| Risen | PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 7:18 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Addict |  | Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:41 pm Posts: 201 | | So I have been dating this girl for only 3 months now. We are both in love and we spend just about everyday together. We are both 21 and in our last year of university (i only got 2 months before I graduate!).
I guess this relationship is different for a number of reasons: it escalated quite quickly, we live 1 minute away from each other, there is less than 2 months of school left. We don't know what we are doing after we graduate so we decided to cross that bridge when we got there, although we are planning to live in the same city or at least relatively close.
This whole experience has been slighly overwhelming for me for the reasons listed above. We said "I love you" quite fast and she can be aggressive at times. She is also my first gf so I dont have any real experience in this area, which is why i am here asking for advice.
Like I said before, we spend A LOT of time together, but we still aren't sick of each other yet bc i guess its early in the relationship. So im not really complaining, but is it normal to spend everyday with someone? Its just tough for me sometimes if I just want to sleep alone at my place, or worrying that all the constant time spent together will diminish our attraction for each other more quickly. Ive talked to other couples that have dated longer and still spend a lot of time together so I dont know what to do. For example, I would feel kinda bad if I just wanted to stay in and do some reading. I just wanted to see what people who have been in previous relationships have to say about this. Thanks so much for the help and I truly appreciate it!! _________________ Rise up, rise up, rise up
Its not about how you fall...its about how you pick yourself up after you've fallen
nothing in this world thats worth having comes easy
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| DirtyDreams | PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 7:45 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Addict | Joined: Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:29 am Posts: 286 | | I don´t know a lot about relationships but I think you shouldn´t "live in her schedule", if you really need to read tell her.
If she tells for example (pretty lame example): "Come here now babe! <3" you can say "I need to focus to my studies for now, I call ya when I´m done"
Correct me if Im wrong
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| nightrider767 | PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 5:35 am | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Zealot |  | Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:07 pm Posts: 398 | | Risen good question. You're in the perfect spot to consider this. Your relationship has to be managed if you want to keep the spark. It's like when got your first Playstation. Hard to believe, but even that got old.
In your case, you want to manage your time commitment so your can keep some control over things and keep that spark going.
Things are going good,,, so just make small adjustments. Just try to keep your edge here. You should do stuff like end most phone calls. SHows you got shit to do. Start planning in some other activities. Get some pal time for yourself. Doesn't have to be at a bar. Maybe, throwing the footbal around. Whatever. If it's sounds interesting all the better.
I predict she will actually fight you over some extra personal time. But I'd say insist. A little distance between you guys will really keep things interesting. But you're gonna have to gauge things accordingly. You've got to find the correct balance or you're just gonna make problems for yourself.
This is the perfect time to be the man and take the lead here. She'll respect that.
Just some ideas.
Good luck.
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| lordloverocket | PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:41 am | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 9:57 pm Posts: 11 | | If she was any good girlfriend she should relise that it is your last year and you need time to spend on your own reading etc
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| Risen | PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:15 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Addict |  | Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:41 pm Posts: 201 | | thanks for the great advice nightrider, I am def at an important crossroads right now which will be important for my future relationship with her especially if it goes long distance since we are graduating this may. I also learned from my class that distance increases the amount of time you are infatuated with your partner. Inevitable infatuation decreases on average after 2 years, so i still have plenty of time ahead. I look forward to any more responses! Thanks _________________ Rise up, rise up, rise up
Its not about how you fall...its about how you pick yourself up after you've fallen
nothing in this world thats worth having comes easy
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| nightrider767 | PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 7:32 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Zealot |  | Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:07 pm Posts: 398 | | Even beyond infatuation. Relationships are like having a fire-pit burning in your back yard. You always have to keep after the fucker. Doesn't matter if you've been hitched for ten years with three kids, you always have to keep after it. Or it will turn to shit.
Dude, that's a cool car you have a picture of! What the heck is it? I'm looking at Vette's. Can't wait. 350Hp, 170 mph+......
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