Hey guys, so i have been dating this girl since january 1st (about 2 months)

she is going to college 3 hrs away from me and i am going to college here as well.. Things were great, she was coming to my place every weekend and even missed a few classes because she wanted to see me.. needless to say we were getting really close..

well, last weekend her friend went out to see her and decided to go out and play some mini golf.. well there were drunk military men out there and they thought it would be interesting to watch them play. so my GF best friend like one of the guys there so they start talking.. and he has a buddy who is just there so he starts trying to talk to my GF and trying to hit on her..

so i get a text message at 4am from her (3am her time) asking me if i am still awake. i didn't get it till the following morning.. and then i get a text from her 30 minutes later at 4:30 saying "ryan dont panic but i just kissed someone else. i didn't want to but i couldn't stop. please dont cry"

(a little back story on her she thinks cheating is wrong, and she despises it. she has problems with commitment and is really never in a relationship longer than 3 months.. )

ok, so she is trying to stay as far away from this guy as she can while staying close her her best friend.. and this asshole of a drunk guy thinks it is ok to grab her and start making out with her in the back seat of a the car as her friend is driving them back to their hotel. so they get back to the hotel and they guys want to go to the pool.. long story short.. more kissing and she ends up giving him a handjob and he does nothing to her.. she knew in her mind she was cheating on me and she didn't stop herself.. not once..

so we have been talking and she broke up with me on monday because she said that she "doesn't think being committed is the right things for her now" and we were talking last night and she says how much she misses me, and that she doesn't want to see me because she doesn't want to regret breaking up with me. and now she is going to see me tomorrow and might be staying the night on sunday.. she was saying to me how stupid she was for how easily she fell for a O.N.S trap, and how she regrets doing anything with him.. and she told me that everytime she is talking to a guy she thinks about me, and it feels like she is creating on me again..

My question is What should i do about her? i really care about her ALOT and i would really like to still date her, and she feels the same way towards me... but i dont want to get hurt again. any advice??

Thats a hard place to be in man.At least she told you what she did and not lie to you about it.But she did do it after all.It seams like you care about her and love her.I dont know give it time man see if she really wants to be with you.If she does then she will come back.I'm kind of in the same place as you are right now.My girl friend told me she needs her "space"yet she is going out to clubs and grinding on guys.Do I think she would cheat on me no, but dancing with other guys is crossing the line in my book.Just give it time thats what I'm doing and she is calling me all the time now..

This sucks man. Sorry to hear. One thing is apparent tho, she has commitment issues. If I were you I would just explain how much you like her but that you cant be with someone who cant be faithful. With that being said, I believe everyone deserves a second chance, so give it to her if she wants to try again. But if her cheating happens again, you gotta let her go.

The one thing you gotta give her credit for is that she was honest with you. I can only assume you guys will do the whole "make up make out" routine when you see her, as it seems you both like each other. Tell her how much you care, but that you won't be walked on again. Also, recognize these things tend to happen in long distant relationship; just the nature of the beast. So take that into account. Good luck, keep us posted.

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Swoop

I know its hard, its deffo a hard situation, I cant advise you only offer my sypathy for the position your in. Im sure you dont want it.

If it was my gf I would finish her I think, in my mind it seems like an ideal decision but I dont know whether I would or not :/

its not worth thinking about.

i offered her a second chance..

she appreciated me offering it. and she is scared to see me because she is afraid that will make her realize that she made the wrong decision.. and not to be selfish but i really want her to realize that she made the wrong choice..

but she is saying that she doesn't think that being in a relationship is what she needs right now.. and it fucking confuses the fuck out of me. i dont even know what to do..

is there a game i should play on her to make her want me back? i have never been in this situation before.

If there is one thing I know about relationships it is that without trust, you have nothing, and once someone has broken the trust you have given them, it's damn near impossible to get it back.

This is probably not the advice you want to hear, but it's what needs to be said. You are living in a dream if you think this girl--a girl you gave your heart to and who in return gave you a slap in the face-- is going to be faithful if you give her a "second chance." A precedent has been set here that you really can't ignore, and as much as I hate cliches this one is true: once a cheater, always a cheater.

Even if by some miracle of God she does somehow find the moral fortitude to be true to you from here forward, you're always going to doubt her fidelity and be curious and jealous when she is out of your sight, which will eventually give way to possessive behavior, which will eventually push her further away. You can probably guess what happens next.

Being cheated on sucks. Finding yourself abruptly single and looking when you thought you had found someone special sucks. Sometimes life in general sucks. But whether you want to admit it or not, you know the pain of none of those things compares to what you will subject yourself to if you jump back into a relationship with this girl and she abuses your trust again.

Let it go, man. Be glad she saved you the time and energy you'd have invested by letting you know what kind of person she is relatively early in the relationship, suck it up and get back out there.

Your boy,
870

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bro, i love you.. no homo..

but i love people like you that are blunt, and tell honestly tell you what you need to hear and not sugar coat anything.. my aunt is the same with me.. nothing but honest.
i really thank you for your imput and it made me realize that yes, i deserve better than her. and she doesn't deserve a nice guy like me if she wants to go around having "fun" with other guys.. but whatever it's her loss not mine.. i never did anything wrong...

i appreciate it <3

Dude that really sucks. You seem like a nice guy, let her go out in the real world and see what its like. I'm kinda going through the same situation right now. Do your self a favour, remove every vestige of her from your life, myspace, facebok,msn whatever.

My advice bro:
first: look at what you've written, but imagine it's your best friend writting it instead of you. Now, with that in mind, what advice would you give your friend (be honest, it's easy to skewer the truth, don't do it)? Would you tell him to take her back? Would you believe that his girl is really sorry, esp. knowing the facts us pua's know about women (how readily they cheat, and why cheating is hardwired into their brains?)?
I have a sneaking suspicion that your advice would be: Run bro, run like the mofoing wind. She's not going to be faithful, and your a fool to think otherwise.
As well, ask yourself this: have you ever "accidently" or were forced in any way shape or form to jack a girl off? Do you really think that a girl can be forced to do so (sure, I'm sure it COULD happen, but do you really think that was the case?) No matter what the reason: she did it. Period. No one had a gun to her head. She could of told her friend that she wanted no part of this, and called a cab (or you) to come get her. The harsh reality brother is this:
She knew exactly what she was doing.
Don't fall for the excuses. No matter how badly you may want to believe them. Say to yourself, "if I were giving this as a reason why I did something, would it honestly be the truth, or would it be me just trying to explain away something I did?"
There are MILLIONS of women out there. If you were to go your whole life walking up to women and saying "Hi." and only hi, you would not have enough time to meet them all!!!!! So the chances of her being the one is either next to nill or just nil.
Move on, her coming back is just a shit test to see if she can get away with it, and quite frankly even if it's not, as previously said, you'll always, always suspect that she was lieing to get back with you and that she will cheat at the first available opprotunity.
YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS!!!!!
They did a study where they took couples that were having marital problems, namely: where the man suspected his wife of cheating and was paranoid to the furthest extreme about finding out that she was. They interviewed them together and separately. What they found:
If a guy thought his girl was or had cheated on him, 90% of the time SHE HAD!!! So if you have that feeling in your gut, chances are, it's right.
Let her go... and move on. I guarantee she'll be back, trying to explain.
But your better than that ;^)
Hope this helped.
Tempest

To be honest with you, i can advice, just forget her. Yes, you can see her, meet her, but don't think about her, and don't put anything into something between you, why? Because from what you've said you're jealous, i'm too, and it will be hard for you to overcome the fact she did cheat on you. Remember, you can be the miracle of the world, but she will not change if she doesn't want to, and from what she've said to you, she doesn't want to change. Word like "i'm not ready for rel..blabla" is nothing more but just lack of her personality development