Over the past weeks and months i have been a student of the venusian arts and have reaped the benefits in both my social and seductive interactions. I had finally reached a point in my life where i was truly happy with myself: I had a social status that some people could only dream of attaining and i was pretty much free to choose what girl to get with on a night out. In part this is a thankyou to all those who have helped me achieve this.

Now about 6 weeks before Christmas i got a job at a high end retail store where i live. I immediately put myself out there and made some great friends and further escalated my social status. Now about 4 days before Christmas a girl returned to work at the store, having come home from university for the holiday. Being a harsh judge of appearance i even shocked myself when i could safely say that this girl was one of, if not, the most attractive girls i had ever seen. Having never been a shy person i made my intentions clear to some of my closer friends there and set about my business. Everything went according to plan and within a week she was helping me organise a small party, at which we first got with each other. We began speaking every day and getting together whenever we saw each other.

New years was approaching and she decided to spend it with me. About 10 of us from work went out and had a great time. After the night she came back to mine (as was previously planned by her) and we slept together for the first time. Things were pretty intimate at this point and we were both telling each other what a perfect start to the year we had. At this point she was texting me saying “i miss you already” and “why can i not stop thinking about you” whenever we would part ways. Unfortunately, 2 days after new year she had to return to university which we both took hard.

I managed to plan a 3 day visit to see her after about a week of being apart. We were both thrilled to see each other and the intimacy continued. Whilst i was there i asked her to be my girlfriend to which she said yes, saying she already felt like it anyway.

Everything was going great: we would speak everyday and had planned another 4 day visit for about 2 weeks time, this time with a mutual friend from work (who was closer to me but had known her much longer than i had).

Here’s where things get confusing. During the 2 weeks prior to the visit, her cousin, who she sees very regularly, added me on facebook and began intentionally trying to wind me up. Obviously i didnt let her get to me and told my then gf that i could understand her being protective but that i was going to keep conversations with her to a minimum until i had finished my January exams, wanting to keep a clear head, to which my gf agreed was best.

About 3 days before the visit i got a text from my gf which was clearly intended for one of her friends saying that she was looking for a way of getting out of our visit. I asked her if it was a bad time to which she said she was busy. She then began to get very unnecessarily hostile towards me. I tried to call her later that evening but she said she had arrived in spain, a trip she had been planning with her cousin for a week. We managed to chat on facebook though and after a messy conversation, in which it emerged she had had feelings for another guy (who was 27, me being 19 and her eighteen) for 6 months and she had accused me of forcing her into a relationship and insulting her cousin (lies, im sure intended to lessen her guilt) , we broke up.

I spoke to our mutual friend who too was shocked and upset that she had gone behind both of our backs and said that it was completely out of character for her. We later found out that the trip to spain was another lie. Her behaviour inevitably lost her a lot of respect with our work colleagues.

I received a phone call from her a few days after with her in tears saying she was pressured into lying by her cousin and never wanted to hurt me. I explained to her that she handled things in a very immature manner and would rather we had talked like adults instead of her lying. I said im not one to hold grudges though and would rather her as a friend than nothing at all but it would be a while until i could trust her.

Despite being upset initially, im not one to let things get me down and im confident i can bounce back quickly. My question is though was it all out of my hands? I started off with my usual confident CF game which got her hooked and progressed towards a more intimate/romantic game as our feelings for each other grew (whilst maintained my usual confident game just with less negs and such). Now i know she kept her true feelings bottled up but was there anything i could do to stop this? I feel as a PUA i should always be in control but without being with her in person did i have any way of knowing or preventing it?

Thanks for putting up with all that and all opinions are welcome.

These ideas of "control" and being "in charge"....they are not part of PUA. And I see them everywhere in this thread section. I have no idea where it comes from either...because it wasn't in anything I have ever read.

The closest thing is controlling your emotions, leading the frame, and being in charge of your actions. Nothing involves dominating another person or an entire situation. There are too many variables, and it certainly doesn't create a healthy mindset.

With that said, stop it. From what you just wrote, I saw nothing wrong with any of your actions. And those are the only things you should be controlling!

She seems to have been persuaded by her cousin to act a certain way; her actions seem a little unstable and this might just reflect on the type of person she is. You can't force an outcome of things, and it just happened that the direction was controlled more by family than by your doing.

My advice is if you get back with her, just always keep in the back of your mind how flaky she is; or if you don't get back with her....I have no doubt that you can find someone just as interesting and attractive.

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I guess its just that i feel i have gained a more intuitive perspective of social dynamics. I feel like i know what to say and at what point to gain the desired result. One of my concerns was that by showing my interest which was both genuine and reciprocated at the time, i relinquished an element of 'control' or rather weakened my position of 'dominance' or hightened perspective of the situation by elevating her to a level playing field. I know that for a relationship to work that equality is a necessary condition but im just having a hard time dealing with letting this opportunity 'slip through my fingers' when usually i have been able to control the outcome.

When looking at the way things turned out i guess im lucky to have avoided what would inevitably been a messier situation before i got in too deep so to say. I think the hardest thing will be to find a girl who compares to her physically despite how shallow that might sound. It will just be nice to know that there are better oportunities out there.

Hey Josh, well I took the time and read all posts. First of all, what are you looking for in a relationship? A good looking girl? Thats all? Because if thats it, my advice is that you dont get into any relationship and just ahve a good time fucking chicks. I just realized that you are too focused in your game skills to hook up good looking girls and little focused in your relationship importance. Ive been in 6 relationships so far and im 23. With every relationship you learn something and you also learn to "take your time" to choose and TEST a girl to see if she might be the one. I think you didnt tested her at all. If you can get in her pants that easy, then she will do things like the ones she did. So my advice: If you just want a good looking girl, then just sarge and fuck. If you want a good looking girl + good values + a good person, then it will take more than just sarging and being good at the game. Girls test men, men SHOULD test girls too before a relationship. Well, thats what I do...

If you want to go back to her, then you will have to be prepared for the same shit to happen again. Ive been through the same a couple of times. Once a cheater, always a cheater my friend.

Cya

I understand your point. I think this girl really was the whole package. She was amazing to be around but when i find myself thinking back i cant help but come to the conclusion that the reason im taking this so hard is because shes so incredibly attractive. I mean ive met loads of amazing people in my life so why should i be worried about losing one? Ive not however met many people who compare to her looks wise.

I also have never really given much thought to testing women. I mean aside from compliance tests and the like. I suppose its because pretty much the only situation in which i really went out to meet girls was on nights out, that is, previous to when i got this job, so it never really came up much. Obviously, i do meet girls in social contexts but im more of a 'one night' kind of person so it shocked me that i wanted a relationship with this girl. When it comes down to it i think time really wasnt on my side and things got rushed.

Anyway, as always, thanks for the help. Josh

Hey Josh,

don't sweat it with this girl. You're only 19, and you have clearly developed good PUA skills. If you can get intimate with this girl ("the most good looking girl ever seen") just think how many other girls you're going to get with. There are going to be so many happy hook ups for you, don't worry about it.

An aside: it is a biological response for her to be attracted to the 27 year old, this has nothing to do with you & you shouldn't worry about it. At some point you'll be 27 & have 18 year old kids running after you.

all in good time...,

Phil