I have been trying to define love for quite some time now.

As an AFC I thought that there was one love for each person on earth and that you were supposed to search for your one true love.

As a new PUA (or rAFC) I told myself that Love is an illusion. That love is just attraction and pairbonding with another person. A person so good that any attempt to find a better one is more trouble than it is worth. Basically, I thought that love and One-itis was the same thing.

As an experienced PUA... I still do not know what love is. I think (THINK) that you love somebody when you are ready to leave the game in order to spend your life with one person. As Style put it "To win the game is to leave the game".
Im not ready to leave the game... I need to find all the secrets, the extralives and the powerups first!

Any thoughts on this?

hey man! I too came to the forums with the same question a long long time ago. No one was actually able to help me in the way I hoped.

Love is going to be personally different for each person. Keep in mind that in a lot of situations Love does not always have to go hand in hand with leaving the community. You can Love the people you are in MLTRs with. Or you can be a single partner person and love solely them. It is all going to be up to you, your heart, and your gut.

with that said, here is a "comment" I made on an awesome persons blog. It was in reference to Love.


Once upon a time in long days past I posted an inquiry on Love [PUAForum]. I wanted to understand everyones input on it. I too am not sure what I can define it as - if at all. I will say I believe love to exist. Many people who commented disagreed. Some gave vague definitions, some said it was something society planted in our minds to boost economy, some said humans are not single partner mammals. My favorite response to the question (although this was not posted, I forget where I heard it) was stated as love being a combination of friendship, fun, sacrifice, and great sex. I want to add happiness, deep understanding, and mutual willingness - but again, that is just to satisfy my broad idea of it.

When I was in Ireland the topic came up. I was in the apartment of one of the coolest people I have met; he was making pasta and we were kicking back some drinks. We touched on a lot of topics - one was of innocence at a young age (how we got there? lol, we were talking about how so many kids suck...but anyway, it led to a civil topic that didn't involve judging) grrr, side rants can go away. Uhm, high school sweethearts. We all had one, and some of us had a couple. At that age when you are not corrupted by society and you are still in your pure form, you have yet to develop your strategies, your motivations, and your hidden secrets. You were purely based off emotion [at least this is true of my understanding]. You do a lot of things out of these emotions: cry, yell, fight, ect. When you are young, you live through your 'ID.' You stand to your passions.


Your first love is loved with your heart, because you had a heart that was free to flow.
Your future loves are loved with your mind because you had a mind that was growing.
Your latest love is loved with your body because you have a body that is available.

You eat food that clogs your arteries; your heart beats faster and the flow becomes a trickle.
You read books, watch movies, and study material; your mind becomes full and thought replaces feeling.
You grow older and get out of shape; your body becomes numb and less functional.


I think saying the word 'love' has subsided not because people are scared, but because people are unsure. Our World HAS put a serious meaning behind it - and people (the reasonable Light Sided ones) will go out of their way to avoid this single word if there is any doubt. Rightfully so. Even though many of us don't know what it is exactly, or if it exists, it still has a general meaning - a very powerful one...one that commits.

People are scared of commitment. People are scared of rejection. After getting past all that junk I listed above, if one is strong enough, willful enough, and lucky enough to actually find whatever feeling this "Love" is, they leave themselves really really open. More exposed than any onion's center. You've worked hard to find that feeling. And now, now you have to face commitment and rejection. Are you ready to commit? Are you ready to be rejected?

I think it is those two what-if's that people are scared of, not the four letter word. A word is a word, but a feeling is a reality


I believe Love does exist. Look at all the Love we see around us. The REAL Love. That is the feeling that broke through the Shit; an ultra pore cleanser of greatness....why can I still not explain it, or understand it? Hmmm, maybe because it isn't meant to be explained or understood.

So for me, even though I don't know what it is; I can't define it, nor point out the reasons for it....I am beginning to believe, now, that Love is a reality.


___end_


Love is going to be what you decide it to be, man. Don't let others tell you what it is because it is your choice. But like I said up top, just because you love someone does not mean you have to leave anything else behind. Love is an addition to your life - not a force requiring sacrifice.

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[color=red:7c51ae7520]email is a better option: thelockestar@gmail.com[/color:7c51ae7520][/size:7c51ae7520]

and thanks a lot. you have that damn song stuck in my head now.

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[color=red:7c51ae7520]email is a better option: thelockestar@gmail.com[/color:7c51ae7520][/size:7c51ae7520]

Hahaha, same here!


Anyway, on topic. I don`t consider being in the game or being a PUA as something that is a thing or a state for itself. Let me try to explain it better.

For me, the game is not only bunch of skills which helps you to get layed. It is more an art of living great, fullfilled, successful life. Of course, having beautfull girls in life of a normal guy is a great benefit and important part of your life but being a master player in game of life is way more then that. We all want to have great social interacting skills but most of new guys want to learn it only to pick up girls. Somehow, when they are not into picking up girls, they totally (probably unintentionally) shut down their socialising skills and become diggerent, silent, wierd persons.

That will not happen to someone who mastered the game. You cannot be MPUA only in procces of seduction, MPUA is somebody who is like that 24/7. He uses his skills (I wouldn`t even call it skills cause skills are something you learn, but this "skills" should become so natural that you don`t even consider them as some special skills but part of your personality).

Thats why I think that finding a "perfect love" and after that leaving the game are not things which must happen in that order. I found what I consider my love of a lifetime but I will never leave the game. I will leave (actually I already did) part of the game which consists of constantly going up and gaming lots of girls, but I will never forbidd myself to game (to the certain point) a beautifull girl on which I stumble across accidentally.


Marco

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Natural supreme

He he! The song stinks but it fit with the subject.

Thanks guys, you have inspired me! No way Im leaving the PUA lifestyle, I love it!

However, as to define love. What does love give us (speaking in terms of PU)

Reduced risk of rejection
Sex on a frequent basis without having to leave the house
Comfort
Our world conspiracy
No needyness
Social proof
Preselection

In other words, strong inner game.

And people ask themselves why they meet more people when there in a serious relationship...

Ezo

Exactly!

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Natural supreme

Now we've all agreed that love is just a word for a feeling, but how about PUA and PUA-lifestyle. I believe that in the core of the PUA-lifestyle your goal in the end is self improvement. You help yourself become a better person, socially more skilled, emotionally more aware.

These skills and improvements should become part of you, so deeply that it is not anymore a layer around you, but a part of you. At that point getting out of the game simply means that you decide not to fool around with women anymore.

That is where we get back to the word love. I believe love can be defined in many ways and there are different kinds of love. But what we are talking about here is the kind of love that we see in a good LTR. My way to look at it, is how much the person you are with means to you. At a certain point long into a relationship, I would even make a bold statement that for me, love is the point where I actually put my partners needs in front of my own. Not in a needy and I-sacrifice-it-all kinda way, but in the way, where things that are important to her, are important to you because they are important to her.

In the end, love is just a word for a feeling and feelings are different and unique to all of us and therefore hard to describe.

You said it very well!

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Natural supreme

Love is a drug. Its like an addiction. You can feel the highest of highs with love, but when you lose it... its terrible.. its one of the worst feelings... Love is just another drug, and its easy to get hooked on.

To quote Chris Rock... "If you contimplated murder, you aint been in love."


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6OaRcsfnY4[/youtube]

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

dont shoot me for this but ..... love is a addiction.....around the person to much makes u addicted to them..... just like anything to much of it is addictive....or maybe i just dont have a heart....?

No heart? I thought that was pretty sweet!

lol dude thats why I always meet more while Im in a relationship, dude that really just opened my eyes right there thanks man

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-NO REGARD MMA-

Hey Hobbit, Amen bro, I hate it even more when girls use it to stay in a bad realtionship. Especially girls I want...

I grew up in a religious household that taught me love was a verb. Love is the act of sacrificing, putting the other person’s needs before my own, it is finding things to appreciate about that person even when they act like shit, it is acting with the intention of giving that person happiness when our emotions want to smother them with a pillow.

As I’ve gotten older, I don’t know if I agree with that anymore. I think it is more than the above.

I think love is a word for something that is complex and unexplainable. Take an old couple who have been married for years and still quote on quote still love one another. What makes their love? It’s not Hollywood’s definition or what we’ve been force fed through society’s institutions. I think there’s something deeper.

Tell me your thoughts, but I believe at some point in this couple’s relationship the two individuals separately said to themselves—made an internal promise that they were going to look out for the other’s interest and well-being; find things to appreciate about the other; consistently remind themselves what characteristics about the other person made them “fall in love;” and do everything in their power to give the other person happiness and all they want in their life.

That was the first part of the promise. The second was that they would do this, even if every fiber of their body emotionally didn’t want to.

The most important thing was that this was a promise each individual made within themselves and have honored time and time again regardless of how much they didn’t want to, because emotions vacillate and are unreliable.

As I think about it, it takes Alpha Males to really love. The same type of man who is willing to sacrifice his life for his tribe, is the same man who can truly love. Vice versa, it takes a very strong woman to be able to do the same.

Not everyone can love. People who are wishy washy, don’t act with integrity, who make decisions based on emotions rather than values, they are incapable of loving. Because as soon as the emotions…the feeling…the high fades, they stop the act of love.

As I was writing this it struck me how future generations are going to look back on the writings of our community and others on the net, and look to us as the philosophers of love and sex as we look to the communities surrounding Plato and Socrates as the philosophers on things such as truth and morals. Just a random thought.

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Elite Game to destroy the competition...YouGetTheGirl.com!!!

Ok, basically, I think Ive got it now...

Love needs to be a feeling that keeps you thinking about the other person 24-7 right?

You need:
Attraction - For that special spark
Comfort - For the everyday life
Security - For making sure you made the right choice
The feeling of being alive - For boosting attraction and a general good feeling of something special

Anything else?