I'm 27 closing in on my 28th year on this earth. I'm a business owner. I have a healthy, happy relationship since 3 years back complete with an exceedingly mediocre sex life. I'm somewhat neurotic and have the emotional inner life of a fucking roller coaster. Phases of depression or exhilaration come and go and can last from weeks to months. No diagnose though.

And I'm fucking unhappy. Every day is the same. I've been boiled down to a fucking house cat and every time I walk past a beautiful woman outside I can't helt but fantasizing about dating, meeting other women, getting a better job and earning money, build a life somewhere else, getting time for myself. Pursuing the male dream. I don't want family, kids, getting married, settling down. I'm not MGTOW or any of that bullshit but I can sympathize with some of those ideas.

I'm so fucking caught up in the safety of being in a relationship. I'm stagnating, rotting away mentally. She's an amazing woman but there's just the everyday chore of getting home from work, watching TV, making food, going to bed, repeat and smile as you go along. It's beginning to feel like a movie I've already watched a hundred times.

I want out. I want a different life filled with new things, suprises and unpredictability.

I want to switch into plan B (but I don't really have one).

What are your ideas? What are your own experiences?

Please no fucking bro-talk in this thread. Keep it intelligent.

Mate, if you got a good woman - one who supports you emotionally (when needed) and is loyal, then you are a fool to leave.

Your life stagnating is your issue, and believe me I have also been going through the same with business etc. You have the comfort of having a good woman, so do what you need to do in your professional life. Unlike people like me, you do not have to worry about an unloyal woman who pretty much has in her genes to destroy the man.

I would also suggest not to totally open up and become emotional to your woman. Portray to her you need a change in career etc, be your own leader.

Btw - This is just my opinion. I am sure there are very good guys here who will give you a more sophisticated reply.

Start a Fight Club.


Seriously, you've stagnated only because you've stopped growing as a person. You're sitting still. Do something different.

The first thing I picked up on this was that you're bored with your sex life. Maybe think of ways you can spice this up with your partner. Think roleplay, take her to buy some sexy underwear, etc... Figure out what you really want from sex with her.

The second thing I noticed is that you have nothing for yourself to break your monotonous cycle. Do you have any hobbies or any hobbies you can pursue? Turning my passion into a hobby and a part time career has undoubtedly changed my life, found me new friends, something to look forward to always and a girlfriend.

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You're a business owner but at the same time you fantasize about getting a "better" job and earning money? How does that work?

Aside from that I'm not seeing any mention of a social life. Do you have friends? Do you go out on the weekends? Do you do anything for fun?
When's the last time you tried something new?

And no. New TV show does not count as new.

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Thanks for all your answers.

After a few therapy sessions, some genuine long-term thinking, emotional analysis and gut feeling, I've decided to go through with leaving this relationship. I can't seem to escape my longing for the single lifestyle and particularily meeting+fucking other girls. One fantasy transitions into the next. This is not healthy in it's current state. Not for me or her.

Whether or not I give up on my entire life to move somewhere else and start anew, that door is open but I'll wait before I pass through it. I've been living with my SO for over 3 years. We'll need to settle the practical stuff before I can think about doing anything else. What's going to happen to the apartment, we need to cancel our shared bank account etcetera.

I plan on breaking up with my gf next week. It's scary as fuck after these (happy) years.

But I think it will be worth it.

I would do it opposite order.

First you should fix/change your job and your lifestyle and see how that works out.
If your still unhappy ...then break up with your girlfriend.

Regards

You've avoided the advice to make effort in your life before breaking up. Its your choice, but it just sounds like you've made your relationship a scapegoat for your depression. Your doing THINKING instead of ACTIONS. "Long thinking" is easy, its more difficult to take action

This.

Its easy to obfuscate a bad life situation and hold another responsible. Reading your initial post I get the strong sense you're looking for a tangible answer outside of yourself. I am not sure you won't end up kicking yourself for ending the relationship. By the same token if you aren't willing to do the work then any relationship will lose its allure, in much the same fashion that an addiction wanes and the user looks to something else to get another high/free him from suffering.

Man if I was you I would book a trip overseas on my own and just get out there.

I recently did a trip on my own to Nepal and stayed in hostels in the middle of nowhere. Cheap as

Brilliant to have that space away from everything and really think about how you want to ride out this bad boy.

Lots of single gals out there too

What a lovely ending there.

Theres no need to get deep about this. You know what you want, execute it. It's as simple as making a phone call, asked her to meet you where-ever, and breaking the news to her. Do it face to face too if you can. The experience will teach you something. And just understand that when you finally do walk away you will experience a whiplash of regret. Maybe not instantly, but give it a few weeks to a few months and you'll naturally feel like you made a mistake, because what you'll realize if you haven't already is that the grass isn't greener. That expression has been around for a long time for a reason.

So, you'll want her back, but because you've been made aware that you will, that should give you the awareness to be stronger than the emotion. It's just a feeling. Just like anger is a feeling. Now just because anger tells you to punch someone doesn't mean you should, no more than love telling you that you should be with someone means that you should be with them. Plenty of women are in abusive relationships all in the name of "love". Use emotions for guides, not for directions.

Sounds to me like you need to spend sometime with yourself. Cut back on sex, leave women alone for a bit and figure out what it is that you want. Take up a challenge, do the 30 day cold shower challenge, 90 day No Fap challenge, 100 push ups a day challenge. Anything to strengthen your will power as you begin making your transformation.

There will always be arguments for both sides. Reasons to stay and reasons to go, but you have to get off the fence and make a choice.

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I did it. I broke up with my girlfriend two days ago.

I sat down with her by the kitchen table and she freaked out. She berated med and started planning on moving out and just say fuck to everything. How she's invested in our life and given me everything for nothing. She responded with complete anger.

And I didn't argue, I only listened and agreed where I could agree. After a few hours of answering her questions, crying, talking, I picked up my stuff in a bag and left. Been sleeping away from home for two nights now. She's been trying to contact me but I've been adamant that we stay away from each other for at least a couple of days to just think and reflect on what's happened.

As expected I feel like utter shit. On some level I still love her, of course. I have to keep telling myself why I've made this decision. But it's fucking hard. We have so many great memories and an entire life together, a beautiful home which we've crafted side by side. And so on.

This is one of the shittiest and hardest things I've ever done. Remorse and anxiety is overwhelming. I've been distracting my mind with youtube, porn and talking to friends ever since monday just to cope.

Fuck

You find all of that WITHIN you, not from anyone else, or any location.

Your post, OP, reads to me like a guy who was afraid to speak his needs in a relationship, and you're seeking validation from outside of yourself (which never works).

If I was bored with the sex, but still loved my girlfriend, I'd start talking to my girl about threesomes, swinging, or an open relationship. I wouldn't just end it. I'd put in a little effort, first.

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This is the easy part, because she's still calling. Wait until the calls stop. That's when you'll see what you're really made of.

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Hang in there buddy. Life can be tough at times.

Try and get some exercise in. I find an hr of straight cardio helps ease any tension I may be feeling.

Good luck.