Me and my girl text A LOT. I try to keep things light hearted. Serious convos in person. However, I noticed lately that she's been hanging out with her friends more, and not as much with me. It's completely fine if she wants to hangout with her friends, but I'm starting to think that over-texting may be a reason why I'm not as high as a priority to hangout. I feel like in order for her to want to hangout with me more, like she used to, I have to be less available via phone. I.e., give her an opportunity to miss me so she wants to see me. Am I right?

It's weird cuz she'll text me ALLLLL day, even when she's WITH HER FRIENDS! But maybe this is killing the attraction and makes me less of a priority.

Also, we seem to hangout whenever SHE'S free. It's like "I'm free this time wanna come?" and 85% of the time I say yes. I think she's gotten accustomed to having me come over whenever SHE'S available. However, whenever I'M free she definitely DOES NOT come 85% of the time. I think I need to become more busy, and if I can't start doing that right away, I need to at least ACT more busy while trying to become more busy.

EDIT: I know if I start texting her less she will ask me why I'm being distant. Do I just be honest with her and say I feel that I'm not as high of a priority as I used to be? Or should I just tell her that I'm meeting up with my friends, i.e., some excuse that says I'm busy, as she does to me?

Here's an example of her wanting to clear some things up in person. So I reply..

Me: When do you want to clear things up?
Her: Yeah in person.
Me: When
Her: Idk I'll let you know
Me: Ok lemme know ahead of time
Her: Yeah maybe tomorrow

My ass wants to say "I'm gonna be busy tomorrow but how about Friday evening?". But IDK if this is the right thing to do?

I'll prob write more later but man you gotta stop ignoring advice and looking for a single cause of your relationship issues. What's crazy is if you actually had respect for yourself and take the advice to hold the chick yo some standard you'd be in a better place.

Well we talked in person man. She apologized for the way she acted, and I explained to her clearly that cussing at me and especially THREATENING me is not okay. I apologized for being inconsiderate of her reputation. I also found out I was wrong about the social media thing. She didn't follow him last week. Long story short we talked and things have cooled off now.

When your girl randomly starts hanging out with friends more than you, thats usually a sign that the relationship is not going to continue.

However, its perfectly ok to confidently tell your girl that she needs to start making more time to see you. Put her on notice. Your happiness is valuable and if she wants to keep you happy, keeping you inspired to want to continue building on the relationship she should make a bit more effort. Sounds like you're in passenger seat bitch mode though. Not really the position to pull this off. Things have gotten too far without being checked.

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What do you mean you explained to her? And then what? If all police did was EXPLAIN to you that running a red light is not ok. Would you or would you not continue to run the red lights? I started respecting the traffic lights a lot more when they started costing my pockets.

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@Eddie well I walked and she seemed genuine about fixing her side as did I. If she does it again I'll let her go for good.

We see each other about 3x a week on average id say. These couple weeks has been a rough one with the fighting and everything. She just finished her last final yesterday and last time I saw her was Mon. When there's less fighting and more fun she's more eager to see me. A LOT more.

Since we just cooled things off maybe I need to give it time and let things naturally become fun again and odds are she'll wanna see me more again. I'm not quite sure if bringing up the I wanna see you more convo is appropriate as of right now?

Flex, you have a bunch of "reasons" for your relationship issues

Her age
Your jealousy
Overtexting
she's afraid for her reputation

Now, the issues

Lack of sex
Doesnt make time for you
Disrespectful (cussing out, threats
Hangs with guys you have problems with
Ultimatums
You guys went from a relationship to "dating"

THIS week, youve discovered its OVERTEXTING may be the issue. Next something will come up. You can read your stories and even though you try to hide things, sex has dropped, the relationship ended, she talks to you any sorta way, you NEED this girl to be your gf and she doesnt. She doesnt respect you, she isnt afraid of you leaving, she's not interested in seeing you. And a simple point is, if a girl downgrades your RELATIONSHIP to DATING... bet your ass she's exploring options. If a girl is telling you, I dont want to be your gf, but trust me we're exclusive....she's bullshitting you. I'm just saying its a dysfunctional "relationship." Yes, you need a life beyond your "gf" but problem is you're so needy for this chick, if you seek things outside to keep busy, its just a facade. You go through daily arguments, disrespect, her threats to hit you and break up with you...you're still there. You're not leaving even if she hit you. If she did, you'd be like "she's young...I'll give her ONE more chance." No man who was able to leave would be looking for a million reasons why the relationship isnt working. And all your problems prob stem from this; what chick wants a man who isnt able to walk away, why should she respect a man like that, or what to fuck him?

Nah sex hasn't dropped b/c I made that clear in the beginning I don't put up with chicks that hold out.

BIG UPDATE!!!

I JUST FUCKING WALKED ON HER!!! We met up and she said some bullshit! Basically we agreed on her deleting that dude from all social media, snap, phone, etc RIGHT on winterbreak, a month ago.. and she was telling me "Look i don't even talk to him anymore. I don't have his number. blablabla but I'm NOT going to delete him from social media cuz i don't want him to talk bad about me. He knows a lot of middle easterns and my reputation is at stake, blablabla". FUCK NO!! We already agreed that you would bitch and now you're telling me this?!!?!? IDGAF what your excuse is.

I also told her from a logical perspective that if she was really worried abou her reputation she'd be more concerned about me pissing me off (i.e., i have pics of us together) instead of some guy that you told were dating.

She flipped it back on me saying I'm being manipulative. I said no, as bad as that sounds, I'm saying it from a LOGICAL standpoint.

Anyways. So I kept my calm while she was telling me in a bitchy way how she's going to do what's best for her and I told her straight up "I can't talk/be with someone who lies to me. You gave me your word and now you're not following through"

She became dramatic and started crying like "Look I'll delete him right now. But I don't want to be with you. Just please give me your word that you won't ruin my reputation. I've been wanting to cut it off completely for 2 months but I'm scared you're going to ruin my rep". (Oh please bitch. If you wanted to break it off permanently2 months ago you would have. And you damn sure wouldn't several times talk about how our marriage is goign to be, and send me engagement ring pic LAST FUCKING NIGHT) I gave her a wtf look? Like why are you worrying about the future and being dramatic? She kept sticking to it "Just don't ruin my rep look i deleted him and i don't want to be with you" blablabla. I told her straight up that she's being dramatic, and I never gave her a straight answer as to whether I'll ruin her reputation or not. Fuck that! I didn't say I would, but I didn't say I wouldn't. I just didn't answer her question. You put me through hell these last 2 months bitch of your pettiness, so SUCK my dick on pettiness. Karmas a bitch.

Anyway then she called me about 10 min after I parted saying "Look I just wanted to let you know that I deleted yo ufrom everything" (LOL) I told her straight up "w/e... what do you want me to say" and she said "I just want to be clear and have a clean break up blablabla" "ARe you still on the highway. I have your stuff. I want you to go grab my stuff from your house. Just please don't ruin my reputation"... My bitch self would've went along with it, but FUCK THAT! I got my balls back. I told her straight up bitch that I'm busy now and have plans. We can reschedule. She was telling me what to do like "Drop it off here then" fuck that! I'll do w/e makes me happy, IDC anymore. Then I also told her I want my shit back blablbal. She was like "Well lets meet now" I told her I couldn't. And then she threatened and said "Well I'm not going to be here tomorrow so you won't see me for a month" and I said "That's fine. I gotta run ttyl" and hung up on the cunt. Note I said I was busy and almost hang up on her earlier but she was like "No wait" and kept trying to talk about meeting up, blablbla.

EDIT: Her attitude in person was BITCHINESS AND IMA DO W/E IS BEST FOR ME. And then after I walked and she called me it was completely different. Wow, you stupid cunt! If only you were like that always.. But whatever, I ain't fucking reaching out to her anymore. And she told me on the phone "Just please stop talking to me blablabla" being dramatic and shit. I'm thinking wtf bitch? You know damn well I'm not going to continue talking to your dumb ass.

Umm...that IS manipulative.

Lol, you are going to go for revenge

Idk we will see. She's been petty AF so hard for 2 MONTHS! Now if I wanna be a little petty I will. Fuck it. My happiness is first, not yours anymore bitch.

Just came back from shopping and everyone is telling me how much fun I'm having. "You're a breath of fresh air". I'm feeling really happy and good right now. Fuck it! My happiness over any bitches any day!

Flex, you're being stupid.
That it exactly what happens when a relationship is about to end. She would definitely have talked about marriage and engagement ring shit because that's what people do when they're about to snap. She wasn't trying to convince you of your happiness together, she was trying to convince herself.
I get that you're angry at her. I really do. But all this is your fault. So fucking stop blaming her. The way she acts, the things she did, her behavior, all of it, it's your fault. Because you allowed it. You refused to walk. You saw it coming a mile away and still deluded yourself that it'll work out in the end, or that she's special.
She only treated you the way you allowed her to treat you by decided to be in a relationship with an immature woman.
And don't get me wrong, you have your own maturity issues to work on. And jealousy. And neediness.
How is ruining her rep going to bolster your happiness?
That's not just petty. It's straight up disgusting and insulting to your manhood. You want to be better than that.

Have some sense of responsibility and address your own issues. If you keep blaming the failure of this relationship on her, you will learn nothing of it. And you'll make the same mistakes with the next girl.

Be smart.

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I don't want to say i told you so.. but i told you so.

However as much as I agree with some of whats said..

I do feel like he made the right move overall; not so much for this particular situation, but for the situation in its entirety.

You were far too dramatic though bro.. Never let them see that over reactive side. Always stay cool, maintain a slight smirk, one that says " I know something you don't. " Don't question them, don't pull the " but you said.. " if you're going to walk you walk in a cool suave way; leave a strong non-reactive, unconcerned impression. Cursing, yelling, and threatening only makes them feel justified.

I do feel like theres a whiplash coming though so just be aware of that. You're far too intense for the opposite " what if i made the wrong decision..." regretful like emotion to not surface. Ignore it, ignore it, and ignore. Stand by your decision like a man. Theres always going to be another man.. If i've learned anything from this walk of life i've learned that.

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Nonono I am dramatic on these FORUMS! I didn't cuss or raise my voice AT ALL on her. I talked in a very nice tone #Sales101

@RC my happiness over hers and anyone else's. I'll do whatever the fuck I want. Yeah I did allow it it was both of our faults.

I agree with all of this. And stop referring to women as "bitches" and "cunts". It makes you look like a fool.

Also, work on the fundamental rules of being emotionally centered (seems a huge issue for you), fun, bedroom skills, fitness and leadership.


The picture is starting to clear. You probably forced a lot of these "clear up" talks because of your insecurities (being emotionally uncentered). These talks, piling up over weeks make women hate to be around you.

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No SHE wanted to clear things up in person because SHE didn't want to follow through on her word anymore. Don't just chime in until you fully understand.