| Hey, at first I‘m not a native speaker, so please forgive me some mistakes. Furthermore, she ist not officially my girlfriend, but certainly far more than just a girl than I would like to seduce. As a consequence, I think this is the right segment to post it.
I am currently an Erasmus student (Erasmus is a student exchange program within Europe). 5 weeks ago I met another Erasmus student. She lives as plenty of other students with me in the same bulding. From our first meeting I‘ve felt a strong connection between us (especially our eye contact was incredible and the attraction was very strong). Our first meeting was very short, but even the second meeting ended with a seperation from the other Erasmus group and with sex. From that time on, our relationship is an up and down. In one moment we‘ve very strong feelings, in the next moment she‘s creating drama or like at the moment, she‘s ignoring me.
Last week started very good and we had sex every day for several times (we‘ve spent more or less all the nights together). On Friday we travelled with a big Erasmus group for a short holiday to another city. Our journey was still fine, we were very close and even cuddling in the public while sleeping. A few hours later, more or less all of the sudden, her behaviour became hostile. She didn‘t speak to me anymore, she didn‘t look into my eyes and she tried to stay away from me as far as possible. I was angry, because this wasn‘t the first time (there has been already one similar occurence). But still, I didn‘t react and waited for the evening. As we‘ve slept in different hotel rooms and we rested for a while, I hoped she would calm down after a few hours. Unfortunately, this wasn‘t the case. At the party, I think, I complicated the situation. I was angry and not willing to accept this behaviour anymore (the first occasion was e.g. 3 days of silence, even when we were 8 hours together in a small group back then. It was me to end the silence back then, by the way.). So I get close to another girl (She has seen me walking hand in hand withthis another girl outside the building). With that girl nothing happened, but of course, for her it must have looked otherwise. Also other dramas at the beginning were created like this, but due to our intense relationship the last few days and weeks I had not the feeling to come closer to other girls. She left the party early and the next day I haven‘t seen her at all, so she skipped all the organized events (I don‘t know what the hell she did in the evening. Either she stayed in the hotel or she went with other people that are outside our circle of friends. On Sunday (the final day) I saw her again, but she talked no words as from Friday afternoon on and Saturday. Even when she was desperately looking for her Iphone and I helped her by calling her wasn‘t enough in order to get a thank you. Unfortunately, we had to sit together in the train for our return journey. But different as on our first journey, we sat opposite and not parallel. She used this situation to put even a big handbag on the table between our seats, so that I couldn‘t see her. At least, she was able to answer my good bye after our ways seperated in our building.
I am really confused and don‘t know what to do. I know, the easiest and maybe best solution is just to quit the connection to her as there is no future (we come from different countries) anyway. But still, I would like to know what I could do and what I‘ve done wrong in the past. Because this is more or less not the first time that such stuff has happened to me. In the moment I feel more and more close to a girl, I often get such a blow.
As I‘ve told already, we are pretty close and talking about everything and very intimate. Consequently, I know a lot about her life and she also about mine‘s. One time, she told me that her first ignoring was a try to push me away, but I succeeeded by insisting. She also told me, I would help her to get a better woman again by forgetting old disappointments. A lot of people could now think, I am a nice guy and that I am only seeking for rapport. But that‘s not true. She feels highly attracted to me, we‘ve had sex already for at least 25-30 times (and very good by the way. I am for example the first man creating her an orgasm). On Wednesday last week, e.g., we left a club for just having a quickie (it was more her wish) before going back to the party. I love sex, I am able to escalate so that‘s not the problem. But afterwards, I have no problem with 2 or 3 hours cuddling (actually I love it) and having a talk (could be interrupted of course by a second or third round of sex) So I think, I try to connect a soft part with a hard part.
Finally, my question: Why do I get this behaviour, even if I am able to create both, rapport and attraction, what I am doing wrong and what to do now? She‘s certainly a passive-aggression person, it would take too much time to explain why. But she is also very intelligent and is therefore aware of her behaviour, actually. She is really a reflecting person. But this ignorance is just confusing me. Is it really, as I expect it, just a try of her to push me away because she cannot deal with the strong feelings and the loss of independence or is it in reality just because I‘ve lost a lot of attraction by doing anything wrong?
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CHAT