Hi guys,

Just came across this forum just now, I need your opinion. I'm not new to game or dating as I've dated dozens of women before and slept with a lot of them, however I have never been in a LTR. This post is not about an ex-girlfriend but a girl that I was dating up until now, so I hope that I'm respecting forum guidelines.

So I met this girl this Summer, through friends. The first month, everything was going great (She would text me by herself every morning, I would see her 2-3 times a week even though we had busy schedules, we would kiss for hours at the end of each date, she was always happy to see me, etc)

So after a month and a half of dating, my best friend told me that I should ask her to make this thing official, i.e. to make this relationship official. I was kind of hesitant but since he had 3 relationships and that strategy worked with his 3 girlfriends, I decided to trust his suggestion. Plus, like I said, she was very into me so I didn't think it would fail.

When I asked her, she was like "we can be exclusive but I don't know you enough for us to be in a relationship, I need to get to know you more in order to trust you. So I would need more time for this". So I was like ok, this seems like a red flag but since I liked her, I told her that it's ok and that we'll take our time. My best friend told me that I should wait for her to be ready but he seemed surprised that she didn't accept right away, based on what he saw from her behavior with me.

Now, please bear in mind that she's a virgin. I've never dated one before, so after this weird episode, I tried having sex with her a few days later and she got mad for a few days because she "specifically told me that it would take her a lot of time for us to have sex". It was in the heat of the moment, we were kissing very intensely so I didn't think she would get mad about it. But eventually she forgave me and she introduced me to her parents, and I thought everything was going great.

We continued dating, having fun on dates, kissing for hours, etc. The most sexual we got is by her giving me handjobs and she let me rub her down there, but over the panties.

One day, 2 months in, she stopped texting me by herself every morning. I had seen her 2 days before that day, but she was sick but we still had fun on our date. On top of that, she sent mixed signals (some text messages were cold as ice whereas others were filled with smileys) so I was confused but still alarmed. 4 days later after this initial "text withdrawal", she says we should go for coffee...


So I went for coffee with her. She then proceeded to say "Remember when you wanted us to make this official? Well in order for me to be in a relationship with someone, I need to have feelings for them... I tried having feelings for you, but I wasn't able to... so I'm sorry, I think we should end it."

I was very shocked, to say the least. I was literally kissing her for hours, eating her tits, kissing all her body, one week before that dreadful day. She said I didn't do anything wrong, but that she didn't have feelings for me.

So that's it. We broke up and that was it. I haven't spoken to her since. I'm very disappointed since she was a family girl with good values, the complete opposite of the usual sluts that I bang. So my question is: from this read, what do you think did I do wrong? I kind of suspect that it was when I asked her to make this thing official-- that put pressure on her to fall in love with me asap. What do you guys think?

Thanks in advance.

I think there's a tendancy to look for a point in which you did something wrong, instead of recognizing, "hey, she just didnt have strong enough feelings for me." If you had not asked her to be your gf, you'd be here asking "I kind of suspect it was because I didnt make it official."

What I see is you dating a chick you weren't compatible with. Your views on sex were different, and I think you wanted to tie her down because of superficial ideals, ie, her family values. You met a chick, and wanted to tie her down because of this image of her. You compromised your values for hers.

Thanks. However, that's what I don't get-- usually, a girl knows early on if she will have feelings for you (from my past experience with FWB's). Why did it take her 2 months to know that, and why all those hours spent kissing and touching then? It was all lust after all?

Not every interaction is destined to be a relationship.

Next time let the woman come to you with the relationship talk.

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Thanks, I was thinking the same.