Sad
Being with a mental is some kind of a devil involved card game. You may win some rewards unknown to the others but still, whatever you do there is a feeling of upcoming pain softly touching your neck.
Subject title became quite out of date but right now I can still moan a little bit hoping to find some answers before this conversation will be moved to a graveyard.
!Warning! I don't know if I'm directly following the subforum rules right now but as this thread will probably be closed soon I can add a single plot also related to a person who is definately highly fkin unstable right? Yeah, same girl ofc.
Wonder if it's cureable
So there should be three parts for those of you wishing to help with a single word.
When I was with her I did only one thing when it comes to /other girl things/. I know a girl for like a 9 years now, we've exchanged thousands of messages and hundreads of phone hours so far. One of those funny feelings when you can feel that you may even be in love with somebody you've never seen in person. She has her own life, kid and a guy who knows about me (like love from her dreams that was not given a chance ^^) and he kinda get used to it. After all, 8-9 years is quite a time.
My /An/ hacked into my FB and saw things like messages that I'd like to kiss this girl, or just lie down and fall asleep next to her but I do love /An/ and I don't want to hurt anybody.
Second thing, when we had a /break/ a few weeks ago I told her that an ex-waitress that I know works like 50m from me now and I'm thinking about seeing her for a coffee or something admiting that yeah, she is kinda hot.
So, here comes the main fancy plot eh.
To Note: Incident with the platonic girl was like 2 months ago, talking about the waitress like 1 mnth.
She came to my place like 4 hours ago after a long conversation about healthy relationships via sms during work. We started with laugh, hugging and all normal things normal couples do. Suddenly she asked something about the /waitress/WT/ out of i have no fkin nowhere. Twas kinda weird for me, having a decent time and than hearing things like - You really like her horsy face don't you? If you'd fucked her I'll probably never know right? I don't trust you and I know that you wouldn't confess anyway. Like with /the first mentioned girl/ you still are a traitor bastard you know? // She became quite agressive like loud voice, curses and some madness in her eyes. When I told her that it's enought and she's going home next bus she told me to ,,fuck myself".
We went out to walk a little bit. My mindset was that after such wtf action I did not want to see her at this time, sending her home. I told her that she's definately going home and if she'll have a day or two maybe she'll realise why she fkd up so badly today. During next hour she was reffering to some completly other things, like that I can't blame her for such actions cause she can't trust me after actions of mine. That I'm not trying to prove her that I am a decent guy now >
> Babe, you just told me to fuck myself, calling me a fuckin traitor out of nothing and you are cursing right now cause I told you to go home?
> If you were a normal loving guy, no matter what I do you'd hug me right now saying that you're sorry.
I mean... ugh... I told her that it's time to go back as we had like 15mins before bus. 2 mins BB she's opened a beer saying that she'll probably not enter this one but I do not need to wait with her. Well, we came back for the bus we've agreed she'll enter but what can I do.
She didn't enter it. While going away I was hearing things like if I am really leaving now I can never call her again as well. That I DID THE BAD THING cause when she started her retarded mindset I was the one to blame, no matter if I did stg a week, month or a year ago, even when screaming to fuck myself and that I'm a pathetic traitor creature I should be the one to apologise to her, hug her and try to get her trust back...
Eh. Living with her is a wonderful thing most of the time, but actions as above, I used to call them her ,,attacks" ,,seizures" (or whatever it's spelling is when your heart is not working fancy anymore). Told her we're gonna have a 2-3 days break and till than she can convince me that twas a one time psycho attack. She answered that she's already said everything she wanted and there won't be more. Excluding the next messages like ,,my bus in 16 mins, you know what to do" , ,,I'm still here. That's your last chance to prove you really care"...
I mean... sorry for OT but fk it, same girlfriend, just slightly different problems and even banning me will be worth if even one person will give me some hints or any advise. I know she has some serious /problems/ but is there any pattern for such thing or is it usually just GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE thing.
Night alphas
CHAT
