Hi all,

So I wouldn't say I'm any good at pickup, but I've been aware of it since I was about 16, when I used to watch david deangelo videos on youtube and became aware of concepts like inner game, shit tests, and frame control.

When I was 18 I met a hot girl with whom, I put into practice my very limited game and over 7 years later we were still together. She's a very insecure girl, and has always questioned whether I have been faithful (despite the fact I have!). Our relationship has been far from problem free, and in recent months, she has become disillusioned with the fact I am not ready for kids, and that I want to get married, and buy a house first (which will take a year or two). We literally never go out for food, and she's never been abroad because she's too anxious to get on a plane. She's suffered with anxiety and depression throughout our relationship, but she stood by me while I was in Afghanistan about 4 years ago. Her family and friends pretty much think I'm a selfish guy who doesn't appreciate her, and consider her the victim of our relationship. The relationship became fairly toxic in recent months and things came to a head about 5 weeks ago when she told me she wasn't sure we should be together. I suggested she go stay with her family for a few days to work out what she want, and when she told me that my suggestion was so that I could fuck other girls in her absence, I responded by saying I may as well, since I'm constantly blamed for it.

She left that night, broke up with me in a rage, and over the following week removed all her stuff from our place. Meanwhile she's been living with her gandparents. In the first few weeks I became very bitch like, and would call, cry, ask her to stay etc. About three weeks after we broke up, she turned down my offer of taking her out to the cinema. Told me stop being a bitch, and to get on with my life.

Snapping out of my beta state, I started working on myself. Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Gyming, tanning, being more outgoing, etc. We had hardly spoken for a few weeks, but a few days ago we met to visit my Father at the hospice he is at (He has cancer), and afterwards we kissed. She came over yesterday and declared that she misses me, wants me back, and so I asked her if she had fucked any other guys while we were single. She said that she had been speaking to her ex for a few weeks, (a guy whose mother is a family friend of hers). She said she never spoke to him while we were together, but messaged him on facebook, and suggested they catch up. She picked him up a few days ago, they went for a drink and she took them back to his parents house, where they were alone, and kissed a few times.
When she told me, I showed no emotion, and said that's totally cool since we were single. I explained I had remained faithful while I was waiting for (although I have been gaming girls, I haven't done anything) but she broke down an apologised profusely for seeing him. She assured me that they didn't do anything beyond kissing, (Which I'm not sure I believe but is basically irrelevant!) and that she regrets it. She said they haven't spoken since. I did say to her that I think he's a wuss, because if I was in his shoes, I would have managed to get the fuck, but that she was single, shouldn't feel guilty etc. And honestly, I don't blame her, and am not bitter. That's life. She stayed last night and we fucked. She wants to come over again tonight.

The spanner in the works is that I'm now well on the road to a better place. Feeling better, looking better, got a date coming up on Saturday, and got a sweet place lined up to move into, when our tenancy ends on this place! She looks like she hasn't changed much, pretty weak mentally, obviously has shown some very bad behaviour, big red flag, and has asked about coming home to live with me, and being a couple again.

Option one is do what all of my family and friends say, and chin the bitch off, for good.
Option two is keep her on a string so I can fuck her. Try and get a threesome with another chick out of her, and be prepared to walk away when things get boring.
Option three is give her the benefit of the doubt, and hope that having worked out what she wants, she's a better girlfriend this time around.

I'm leaning towards option two, but if you have got this far, please share your opinion!

Yea because that's always such a good idea after LTR's. That's relapse logic. Pretty much exactly what the crack addict will say to justify being around crack some more. "I'll just take it in moderation from now on".
Come on man. You're smarter than that.
Sure. Give the girl accusing you of cheating her for 7 straight years the benefit of the doubt. The same girl that ran off to her ex 1 week after braking up with you.
Do you really believe that what hasn't changed over 7 years will change over 7 weeks?
She has deep, core issues. Those take months if not even years for people to work on and surpass. If you could overcome shit like that overnight forums like this wouldn't exist.

Don't.

What is there to even consider? Your relationship was toxic and that's because toxic is exactly what happens when people are not emotionally capable of handling a commitment.
Besides, yes she was single, but she ran off to her ex literally first thing after breaking up with you. I mean what the fuck does that say about her? Is that weak character the type you want to build a future with? To start a family?

And to be truthful man, she's coming back to you because she panicked at the idea of dragging her ass back to the dating pool. That's why she went to her ex and it's also why she went back to you.
She didn't "realize she made a mistake", she didn't "become a better girlfriend". The only thing she realized is that she's too much of a mess to find someone else.

Don't be an idiot. You don't turn ex LTR's in fuck buddies unless they're incredibly cool and can handle that. This woman could barely handle the relationship. Keep that in mind.

You're on a good path. You're seeing improvement in your life. You're not stagnating anymore. Don't fuck it all up.

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There's no such thing as shit-tests.
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What RC said

Also, just had to laugh at this:


and RC's words
Lol. Yeah man, she wants you because her next option was an ex who she had to drive and who doesnt even have his own place. She doesnt want to take her insecure, anxious butt out there and when she dipped her toes in the dating waters, she realized just who fucked up it was.

1) She told you to stop being a bitch when she felt strong and could see you weak and chasing behind her. When she discovered she wouldn't get anything better and you were improving yourself, she ran back to you.

2) You call her bitch; maybe justified. So are you going to have a healthy relationship with someone who you call a bitch and do not respect?
Agreed that you don't blame her since you both broke up. But why did you use the word "faithful" for yourself?
Here is your answer. Option 1 is the only way to go. It is very complicated to still be fucking with your ex shortly after a break up, especially if there is still feelings involved. She is insecure, the way she handled the break up shitting on you when she felt in position of power and then running back to you when the dynamics changed, that alone says everything.

Your option list is in a very tiny bubble. There are infinite options just outside that bubble.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Thanks for the responses. I guess I'm looking for confirmation that the right thing to do is tell her it is over, and over for good. Once I do that, I cannot go back though and so I need to be certain.

I wonder if she had just come back and realised she had made a mistake, without seeing her ex, then perhaps we could have had a future. But because she did see him, it kind of cements things. That's basically how I feel, but it is in conflict with the idea that what she did while she was single, was her business, and shouldn't be a factor in my decision making. So it's confusing.
Bottom line is that despite 'feelings' the most widely given opinion to me so far, and obviously the smartest move, is to cut all ties, and look for the next one. It just so happens that the correct thing to do, is almost always the most difficult.

It's simple. There is only one option, to move on.

You're already healing and doing much better, do you really want to hit the reset button and erase all that progress?? You're well on your way to becoming a better man, what has she offered you in 7 years besides some sex and affection? Likely she's at status quo, a Headwind of sorts that will only slow down your journey to becoming all you can be. Find somebody who supports you, is more secure with themselves, and it will pay off in dividends, guaranteed. Stick with dead weight, and settle (as most people do) and live the rest of your life on the sidewalk watching life pass you by.