OK I think I got a realization.

I want to make a confession with this. So please take it serious.

As I examined my emotions and behavior for the last romantic situation and comparing it to previous ones I have figured out that I have some minor bug in the system so to speak. I think most people do have many though. I might suffer (if that's the correct word) from a slight syndrome of possessiveness.

I say slight since I'm not some over jealous idiot of course.

However as I said compared to previous situations I find some pattern going on and pretty much most of the break-ups that I had (i mean I was the one who got dumped) I figured out it was due to me somehow reacting or being possessive in some way.
Disclaimer should be put here though - I never said a women "you are mine", "you must be only with me", "don't talk/see anybody else". Just to be clear on that, in order to avoid misunderstanding.
But probably I give similar vibe when such situation occurs (i.e. another guy coming around the girl I have something with).

So I know step one is to accept and acknowledge the problem, as I do now.

But what are some next steps in order to get rid of that behavior, since as I see it is very unattractive and doesn't serves me/or anyone any good.

Cheers.

P.S. please don't tell me go out and pick up many woman - I've done that, I still do it sometimes, however this issue occurs a bit further down the road when I got some emotionally invested in the relation.

TY

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Can you give examples? Like situations where you were possessive or may have given that impression

Long time ago when I was still teenager I remember I acted negatively when I heard my gf when to a party and asked some other guys (friends of her) to take her home instead of me. Few weeks later she broke off with me. I wondered why, then I figured out why.
It was about 10 yrs ago, and since I haven't acted in that extreme, but probably still have some remains of it.

Also probably in the last thread I posted. Where everybody blamed me that I was reacting when I heard she is not available.

Although I was trying to justify (more rather explain better myself) I realize now it was a bit like that. Probably its not the biggest issue in the world, but some times it self sabotages me. Got to handle my shit together on that issue once and for all.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Instead-After fucking her real good. "Who's ass is THIS!? (Slapping aforementioned ass).

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Well yeah, in that case of course.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

I'll write more later but i don't understand... Your gf went to a party without you and didn't ask you to pick her up so you after negatively?can you clarify this

Also one more example?

Yes I remember that I talked with her and she said that she was at party previous night, so I asked her why she hasn't called after the party to pick her (since I think I didn't wanted to go). She replied that some other people walked her home. I and I remember that this somehow affected me. I know it sounds ridiculous now. And want to stress out it was about 10 years ago and since then I went through lots of development, however some issues like that still seem to appear from time to time, of course not as much as before.

Like some sort of an instinct gets triggered - very primal and when it shows up in a behavior it turns women off and causes them to either LJBF or straight end the relationship or get confused.

Another example was a couple of years ago I dated one girl and she left the town for a week or so, for business. I remember I called her about something, don't remember what exactly, but when she got back she said that didn't wanted to date anymore. Something during that call turned her off. Honestly i don't remember what I said - it was about 3 years ago and since then I met many other people and grew of course.

As I'm pondering on this I suppose it is something due to some insecurity of some sore however idk what.
Besides that everything seems fine. I don't have problem meeting new women, attracting them etc. I have cool social circle, friends, and keep myself positive most of the time.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Your imagination gets the best of you. If you can trust this girl then there's no need to worry. You are not possessive per say, you are insecure. That insecurity drives you for security by trying to possess her and control her. It's a simple fix when you trust her. As long as you can that is. If she is honest, which is sounds like she is I guess, then don't sweat the details. If you overthink or let your imagination run wild about what she was doing and who she was with and whether this is the truth or not then you will go crazy

Yes I understand that. And I control it to some extend.

Idk what this insecurity is due to and thus find a way to patch it.

Yes even if I go and meet new women and people occasionally deep inside I wan't happy relationship and when I get with a girl that I perceive is potential for such, all this kind of weird biases start to show up. On the one side this indicates that I care, on the other if it goes overboard it works against me repealing people.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Insecurity..... when you got 10 other girls waiting to fuck you/be with you because your a catch you don't ever think about your girl cheating/possessing her because if she does SHE is losing you/the catch/ the best man on the planet...

So to fix your insecurity you need to realize/become the best you can be so your way of thinking will change from i need to act jealous if a guy comes over/ she goes out without you to try it girl and i might walk. Give the girl you date the benefit of the doubt unless proven otherwise.

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Op you sound like pussy. After ten fucking years you are at the exact point where you used to be. No improvement at your game. It sucks bro.

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Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

dickmaster's projecting again

You're going to want to differentiate between her behavior being suspicious and your reactions. When guys finally start seeing the signs of a straying partner or see other guys gaming their girls they realize what is happening. If you see these signs then maybe you can't trust her and it's good you do recognize it. However your reaction should be intellgent. Acting jealous even when she is being flirty or making untrustworthy decisions doesn't aid the situation. So it comes down to you deciding to handle that situation differently like moving onto a girl who doesn't make you feel insecure, given that it's her behavior and not your imagination running wild.

Do you need dick, master is here.

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Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

Trust is important, but it's easier said than done. I think it's not about the girl, or possessiveness that causes the problem for the OP. I didn't read his previous posts, but he seems like a guy who's cool otherwise.

I think the source of the problem is lying outside dating life, relationships, you don't really have any hobby, or activity that you enjoy. You have a lot of free time and you're prone to overthinking.

Could be wrong though, but ever since I devoted my life, and my time to things that mattered only to me (selfishness is okay), my hobbies etc. My relationship with women really improved.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.