OK this is not some situation based problem... well maybe to some extend it is?

So the question is straightforward but here are some details to it.

Lets say you meet with new girl, you hook up, have fun, have sex etc..., things go well, you get along very well with each other. Weeks past by, months past by - you see each other regular, you don't have major arguments (maybe some minor), and things go smooth and everything seems fine.
However you haven't had the gf-bf talk. You haven't spoke about what is going on with you together in the future.

1st question - what is the status of you relations if that's the case? Are you being exclusive, is it an open type of relationship or what is it?

2nd question - who has to bring the topic of commitment and when exactly and who also has to bring the gf/bf talk?

Ideally IMO (from my point of view) it would have to be the woman, since that will indicate the man that she is ready to progress the relation...
Because if the guy does it this might scary her away or make perceive him as needy or too pushy.

Am I right or wrong on that ?

Guys and also women's opinions welcomed.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

You've been coming to that shop every day for a month, helping with the accounting, the sales, the cleaning, and sometimes the boss gives you some money. But you never had a conversation regarding you being hired. So technically your status is just "coming every day, working a bit, and sometimes getting paid." No way of knowing whether you're an employee until you ask about it.

I.E. oh my God I'm so afraid to talk about it I hope she brings it first.

What about manning up and just telling her, some time after sex, that you want to check the status of your relationship, because you don't want her to be more invested than you are or conversely? Tell her what you expect in your relationship, and tell her if she's expecting something different you two can discuss about it.

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We do what we have to do in order to do what we want to do.

mmm.. yea that makes sense. I get it. I just haven't thought about that approach.

Thanks.

Btw I'm definitely not afraid to talk about it.

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Talking hypotheticals is a waste of time. And here's why. If you've been regularly hanging out for months, spending weekends together, sleeping at each other's place, bringing toothbrushes or whatever, you're in a relationship.
That's what couples do. You don't need to have a gf-bf talk. A relationship is not something you agree upon and then build, it's something you evolve into and later simply acknowledge.
Again, hypotheticals. Time is irrelevant. How long you've been dating is irrelevant. If you're like that idiot Moose and have been dating a girl for an entire year without sleeping with her, you're nowhere. You're nowhere in life for that matter but that's a different topic.
What is relevant is the essence of your relationship. Do you just text her at 2AM on a Friday night saying "Sex?", go fuck, then leave in the morning and not really talk much until either of you gets drunk and horny again?
Or do you text/call somewhat regularly, schedule dates, go out together, meet each-others' friend, cook, watch movies?

Three months don't just pass by without you have any clue of what kind of relationship forms between you.
For me, it's always her. Maybe there's a sadistic part in me that enjoys watching them beat around the bush and try to fish information out of me. I think it's cute. But at the same time I value my time and I'm not going to make any commitments to someone who hasn't earned that. And part of earning it is wanting it bad enough to ask for it. Especially in a society where it's always expected of the man to put himself out there.
You're wrong. I can rewrite this last paragraph and simply switch guy and woman, and it would be equally as valid of a point.
If the woman does it she too can scare the guy away. She too can seem needy or pushy.

So while yes, I'm never the one to initiate that talk, it's not for fear of "pushing her away" or coming across as "needy".

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

And what do you do if she doesn't initiates it. She just keeps it light and casual, but you want something more exclusive.

And what if she doesn't fish information out of you?

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

It's a matter of how invested she is.

If she keeps it light and casual it's because she wants it light and casual. i.e. she's not looking for something serious.
And if you are, then why are you dating her?

You can force people into relationships if that's not what they're looking for. And even if you could - how successful would it be?

So if she's cool you either keep dating her in a light and casual fashion while also meeting other women that have similar goals as you, or you stop dating her all together and then meet other women that are looking for similar things.

What if she doesn't?

I already said this, a relationship is something you evolve into and simply acknowledge later, not something you agree upon and then start building.

Having that "talk" is a mere formality. You do not become exclusive once you had it. You become exclusive beforehand when each of you individually decide you're best for eachother and don't wanna date other people.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

This

Too many guys on here are trying to transform chicks who want different things from them into a gf. A requirement for being exclusive with her should be SHE WANTS EXCLUSIVITY. If she doesnt, then she shouldnt be your gf and you should find someone who does want what you do. If you were hiring for a job, would you keep interviewing the person who does not even want the job, nor wants to perform the duties the job entails? No. Youd find people who actually want to do the kind of work you're interviewing for.

got it - makes sence, both of you.

TY

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

If you want a relationship with her tell her. Don't waste time.
If she doesn't want the same (which I doubt it) it's better to know sooner than later.
It doesn't matter WHO brings up the subject. It matters that the subject is brought up.
If you truly want to get into a relationship you shouldn't build your relationship into power games because it will backfire.
Lots of guys who join PU are convinced that women want to chase all the time to feel satisfied.
That's just BS. There are plenty of women who like the man to take initiative.
The healthy thing is when there is a balance.

if you going out and sexing, basically doing all the relationship stuff, without the title i wouldn't push for title.

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

Now be truthful... would you bring a relationship if you wanted one?

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Bla, bla, bla.....

A Bro's main priority for defining relationship status is to thwart off other penis's.

Like a super hero putting up a force field. A thin vial.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

i think the more strong/ dominant a man is the better he'll be at thwarting of penises. and feel the person who wants it less the other is the strong.

just enjoy the sex n fun times bruh

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

I would give him a month or a month and a half if he wouldn't bring it up or at least introduce me as his gf then I take it that he is a player and I treat him as such.

LMAO...So it doesn't matter WHO brings up the subject, as long as it's brought up but at the same time, you'll wait for him to bring it up or you'll label him. I think he comes out ahead with this because he has had a month to get you to invest into him. Although you have him labeled, you still didn't say you'd walk away.

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