Dear forum.

My girlfriend told be a couple of days before leaving for a 6 months exchange in America, that she is very unsure about our future together.

She told me that she loves me but she is not sure that she is IN love with me anymore. Furthermore she noted that she has a hard time seeing us having a future together, because we are so different. I work with hardcore finance and she studies art and literature.

When that is said I am sure that it is not too late. We still have amazing sex and kiss a lot and have fun, but sometimes we have a hard time understanding each others different worlds. For example, she said that it seems like we sometimes don't have much to talk about and that she has a hard time imagine her coming home from work to me (she "jokes" that I probably won't be there because I am working a lot).

When all this is said, I am sure that she is the one and I really really want to prove that, but it's a hard mission with her being on the other side of the world (I live in Denmark). The problem is that I don't know how to get her on board again.

My thoughts are that I could try really to write her a lot more (Has been an issue), but honestly I think that I might just push her further away. Otherwise I should maybe let her have her fun and time away and when writing her, really show that I am willing to understand her side too. Maybe reading one of her favourite books etc...

Anyhow there seems to be a million ways to go about it, so please give me some advice if you have any, on how to convince my girlfriend that I am THE GUY for her and to make her miss me while she is abroad.

I know this is hard to hear, but she is really saying that she's going overseas and is planning to be single while she's there. All of the rest is just fluff for the real message she was trying to deliver. Sorry that you're going through this.

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Yeah man, as Jack said she wants to be single. At the end of the day, she's not in the relationship she wants to be in long term. She's not the girl for you, and you're not the guy for her.

The more you try, the less chance you'll have.

There's a sticky thread, written by me, called "To the guys who want their ex back!" in this section of the forum that we're in now. If you class her as an ex or not, I'd still read it and apply everything in there. I can personally promise from experience that it works - maybe not in the way you want right now, but in the way that you'll either get her back or you wont give a fuck anymore because you'll have so many new girls and be happier than you've been in a long time.

As Jack said, I'm sorry that you're going through this shit.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Thanks for your honesty guys. Sounds like our relationship is heading towards an end. I'll keep you guys updated if something happens

Until then I'll try to grow some balls and implement some of the things suggested in the linked thread.

Just to enforce, the guys are right. What she's actually saying is that she wants to be single in America. I suggest you break it off yourself.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I think if u have serious relationships everything will be ok! But to understand it u should read https://kovla.com/blog/8-sure-ways-know ... g-serious/ . This article will help u!
Good luck!

Well of course you guys were right!

To explain the whole story I'll have to start at a while back.

My girlfriend is very pretty and has always been popular. A year ago she got a skin disease, which meant that she had to take some very powerful drugs. She had tried it a couple of years ago as well and back then she got a depression because of the drugs.

Unfortunately she got another depression after talking the pills and got another really bad depression. This alongside with me not being a very good boyfriend was too much for her and she said that she would leave my if I didn't do more to be with her. Before then I was often with my friends, doing other things and necleting her, because I was sure that she would be there for me, because she was crazy into me and wanted to spend every second together.

From this point I changed because I deep down felt that I really loved her and wanted to help her get over the depression. I kind of got afraid to be an asshole and started do agree with her too much and being afraid to loose her. Because of the depression she changed as well and became emotionally unstable. She wasn't the same happy girl anymore and lost interest in a lot of things - including me I responded by doing even more for her, and being the perfect boyfriend. In retrospect I should not have changed my self too much and have done all these things. In the beginning of the relationship I was super confident cool guy, and in the end I was a jalous insecure guy.

This mounted to her being very insecure about our relationship, which she told be some days before she went on exchange. After one week she called my (texting had been good and so on), to tell me that she missed me so much and that she wanted me to come over. I therefore booked expensive flight across the world for april and I thought that this was very good.

Her depression hit her then because she started drinking a lot while being on her depression meds. This makes people go crazy, get even drunker, horrible hangovers, and it can leed to a state of manio depressive. Each weekend when she got drunk she told me she was happy with the others, but always sad the next day when we SPAM. Finally this weekend she admitted that she made a mistake and kissed a guy. She said that she was sorry and I of course broke it of with her immediately.

After calming my self down we wrote together and she said that she was in a fucked up place in her life, and that she couldn't be the girlfriend i deserved. She hated what she had done to me, and repeatedly told me that she loved me, but that she right now needed some space.

I haven't wrote to her since, but her parrents (who loves me) wrote and said that they were so sorry about what happened and that they were worried about her as well. She apparently talked about getting tattoos, piercings and everything... which was strange because she never used to be like this.

Even though all of this has happened I still love her so much. From the day she got that depression everything changed, and I think it sucks that this depression is partly what has made this relationship go downhill. I didn't help it by beeing needy, and insecure the last months....

Now I want to ask you guys again, since you were right the first time.

How can i get this girl back? She is the love of my life, so even though the most sane option would be to say fuck this girl and never ever get in contact with her again, it is not an option.

My own thoughts are:
Try to get on with my life ASAP.
It will not be possible to get her back be texting and calling her. It will only push her further away. Therefore I am not going to contact her for at least a month, hoping that she realises that it was a mistake
Maybe delete her on facebook, but it is very drastic, because it is basically our only communication platform. On the other hand it makes me scarce

Any other good ideas to how to get her back. I can forgive her for the kiss and I know she han't fucked anyone, she would have told me on SPAM after I broke up with her (She almost cried/screamed nooo xxxxx I hvan't when i asked her about it...

FML - need a little help

This.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Lol you really believe all that was pills and depression? As much as you may want this to be different this is just a girl going to the US and wanting to experience new dick. Sorry for your loss but come on.

AUCH!!!

But you guys are right again... It hurts but I just have to move on, trying to improve all aspects of my life! So fucking stupid since I have always been able to get really nice girls. Maybe I should find a fucking ugly one, so I don't have to deal with all this bullshit ^^

Fuck her, i'll make some updates to my progress in the next couple of weeks, after hopefully fucking some other girls...

Thanks again for the advice, I needed to hear that.

Even if the depression/pills part is true, regardless of what she was she now is a fucked up individual, and you can never fix broken people. THey can only fix themselves, which very very few do.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Send her a love song of you playing the guitar whilst making the rhythm with the stomping of your Clogs.

Great idea! why haven't I thought of that?

Hey fellow Puas!!

I have decided to make this thread into a place where I will make updates about the progress of moving on goes! I hope that the thread in the end, might be valuable to all others that are or will be in the same situation as me..

It has now been a week since the break-up mentioned earlier happened. There has been ups and downs, but mainly down. I did however go skiing which I haven't done for a couple of years, because it wasn't my ex's thing. It was great to back on the slopes!

I have also signed up for a dancing class, which will begin tomorrow. It will be a great opportunity to improve my mediocre dancing skills and meet new people ! I'll keep you posted on how it went.

Finally I also went out with my lads, which was nice, but I wasn't really ready for hitting on girls yet. One problem is the self-esteem, which is very low. However it helped that I got invited to Brazil to party by to brazillian girls that i met this summer in Copenhagen! One of them even said if I wasn't coming, she would go to Copenhagen again LOL

I have furthermore unfollowed my ex on facebook and haven't written to her once. I stopped checking if she is only on messenger etc, and have made a huge bet with a friend to not write to her.

Anyway it seems like there is a light in the end of the tunnel, even though it has been one of the toughest weeks of my life.

+ Hanging out with friends and realized how important they are
+ Not haveing to cope with all the BS that my ex gave to me
+ New cloth, new experiences, new hairstyle
- She is in my thoughts constantly
- Still get very sad when I think of all the good things
- Still hopes that she will suddently write to me and say that she made a horrible mistake
- Haven't been with someone else