Hi guys.

I met this girl and we are in love(yes, should not be that complicated), but this is how I feel(we are like in the 3rd week of the relationship):

She keeps throwing obstacles(the alarming ones), because as im trained, I pick up the red flags right on the spot. And I don't want that shit in my relationship, so I call on that and we discuss(sadly).

Words that keep coming is "i need time", "this is going fast", "i'm afraid/scared"(i take this as commitment issue)to everything good and genuine love(for the most of the time, it feels so atleast). It feels like she keeps testing me, maybe draggin me along and I kinda can see throu the BS - or am I just insecure?

Granted, this girl is very inexperienced. But I also take it as mixed signals, because I can't relate to other than that?(never met inexperienced woman before).

Im so frustrated, that I'm about to drop everything. I will give it a shot thou, if you have any idea(if I can present this in a way, that makes me get throu loud and clear).

Thank you.

"i need time", "this is going fast", "i'm afraid/scared"

Translation: "I feel scared because I have a need for security that's not being met"

Take the cue, she's giving it right to you. Don't take it as a rejection, take it as a need you can help her meet (the need for security/to feel safe).


You're going to get guys posting here saying its some ASD or some crap, that just encourages mind-games. Give her the benefit of the doubt and trust in what she's telling you, if you want to have a healthy relationship. If you want games and toxicity, see it as some sort of shit-test.

3 weeks in, thinking or acting like both of you are in love IS PRETTY FAST.
If you're about to drop it out of frustration, how is this love?
This. I dont know how women tell guys EXACTLY whats up and they look for something more.

Again, women seem to have more sense in these threads. She's thinking logically...it IS too fast. It's most likely not "love." You're thinking emotionally, ie it's love, yet you're about to drop her for frustrations. You dont even trust her words. Is it love? Are things moving too fast? Do you know what intimacy is?

Well, I did everything after the book got it where I want(in a quickly fashion).

Now the power bites me in the ass, because I don't know where the fuck to steer it anylonger.

She keep floating so much between logical and emotional(where im more emotional now).

Thank you for the input guys. Keeps me thinking.

Misattribution. The book did nothing.

How the fuck are you "in love" after 3 weeks?

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I don't know...

Fast living fast dying? No clue, perhabs it's not geniune.

It can't be. You barely know her in 3 weeks.
I think you're taking the term love very lightly. Neo even painted a picture in that direction.

It's no wonder really the girl is feeling suffocated if you hold this relationship in "we love each other" standards so soon.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

At three weeks, you don't even know what her shit smells like yet.

Recognize the signals your new girl is sending out. Death by suffocation.

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I feel embarrassed.

Told it how I feel as it is. It made me feel like an asshole.

Mixed signal in this case: my own insecurities.

Thanks for input.

What MADE you feel like an "asshole"?

I reliased that we are going throu something very intense(which opens up for misunderstandings).

Benefit of doubt always.

That doesn't answer my question.

I asked for a feeling, you gave me vague thoughts (an interpretation) as to what's going on.

I don't know. You don't want to break someones heart? It makes me feel ashamed and respondsable.

Ok, now we're getting somewhere.

Feeling: ashamed

Responsibility lies in yourself. You cannot be responsible for the way another people feels or thinks, you can only stimulate them to do so.

So you're feeling ashamed because you somehow feel responsible for your girlfriend feeling heartbroken?