Hey guys, I am stuck and would appreciate your help. Long post, but I wanted to make sure you have all the info and can give me the best input .

So here's the story:

I met an interesting girl in my master's program (she is another department), initiated contact and proceeded in a skillful way without many mistakes, had several day time conversations. We also spent an entire evening talking at the party and ended up going to my place for a glass of wine (she seemed to be really into me). I tried some light kino but she wasn't open so I did not push, followed her home and all good. Next day she texted me saying she is sorry that she was drunk. We bump into each other in places like the canteen or library but she was behaving very shy when talking to me (it was always a bunch of people around). I teased her about it on Facebook and the virtual conversation went well.

I met her at the party in a few days but she acted very shy and closed, at one point I managed to isolate and I could tell she likes me, kept saying things like "you are so..."rolling her eyes in a playful way (I was being cocky funny, nagging and doing well). Then she had a too long conversation with a third person (2 times actually) with me standing by so I decided it is better if I leave so she doesn't get the feeling she can ignore me for long. I kept having fun with my friends and didn't talk to her to the end of the evening. Later in the night she texted me saying she wanted to say bye but I disappeared. I decided to ignore her text for sometime since she ignored me in the evening and could have come and say something after I left due to her prolonged conversations with third persons while I am waiting and feeling stupid. She chain texted me saying not to ignore her (in a playful way), so eventually I responded something cold but still lightly cocky-playful.

Some days after she invited herself for a dinner at my place, said she would cook. I had my training that night and didn't have the intention to change plans for her (girls can feel it and lose attraction when you do ). I played a bit, sked what she wants to cook and stuff and then after some conversation said I can't make it this time because I have my training. I let few days pass (I knew she went on a trip) and then initiated contact by asking when can I expect to be fed. She replied in a cold manner saying we should also ask some other people to join us if we are to organize a dinner. I continued in a playful way saying we should definitely do so because I am afraid to be alone with her anyway. Since she was cold, I didn't initiate contact. During day time I only see her rarely in a big group of people so it is impossible to engage, but when I could I have done my best.

Few days went by, a new party came, she texted me asking if I want to go. I said sure, see you there. Saw her at the party but she disappeared soon. Saw she was online so sent her a text, then asked her to meet me for a smoke (it was 2am). It was cold outside so I said lets go to my place so I can get my jacket, she refused, but came after some persuasion (I kept it casual as I really need my jacket). Offered her some wine. And here it is where I became inpatient and made mistakes, so bear with me .

I tried to steer the conversation to "us", because at this point I liked her a lot I became to open and started saying things like "shouldn't we stop playing and be more open about whats going on" and things like that. She refused such conversation (but in a "I am doing something wrong way"), so I told her if she feels like it she can always leave (I wanted to make sure she does not feel under pressure). Eventually she left and texted me immediately saying she is sorry and did not want to make things awkward but really likes to hang out with me without any hidden thoughts. I played it cool and told her it's ok, but I just don't feel like having all this conversations in virtual world all the time (contact in real life was minimum but text exchanging massive and full of good vibe) and wished her a good week. She replied by saying something like "why are you always so cold to me?" (I didn't reply because I saw it as a trap and shit test).

Then it get worst and I have done a big mistake, she texted me again a few days later in the evening so we started the conversation and I became even more open, asking me why she is always texting me late in the night, why is she always having this extensive conversation with me on Facebook but being unable to look at me in the eyes when we talk in real life (she acts like she really likes me and is ashamed, but it could be a female trick ). I felt tired and I was already to committed so I decided I want to solve things here and move on if it is a definite no. So I said I am coming to her place for a talk (she said it is not the time - it was 00.00) but I said I'll come anyway and she doesn't have to come outside if she doesn't want to and I won't judge her (we live only 5 min away). She came and we had this conversation where she continued acting like she likes me, being playful and touching me, I said I do not feel like being just friends, she refused to give an open answer. I pushed her several times to express her opinion on the whole situation and got her to eventually said no to my direct question if we should be more than friends. I played it cool, cracked a few jokes, didn't show I was affected at all, thanked her for her honesty and left. As soon as I came home I blocked her messages on fb thinking that might force her to have a real time conversation with me instead of sending me messages all the time.

We kept saying hi during the day (she is always in a group so no chance of conversation) but eventually she started looking at me in an angry way and saying hi really coldly. At the parties she would come to me to kick me (literally) or insult me and then leave. Once we had a breif conversation and than she started being dramatic, saying I can't talk to you when I am drunk and left. I tried to say hi once again at the party but she looked at me in an angry way just said hi and left me in the middle of the sentence. I pretended I am not affected and kept saying hi to her nicely whenever I saw her and acted like I do not care at all. This all is happening in a time span of 1.5 months.

Now after a long silence she sent me a cute fb message inviting me for coffee in my language. I did not reply and I need your advice what to do. I always felt like I just need a normal talk with her where I will be able to display my skills and personality and it might just go well. On the other side I can't accept the invitation now because I will seem week and needy (after all she refused my two attempts of talking with her). So should: I wait a few days and text her back; not reply at all; reply and say something like "thanks but I dont hang out with rude people" in a nice and non carrying way?

Not to brag but to explain my situation here - my social status is high here, I am surrounded with girls (several of them openly chasing me) and known to be a fun guy with a good vibe (I worked hard on it).

As usually in this situations, I do like the girl a lot. In any case, your advice would be great at least in order to learn what can I do better next time.

Thanks.

You have low testosterone. All you did was talk and think when the girl wanted action.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

And that is the exact reason this girl is still talking to you.
Nobody like to babysit. Don't be the type of person that needs babysitting. Either join the conversation or roll out. Don't hang around waiting for your attention fix. It's uncomfortable for both of you.
This is the second "good" decision you've made for all the wrong reasons. You don't change plans because you've already made plans. Not because girls will lose attraction if you do. Yes, they will if it becomes a recurrence. But your reasoning is centered around the her. Not around yourself. That's still needy.
The first mistake was not making a move the first time she was at your place. No woman agrees to join a dude at his house without knowing what to expect. The whole point of escalation is to make her comfortable. If she's not open (uncomfortable) you simply take 2 steps forward, 1 step back. You don't just give up immediately. It's not always smooth sailing.
What was going on? From all this I can't tell if you even kissed her at this point. Did you? nevermind you shouldn't have brought this up in the first place, but if you didn't even kiss her it's even more counter-productive.
This isn't a shittest. This is the exact result you've been working on. This is what happens when you push-pull. And it's also why she wasn't "open", as you've put it. She likes you, but doesn't know where you stand. And no, it's not obvious simply because you asked her to stop playing around. Because you're the one playing around to begin with. You can tell her whatever you want, but ultimately, actions speaks louder than words. And your actions were contradictory.
All you had to do was be a little physically aggressive. Had you shown her you wanted her she'd have put all that frustration and sexual tension into fucking your eyes out. Gun was cocked. You just needed to pull the trigger.
Again with the talking.. dude, this is a shitload of unnecessary pressure. And you've not even hooked up yet. This is not fun. Nor exciting. It's psychically exhausting.
And what were you proposing anyway? Sex? relationship? date? more than friends can mean several different things. No wonder she said no.
First you have sex, then talk about having had sex. Not the other way around. You don't sign a contract, shake hands and stamp it with a kiss
Point is, never ask. It's always better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.

Also I really don't understand the logic behind the facebook block. When you block someone, specially after they've just rejected you, the first thought that pops in their head is anything but "Oh he just wants to talk face to face".
For the love of god just be normal. She asked you out. In your language. She's trying to be cute. Learn when to stop, you already went way overboard with being "gamey". And like I said, the only reason she's taking so much shit from you is because of your status, which is a powerful thing.
But I can guarantee you that one more shove is all you need and this girl is never talking to you again.

Next time you're all alone shut your mouth and make a damn move.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Thanks for the extensive analysis R.C., I appreciate it.

However the situation is a bit complex due to our surroundings. I worked my ass off to get into this program which serves as an entry ticket to highest places in my profession. People I interact with (including girls) are my future colleagues (plus most very posh) and I can not risk to much. I am saying this just to point out that I can not afford myself to try and then apologize. If it was different surrounding I would have escalated more aggressively much earlier.

I tried kino, but even the basic did not work (she would remove my hand and ask why I am so touchy).

I'll see what I will do and let you know.

I haven't read the original essay but this:
If you're gaming in risky environments, why not get the phone number and escalate on the date? It is possible to game a girl verbally, have them like you without having to making out & finger them in front of your career authorities ya know...

_________________
USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Dragula, the girl isolated with the OP in his apartment drunk and all the OP did was talk and think.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

_________________
USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

I do not know to many people who have't had a situation where they had a girl already at their place and then she changed her mind in the last moment. Pushing to hard in that moment can lead to too much trouble.

Even in a non-risky environment it is not my style to push every interaction until the end - there are situations where you should and others where you shouldn't. When you are about to see the girl every day for the next year I would not recommend being to pushy, because even if you get something it might hurt you on a long range. With a babe you pick from the bar it might be a different story.

I was actually hoping for more input on next possible moves, but thanks anyway.

Otherwise, I answered her message after 24h, said I am busy now but can make it at the end of the week. She agreed.

Why are you pursuing her if it's so "risky"? You're half assing it.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk. You talked yourself into the position that you're in. If you ask her, she'll take the option that is the best logical choice for her. If you take action, and she finds you attractive and there is sexual tension, she is going to follow your lead.

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

not risky, just sensitive so different approach from the usual game is needed. There are couple of guys already who handled their situations to clumsily and got the etiquette of creeps (mostly pushy game).

However I am not pursuing her at the moment, she invited me for drinks so I'll go and see. The thing is she is hot but I have other options so if it doesn't go anywhere won't be a big deal.

Every cure starts with a diagnosis. When you isolate this girl again to your place:

pua-lounge/topic172063.html

In the meantime, eat broccoli and oysters. Pump up some weights in the gym too.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

We are not the same kind of players, but whatever works best for you.

Your all talk and no action isn't working for you. Why come here and ask for advice in the first place if you don't want to fix the problem?

Oh, I see. You just want to talk about this and NOT take any action at all.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

No such thing. I've had sex with co-workers/colleagues and there was no "different" approach. You escalate, and when it's time to be a man and lead the interaction where you want it to go, you damn lead.

Actions are never judged independently of the man performing them. One dude may bring a woman flowers and she'll throw them in a corner, never to look at them again.
Another may give the same woman the same flowers and she'll do victory dances around the house. One is an overall attractive entity, the other is not. Their actions are the same.

Point being, you're not a creep unless you're a creep.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.