| Hi,
Been reading this forum a lot, nice threads. I have this sticky situation that I'm in and looking for advice.
Last year I've met this girl at my office. First thing I didnt notice her or give her any attention, but my whole office was. After a while we got to talking and we've had a great connection from the start. At this point I was in a 10yr relationship that was ending, so we talked about it a lot. After a month or so, past the break up, we started IM each other in a sexual context. So one thing led to another and we had sex on a occassion. A few days later we talked about it and since I was in a break up and she wasn't sure what our relationship meaned we became just friends. But we had so much contact that we grew to each other. At one point I confessed having feelings for her(bad timing) but she wasn't sure what here feelings where. So I tried to get closer to her but at one point after hearing the "not sure" story I was through with it. We hang out and kept IM eachother but I was really cool with the situation. Then at one day out of nowhere she kissed me. She told me she had feelings for me, and because I was so cool with the situation she was drawn to me.
So we had a great time hanging out, visiting other city's etc. But my breakup was eating me emotionally and I was looking for commitment and asking her for this. I was a wreck and turned into a wuss. So of course after a week of arguments about this issue she gave me the LJBF talk.
So I was on and off contacting her, because she works at my office we still had contact. She still got jealous when I was talking to someone else and even admitted it. So we had 2 months that our connection was really screwed up, no friendly talk only arguments and annoying stuff if I see her.
The emotional wreck in me died, I started working out and made some promotion at my job. After a while our contact became more frequent. Meanwhile I was seeing and banging other woman. So she started asking me for dinner and stuff. So of course I didnt tell her anything about the other woman before but she asked me. So I confessed seeing one girl in particular who has a boyfriend but who was having sex with me. She admitted she was having sex with a guy she knows for a long time and also has a girlfriend.
So from that moment she has been contacting me a lot again. But my feelings remain for her. This is an issue because how many times I screw someone else at the end of the day she's the one I want to be with. And see is still seeing this guy with a girlfriend that she want to let go but can't. So basically it's the same situation. But the more stronger her feelings grow for him Im feeling like the gayfriend guy in her life.
And I want out. But for some reason, when I distance myself from her she ends up calling me, messaging me, come looking for me at the office. So there is an emotional connection, I know she loves me a lot. She told me she cant imagine life without me a couple of times but the attraction is gone, where the other guy of course is getting her without making any commitment.
The other guy isnt exactly a PUA, but he is a narcist. She even admits it and knows this. He tells her he loves her, but does weird and sometimes just evil shit to her that could be in a "watch out for manipulative narcist" Guide. But I know negative emotions can create attraction with her, make her cry, yell at her, tell her she is an idiot and the idea of the power to cause that emotion to happen is pulling her strings.
If you were in my shoes, how would you act?
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CHAT
