Hi, so. This chick i'm with almost 10 months. She's a HB7, smart and everything, our relationship is literally awesome, I mean, we have fun always, good conversations, I can still feel the spark and tension, but...

Here's the problem. In the last three months or so, she plays hot-and-cold when it comes to sex. She sometimes asks me If I want to wait until marriage(we are both virgins, 20 years old), I said:" I don't know, but I won't lie to you, I want to have sex with you, so you don't have any wrong expectations".

Now, every time there is some upcoming event(By that I mean when we rent a apartment for few nights which we do occasionally) she's always super horny, saying things like: "I would like you to fuck me right now" or "when we come there(apartment), you and me alone I want you to bend me over the kitchen table and stick it up behind." Things like that, and when we are finally alone, we start of good, I escalate slowly, I drive her around, I control the situation, take her clothes off, great foreplay with sucking and licking and then when I try to "fingerbang" her or something she just makes unpleasant sound, and I stop and continue what was I doing this time trying more carefully(And yes, she was soaking wet and moaning) but yet again she doesn't want to proceed to sex.

The next day I wanted to talk about it, she said she wanted to wait till marriage because it would be special, but as the conversation continues she says things like I don't know what I want, I change opinions about it often and even I can't understand my body and my needs sometimes...

My mind was like WTF, I mean. She teases me with this 'hot-n-cold' approach. Sometimes I think to myself, if she would ever want to make anything sexual in near future(Which she will) I'll turn her down, because I feel it doesn't lead to anywhere which makes me frustrated and sad. Thanks for reading
Peace.

Tell her it's not being married that makes it special, it's who you do it with.

Personally, waiting until after marriage is not a good idea. It's likely to be a huge letdown when it doesn't meet all the expectations you have built up by then.

Grow a set.

It's ok to want to have sex. There's nothing wrong with it. If your gf uses sex to fuck with your head, you need a different girl. Because I guarantee you that she will do the same thing in marriage. Period. She will leverage it over you any chance she can get.

Think about it. When you are fully clothed and you are somewhere where you can't have sex, she tells you about how much she wants it, and as soon as you get her in bed she converts back in to a celibate innocent little angel? The only explanation that makes any sense is that she is messing with your head for some purpose. Either because she's trying to force you into marriage, or trying to get money out of you.

Analyze the situation. Do you have alot of money or a house that she wants to move into? Is she constantly getting you to pay for things? It wouldn't surprise me a bit.

If it were me I'd tell her that I'm the kind of guy that wants sex and doesn't play games. If she wants to stay a virgin until she's married then she's not the girl for me. And if she decides that she wants to be with you and have sex, the first time she messes with your head and leverages sex or tells you she's horny but then refuses to have sex I'd tell her that those games aren't something I'm into so maybe we should reconsider being together.

If a girl knows you don't put up with that shit, she stops doing it. Worst case scenario she leaves you and you don't have to put up with that crap anymore.

But the bottom line is that you need to respect yourself enough to be honest about what you want and what you won't tolerate. It's not being rude, it's not forcing her to do anything, but you need to be honest with yourself.

Fuck me, you're right. However, she's not a gold digger, in fact most of the times she pays, when it comes to let's say dinners, mcdonalds, tickets for movies and when it comes to money she's a giver, plus the fact that she, when I'm angry, even if I'm wrong she makes up for it, she makes huge effort to make me happy, she likes to write letters for me and never I mean never asked anything in return. However when it comes to marriage she talks a LOT, I mean A LOT about it, every 3rd, 4th day in average week she mentions the marriage talk, I don't know the definition of love, but I do love her, as she loves me... It's just this thing that irritates the shit of out me, this teasing in the beginning was sweat but it costs me more nerves every time she does it again. So, logically, at times like this I wonder if I'm considering to throw a way a pretty good relationship, because sex isn't on my n1 priority list either it's just frustrating when she fucks with my head this way, it makes me feel bad because I feel like a TOTAL AFC, while I do hold the upper hand trough the entire time in relationship and I always lead, It's something in last few years I learned to be, and it makes me feel like a pussy when I'm treated like one.

What's worse(or not), I would agree to no sex till marriage if she would stick with that decision.

Regards, AFC.

I think, as suggested, you need to take that attitude that you want sex and it's nothing to be ashamed of...own it. Let her know as was said, that it's not the when but the who that matters. Adopt this attitude and dont waver from it

I think partially she feels your wishy washyness, and once you fully own who you are and what you want it will have a positive impact on her thoughts about the situation. She might like getting you all worked up by saying sexual shit but more than a small part of her wants you to be man and do those things to her.

So get aggressive and see how she responds...obviously within the bounds of being consensual

That's fine.

If you are ok with no sex til marriage and thats something your down with ok, but that's not whats going on here. Whats going on here is mind games.

And I guarantee you that marriage isn't going to fix it.

I work as an engineer with an office full of "happily" married men. When you take them out and have a few drinks, the first thing you start to realize is that many of them married because either A: thats what society tells you to do, get married after dating a girl for a year or two or B: pressured in to it by a girl or C: They wanted to marry a girl because they didn't have any other girls to choose from and wanted to make sure she couldn't go anywhere.

And what else you hear is about how unhappy they are and how much their wives leverage sex over them, or their wives get fat and lazy.

This girl has trouble written all over her from what I've read so far. It's great that she's willing to pay but I've never met a girl that leverages sex like that who isn't truly a bitch deep down.

Just tell her that you don't plan to get married or you plan to get married at (insert number) age.
If she wants to stay a virgin until marriage she should let you sleep with other women to fulfill your sexual needs or you can stay friends and resume when the time is right for marriage.
Honest, non manipulative and gives her a chance to make her choices.

Any update on this situation?

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Bail.
Bail.
Bail.
Bail.
Bail.
Bail.



































Bail.
pls

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Yay. Updated. Not really, she's raised 90% catholic, believes in 'no sex 'till marriage thing'. I do to, kind of. But I wouldn't mind if we do it anytime soon. However, the worst thing is, I game other girls, and I could fuck other girls to(I don't want to sound egomaniac but I believe I do look good, and having PUA mentality for 3 years now I game other girls often so I don't get infected with oneitis), but I kind don't have a problem with waiting the marriage and I don't feel bad because of it(Weird right?).

What still bugs me is, she provoking me, or testing me? Because she tends to send not so random messages about how she would like me to fuck her, or texts describing how would she like to be fucked, where and how intense.

So... Comments?

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail.

Seriously though no sex until marriage is absolutely retarded. Know why? because there's a moderate chance you're not compatible. It's like buying a product having no clue if it fits your needs or not. Simply stupid.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Okay, I do agree with you. And I share your opinion, but how should I approach her with that idea? Any suggestions? Your input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

TBH I believe in a flying spaghetti monster and if you don't subscribe to that view EFF OFF!

News flash...Catholics have premarital sex...lots of it and don't follow any of the sermons on Sunday. How do I know? I'm Catholic.

From a psychological perspective, you have an abusive, mania "relationship," because she is manipulating you and your emotional needs are not being met. Check out Dr. Lee's Love Styles online for Mania. She has intimacy and honesty issues.

From an old man's perspective, a "relationship" is an abstraction. A man does not pursue or keep abstractions. A man conquers a mate. A man has love affairs, flings, romances, one nights, hookups, engagement, and marriages with a girlfriend, lover, paramour, tart, trollop, tramp, lady, confidant, fianceé, and wife. In all of those arrangements, the man is expected to perform. You performed. In all of those arrangements, the woman must perform. Your alleged fianceé has NOT performed by upholding her end of the bargain by tending to you sexually. This is the vow, "...to LOVE, honor, cherish...in sickness and in health...for richer or poorer...forsaking all others." If she can't uphold her vow to love you up as YOUR female right now, she will not after "I do."

Yes, you are in LOVE with her. You're the ONLY one in love. She is not in love with YOU, but with herself. She is selfish. She must go. That means NEVER, ever, talking to her again. She will call, write, etc, asking for forgiveness with Academy Award tears. If you take her back, be assured that she will see you as a weakling, will torment you mentally in revenge, and will betray you by fucking some other guy behind your back. Then will come the divorce, legal fees, alimony, child support to kids she trains to hate you, and division of property she didn't earn.

Once you get rid of her, rehabilitate yourself by understanding the steps in your life that led you to this place of torment. This forum has great discussion on how Naturals develop themselves.

Take it from a 49 year old man, 16 year marriage combat veteran, who's seen it all. You've been warned.

Women. They can be such a pain sometimes can't they? :p

She wants you to take the lead. When you hear things like 'I don't know what I want' it is an open invitation to 'suggest' something that she might want. In this case, what she wants (in my opinion) is for you to make the decision for her. She wants sex, she gets horny often, but some religion or social pressure has made her believe that marriage before sex is the way to go, and so she feels conflicted and hasn't chosen a side yet.

You could be the devil on the shoulder and keep talking rationally about why waiting until marriage is a waste of time, and that its the person you do it with that counts not the title of the relationship (i totally agree), however I believe i have a better suggestion:

Hire that apartment or private place on a day you know she will be free, and leading up until then (maybe for 4 day prior) dont meet with her, just talk over facebook or over the phone. You need her to agree to a little game, which will involve her not touching herself or watching porn (or doing anything that leads to sexual release, be it watching a rom-com or anything). Once she agrees, you better hope your phone game is good, because your mission is to get her hot and horny as often as you can. Girls are emotionally stimulated, so a well written series of texts can really get them wet. Words like 'desire' and 'delectable' should be flooding her phone. she sees a message with your name, reads 'I desire you so much right now baby, hop on facebook'. then hit her with your version of 50 shades of grey 'if you were here with me now, id pick you into my arms, wrap your legs around me as I push your back against the wall, trapping you between it and my hard chest. Id thrust my hips against you as i run my fingertips over your thigh' etc. etc. She at this point, should be getting pretty hot (I dont know your girl, how sexual she is or if she needs to masturbate etc. but this should get most girls turned on). After a few days of facebook banter and sexual phone calls, simply tell her you want to catch a movie or do some other activity that is nearby the apartment you booked. she will agree, as that is harmless enough, but once in person she should be ready for action. throughout the night, reignite the fire by using the environment as a cue for your stories. for example, before you walk into the cinema doors, stop her, pull her toward the wall and press her up against it (reenacting the story you wrote over facebook), or if its crowded, whisper in her ear 'if we had some privacy, id slam you against that wall etc etc. Now she is thinking of the story again, getting horny again, and wishing for some privacy so it can become a reality! Do this throughout the night, and if she doesnt force you to fuck her in the cinema (or other date location) she will be ready for it once back at the hotel room/apartment.

Extra notes: have a music playlist ready and waiting so once you walk in the apartment there is no awkward silences. slow sexy music fills the background. Have condoms ready. dont buy them while with her! have them at the apartment. some scented candles, flowers can melt the hearts of some girls, you be the judge of that. make sure you checked the apartment before you bring her to it, ensuring it is neat, smells good and has no distractions (like picture frames with a married couple in it, or jesus icons).

Now, once you are there, simply reenact the story you told, use lots of foreplay, tease her body, bite on her neck, suck on her stomach, lick up her thighs, rub around her pussy and once you begin breathing over it she should grab you by the hair and force you to taste her. take your time. you will know when she wants your face over her vagina once her legs naturally spread open while you are licking her thighs. now after eating her out for a while (maybe let her orgasm once, and build up her second one.... IMPORTANT, dont stop stimulating her after orgasm. slow down, play around the thighs and stomach again as her pussy will be more tender, but keep going until she wants you back on there again) you need to shuffle up so your groin is inline with hers. keep it seamless, kissing her body while your face get closer to hers, and once your cock is inline with her pussy, 99.9% chance she aint thinking about marriage. slide it in. she is wet, you are hard. she is near climax of her second orgasm. she really shouldnt say stop.

Sorry for the MASSIVE message, its just how i role

Hope this helps you out! give me the feedback if you try it or your thoughts regardless