I thought we were just friends with benefits but now I'm confused by how he's acting. Okay so he kind of wanted to date me but I screwed up now he says he doesn't want anything with me but he now he's acting weird. I live 2 hrs away FYI (I used to live in his city and all my friends are there so I go there almost every weekend to see them and if I have time I'll see him too). He asks for me to spend the night quite a bit lately.He was going through something and asked me to come over to keep his mind off of things and we just chilled while he laid in my lap and I rubbed his head, no sex, he tried I said no, then later I tried then he told me no so I just slept over. I left the next morning, he calls that night to ask me to come back I said no but I'd let him know when I would be back in town. Days later before I get a chance to even talk to him he calls and ask me when I'm coming back said I wasn't sure and but then he asked, then insisted that I come that night.

He is supposed to go out but instead for whatever reason stays in with me and we fall asleep cuddling, me sleeping on his chest. I stay until 4 pm the next day, leave and hours later he calls me and asks me to come back and see him before he goes out, I was with my friend and said I couldn't. He goes out that night he texts me drunk and says "come to me" then starts calling me to come over I say no then he starts saying how I need to come over "because I just want to hold you as I fall asleep" then asked "wait, are you with that guy right now. I'm getting pissed, you're my girl" then said that he wanted me to go to church with him the next day and is still asking for me to come see him but I still couldn't come over.

The next morning he texts me saying he wants me to go to church with him so I go (first time going with him) afterwards I say that I'm leaving and he pretty much starts begging me to stay saying he didn't want me to hang out just for 30 min just for me to leave and for me to stay. He says "I thought you wanted to spend more time together, I'm trying to and now you don't that's f*cked up". He tells me not to leave but to but do my work there instead so I could spend the night so I stay for a bit and he makes dinner, he tries to have sex I say no because I kind of was in a funky mood all day and he just asking me what was wrong said he wanted to know and that he could talk to me and then pulled me to him and he held me for a while and he kept asking me to spend the night again but decided to go home.

I'm confused, this doesn't seem like typical fwb behavior at least to me it doesn't. He gets jealous of other guys that I talk to. He keeps asking about this one guy in particular, tries to look into my phone, got mad because I was sending another guy a Snapchat while he was there, said "hmm you have a lot of guy friends". We even held hands (even though he was drunk) but he doesn't like to kiss much anymore which is throwing me off. My friends say they would never ask their fwb to go go to church with them, or ask their fwb to come over when they're down, and keep asking to see so much. He wants to know when I'm quitting my job (I'm trying to move up there).Even asked when he comes to my city do I want for him to see me (I said no because I just wasn't feeling how things were with us at the moment) They think he wants to be with me but is just being guarded right now because of how I kind of messed up things before and he doesn't trust me (when were initially dating a few months in, not exclusively, he found out that I was seeing 3 other guys in addition to him *not sleeping just dating* then backed off quite a bit), so he's proceeding with caution should I say. Does he truly see me as fwb or does he want more just not trying to get attached/being guarded? What's up with the lack of kissing thing? What's this guys deal?


**we met in November but I didn't have sex with him until March**

wtf read the writing on the wall... yes he likes you why else would he act like a needy/jealous little b

stop sending him mixed signals and make it clear one way or another what you want out of it. he should do the same. if he's dating other girls then he can't get jealous. if you want my advice, don't date a dude who gets needy like that. it shows he's desperate and doesn't have options. not the kind of guy girls want to be with.

also why are you fucking around with 3-4 dudes at the same time, when are girls going to understand guys don't want to be in relationships with girls who play the field like that. guys are very black and white, there are girls we just fuck and girls we take home to mom. you're free to do whatever you want but there's a reason needy boys like this are trying to date you instead of confident men.

_________________
You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

I'm not fucking other guys. At the very beginning, about two months in I was casually dating multiple guys. I was NOT sleeping with anyone, not even this guy. I had just gotten out of 5 year relationship and I just wanted to casually date (go to dinner, get coffee, etc.). I can't be faulted for that, that's what you're supposed to be doing when you're single just dating lol. He's only the third guy I've slept with and he knows that. So no, I don't get around lol. Now I'm dating as many guys. I am keeping my options open though. I mean it is FWB, it would be stupid not to keep my options lol.

See I thought he might have wanted more too. I just started considering wanting more.

I'm not too sure now. Sunday he kept asking me to spend the night then he looked into my phone saw that my guy friend wanted me to come over and asked if I was going to see him. I said I might, then he asked if I was going to spend the night with him and I said I might but probably not, to which he said well you can come back and spend the night if you want. I said no I'm just going to go then I left.


I didn't hear from all week which was weird. Finally called him yesterday . Finally talked to him and he tells me he doesn't want me to get attached. What the heck? Why in the world would he think that when he did all that stuff from the first post that I mentioned (kept asking to see me, getting upset about other guys, etc.)? Like it just doesn't make sense lol, so much so that I think he's lying because he knows that he's attached and doesn't think I want what he wants. Really how does he not want me to get attached when HE was doing all that stuff? Then he says "yea I just feel bad using you for sex", again what in the world? You just use me for sex but I go home two hours away, but you ask for me to come back that same night just for sex? Want to hold me in your arms as you fall asleep because it was just sex? Being almost clingy because it's just sex? Correct me if I'm wrong but I feel like he did too much for it to be just sex. Then I say how are you using me if we're both on the same page on what we do and don't want?

Then here comes the kicker, he said well there's someone else. I said oh when did you meet her, he said in December (we met in November). So I ask so was she out of town last weekend or something? Because remember before I even got a chance to let him know when I was coming back he called me at 3:30 that afternoon saying he wanted me to come up there, stayed there until 4 pm the next day, then he asked me to come over again only a few hours later then calls me again to come back spend the night, then wants to go to church the next morning, and tells me he's trying to work on spending more time together, tells me to do my work there so that I can spend the night. Any who he says the other girl conveniently went to a wedding that weekend. Then I asked why didn't he ask her over the week before when he was feeling down instead of me to which he replies "oh I think she was busy", again how convenient. The person you supposedly want is convenient so you ask your booty call instead of waiting for the girl you want? I know he has a best gf then why not ask her next instead of your fwb? Again I think he's just lying.

Also where was this girl the week before then when I spent the night the Saturday, Sunday, and he wanted me to come back that Monday and then begged to see me again days later? Then I mentioned the other guy that I had a date with a few weeks ago then he proceeds to ask me, "have you had sex with him? Did you blow him, did you kiss him?" If you really have this girl then what do you care?

I really do think he's lying. I know it seems crazy lol but I really do. I think he got hurt, chalked it up in his head that I don't want him and now he's trying to push me away and make me feel bad. Really based off my other post did that seem like a girl who was getting attached? Lol Even you mentioned how my behavior came off a certain way. Also I feel like if you truly had someone else you wouldn't care what your fwb is doing. I don't know I could definitely be wrong but I really do think he's lying.

I'm not fucking other guys. At the very beginning, about two months in I was casually dating multiple guys. I was NOT sleeping with anyone, not even this guy. I had just gotten out of 5 year relationship and I just wanted to casually date (go to dinner, get coffee, etc.). I can't be faulted for that, that's what you're supposed to be doing when you're single just dating lol. He's only the third guy I've slept with and he knows that. So no, I don't get around lol. Now I'm dating as many guys. I am keeping my options open though. I mean it is FWB, it would be stupid not to keep my options lol.

See I thought he might have wanted more too. I just started considering wanting more.

I'm not too sure now. Sunday he kept asking me to spend the night then he looked into my phone saw that my guy friend wanted me to come over and asked if I was going to see him. I said I might, then he asked if I was going to spend the night with him and I said I might but probably not, to which he said well you can come back and spend the night if you want. I said no I'm just going to go then I left.


I didn't hear from all week which was weird. Finally called him yesterday . Finally talked to him and he tells me he doesn't want me to get attached. What the heck? Why in the world would he think that when he did all that stuff from the first post that I mentioned (kept asking to see me, getting upset about other guys, etc.)? Like it just doesn't make sense lol, so much so that I think he's lying because he knows that he's attached and doesn't think I want what he wants. Really how does he not want me to get attached when HE was doing all that stuff? Then he says "yea I just feel bad using you for sex", again what in the world? You just use me for sex but I go home two hours away, but you ask for me to come back that same night just for sex? Want to hold me in your arms as you fall asleep because it was just sex? Being almost clingy because it's just sex? Correct me if I'm wrong but I feel like he did too much for it to be just sex. Then I say how are you using me if we're both on the same page on what we do and don't want?

Then here comes the kicker, he said well there's someone else. I said oh when did you meet her, he said in December (we met in November). So I ask so was she out of town last weekend or something? Because remember before I even got a chance to let him know when I was coming back he called me at 3:30 that afternoon saying he wanted me to come up there, stayed there until 4 pm the next day, then he asked me to come over again only a few hours later then calls me again to come back spend the night, then wants to go to church the next morning, and tells me he's trying to work on spending more time together, tells me to do my work there so that I can spend the night. Any who he says the other girl conveniently went to a wedding that weekend. Then I asked why didn't he ask her over the week before when he was feeling down instead of me to which he replies "oh I think she was busy", again how convenient. The person you supposedly want is convenient so you ask your booty call instead of waiting for the girl you want? I know he has a best gf then why not ask her next instead of your fwb? Again I think he's just lying.

Also where was this girl the week before then when I spent the night the Saturday, Sunday, and he wanted me to come back that Monday and then begged to see me again days later? Then I mentioned the other guy that I had a date with a few weeks ago then he proceeds to ask me, "have you had sex with him? Did you blow him, did you kiss him?" If you really have this girl then what do you care?

I really do think he's lying. I know it seems crazy lol but I really do. I think he got hurt, chalked it up in his head that I don't want him and now he's trying to push me away and make me feel bad. Really based off my other post did that seem like a girl who was getting attached? Lol Even you mentioned how my behavior came off a certain way. Also I feel like if you truly had someone else you wouldn't care what your fwb is doing. I don't know I could definitely be wrong but I really do think he's lying.

he waited for sex till march, 5 months...obviously he likes/liked you

again i have no clue why you are typing all this obvious shit. yes he likes you for more than a fwb and he's getting attached and he's hurt/worried that you're not getting attached because he's insecure. if you were my fwb i wouldn't text or call you other than to just have some fun then i'd have you out asap and carry on with my day/night. he might have another girl but it's not working with her so he's getting scared and trying to tie you down on the side to be his gf in case it doesn't work with her. aka not secure with being alone. or he's just making her up to make you jealous so it doesn't look like he's sitting on his ass all day waiting for you while you go around dating 3-4 guys. that's my guess since, as you pointed out, suddenly he's bringing other chicks up out of nowhere once he goes through your phone and sees you're spending the night with other guys.

the funny thing is you're considering being with him because he's being bold and a lil romantic inviting you over to cuddle at night and shit and then disappearing for a while, and now when he says he's got another girl it's actually a good move on his part because it causes an emotional response from you and you start wondering if it's true. he kinda gets what he's doing but he's not really gaming you correctly, which is why you're wondering wtf is going on with him and "considering" dating him instead of immediately wanting to date him.

just don't string him along if you don't want to date him. i know chicks say shit to one guy believing it's true and then a new guy comes along and suddenly they disappear, lots of guys these days are sensitive as shit and that can hurt them for months sometimes years.

_________________
You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

Well now it's turned to sh*t

So after he said all that stuff me (last thing I told you, the other girl, not get attached) I just completely left him alone because it's just too messy for fwb. Two weeks go by and this past Friday he calls me drunk saying how he missed me, how it feels like we haven't seen each other in months and asked why haven't we talked in two weeks and wanted to know if I was with that guy that I mentioned above. Then he says "when you lay next to me it just feels right", "I just want to hold you in my arms as I fall asleep" (he said that drunk to me 2 weeks before too) "I just miss talking to you, we don't even have to have sex I just want to talk" and how he needed to see me and how we have this connection and that he wanted me to come over to talk about us and our situation. Finally he said he just wants to see where this goes with us. The next day he texted me saying he was drunk and I said ok and he asked if I was mad, I said nope and the he asked what he said to me the night before and I replied oh nothing much then he calls me to ask again if I was mad and why I was being so short. So that night I get drunk and text him and said he really pisses me off, to which he replies ok. Then he calls me the next day and I explain to him he's just so wishy washy and I'm just over the situation and told him what he said when he was drunk, (how he said he missed me and wanted to see me) but not everything. He said he said that because he was being an a**hole. I guess he's disregarding the things he had said when he called drunk. Meanwhile he's still asking about that other guy, "did you sleep with him? did you blow him?" "how many dates did you guys go on?" etc.

So last night I get drunk and text him this

"Look I'm drunk right now so I need to get this off my chest.

Look I've to be honest here because this is just getting to be too much. Like I said I really do feel like your actions aren't matching your words. I know you said you were drunk when you said all those things but I also know when people are drunk they usually speak how they feel.

I could be wrong but I feel like we're both interested in each other but I feel as though you don't truly believe that I am, hence the wishy washy behavior. To be honest I felt like you told me not to get attached because you're attached and so you're trying to put it on me. Well that's not that the case because I feel the same. I know you don't want to be vulnerable bc neither do I hate bc I hate it that's why I didn't want to come over last week week bc I was so pissed with you.

I know you said you wanted to see where this goes and honestly so do I.

our communication sucks big old balls but whatever but I know pride is a mofo especially for me so whatever you have to say and you dont feel the same timeI'll take for face value and not try to analyze anymore and I'll just be done really this time"

He says "thanks for being honest I don't feel the same way sorry"

:/