Hello everybody.

I have a problem, wich i hope some of you can help me with. I have an ex-girlfriend who i had a relationship with for three years. I found out she was cheating on me for a long time. When i found out, this really crushed me. I broke up with her but i was broken for a long time. After this i met another girl. We have been dating now for about 9 months. She told me she hated cheating, and would never do it to me. And if she ever did, she would tell me. In the beginning everything was great, she was the one chasing me, texting me, calling me. Recently this changed and i became the one to chase her. I became the needy, overly attached boyfriend.

One of the reasons for this happening, is that i have alot of trust issues. This is also because of my ex-girlfriend cheating on me. I get upset alot, and have this crazy thoughts about my new girlfriend also cheating on me.
Example: yesterday she didn't respond to my text messages but was online on facebook. Later i saw she had a converation with another guy on facebook (unrelated to te previous thing) and i went crazy, it was just a normal conversation with a guy who lives in the same building (all students) about normal stuff, so this was stupid from my part. She almost never responds right away anymore like she used to. I just have this bad gut feeling really fast, and because i was correct with my ex-girlfriend, i hope im not correct now.

I'm afraid this kind of behaviour from me is gonna kill the relationship. Did anyone have the same thing? How did you get over it? I don't want to be this overly jealous controlling guy.

Ex girlfriend cheated on you...

Now, you don't trust yourself. IF you trusted yourself, you'd also trust whether your partner is being faithful to you or not.

This likely has nothing to do with your current partner.

If you want to deal with this, start with learning to trust YOURSELF again, only then can you then begin to trust others.

How do you do this? Go into your body and give space to the feelings you're experiencing. When you feel anger, what does that feel like in your body? Does it have a texture, a smell? Maybe it feels like a hot/flush sensation in your face, your shoulders tense up, or you have a heaviness in your chest. The more vivid the description the better. As odd as this may sound to you it is helping you build that mind body connection so you learn to sit in your body more and be present and in-touch with your experiences from moment to moment.

You have put her as the center of your universe and every little thing she does will make you freak. You have to find your higher purpose in life and stay true to who you are, just as the above post mentions. When you focus on that she will begin to become attracted again.