GF kissed another man. Advice?



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kravnos
PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 4:14 pm 
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Looking for advice in what to do in this situation. thanks. We've been together over a year and everything was perfect before this.

Here's a brief background of what happened; Her mom had an office xmas party and one of her younger mid 20s coworkers couldn't attend with his GF so she invited my GF to come to the party as his date to spend time with her daughter as the ticket was already purchased. I was told she was just going to her mom's xmas party, no mention of the guy and being his date. They go, drink, dance, party, at one point they go out to the parking lot to do shots and on the way back in he kissed her and she let him. Night ends, and doesn't tell me what happened and claims shes hungover and feels sick. She continued to text him in my bed beside me the day after....

Here's their conversation I was able to grab off her phone. (normally don't do this but in this situation I want to know the truth)
Code:
[b]> means she sent it to him < means he sent it to her[/b] 30.11.2014 06:03 PM: > Kris: Nicks on tv 30.11.2014 06:05 PM: < Kris: Hahaha Spock....I'm going to have to point it out to him 30.11.2014 06:21 PM: > Kris: He could totally pull that off for Halloween 30.11.2014 06:24 PM: > Kris: Also, I want to say sorry for last night, you're really funny and sweet and good looking, so that being said I don't want to fuck up your relationship or anything 30.11.2014 10:20 PM: < Kris: Hey sry I was at the gym. There's no reason for you to be sorry. I had a great time you last night and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't very attracted to you. Your gorgeous and really cool to be around. 01.12.2014 12:00 AM: > Kris: So jealous you have time to go to the gym! 01.12.2014 12:02 AM: > Kris: Have you ever cheated on your girlfriend before? 01.12.2014 07:13 AM: < Kris: No I haven't cheated on Julia before but I have in my previous relationship many years ago. I'm no saint by any means. 01.12.2014 08:13 AM: > Kris: Damn I was hoping I wasn't the one that made you break bad because from what I remember we kissed 01.12.2014 08:22 AM: < Kris: Ya you have a bad influence on me but that my fault not yours 01.12.2014 08:30 AM: > Kris: Do you still feel the same way you did Saturday or was it because you were drunk 01.12.2014 08:30 AM: > Kris: Also does anyone know 01.12.2014 08:33 AM: < Kris: To be honest I feel what I felt but at the same time I want to do the right thing. No one knows really...Nick knows some details 01.12.2014 08:38 AM: > Kris: Yea I know what you mean, it's hard to shake off 01.12.2014 08:40 AM: > Kris: Like all of it totally unexpected because I've never had that feeling the entire time I've been with Tom it's so weird 01.12.2014 08:42 AM: < Kris: I can relate to that, especially since I just met you and it all happened so quick 01.12.2014 08:44 AM: > Kris: I kinda felt like I already knew you my mom talks about you all the time 01.12.2014 08:46 AM: > Kris: Didnt know you were that handsome and had the same obsession with assassins creed that I do, I still might love it more though 01.12.2014 09:07 AM: < Kris: Lol I'm positive you love it more. I kinda phased out of gaming over the years. I'm a huge adrenalin junkie thou more so now 01.12.2014 09:16 AM: > Kris: Explains the motorcycle 01.12.2014 10:07 AM: > Kris: I think that to solidify that nothing is going to happen between us, because if we're going to do the right thing we should be doing that right? 01.12.2014 10:07 AM: > Kris: I should tell tom, 01.12.2014 10:08 AM: > Kris: Because by not saying anything would mean we have more to hide is my logic 01.12.2014 10:28 AM: < Kris: I think that's the right thing to do even thou it doesn't feel that way. I don't know about you telling Tom but it's not my place. My opinion would be not to just to not roughen the relationship. I personally don't plan on telling Julia. If it's possible I would really like to be friends 01.12.2014 10:38 AM: > Kris: I'm weighing the pros and cons right now and I'm not afraid to be alone, I'm good with or without him, I think he'll get over it though 01.12.2014 10:41 AM: > Kris: But yes I agree on being friends 02.12.2014 05:09 PM: < null: Have you seen the movie "what if" 02.12.2014 08:19 PM: > null: No, what's it about? 02.12.2014 08:24 PM: < null: Well I asked cause I saw it yesterday and it made me think of us meeting lol. It's shot in the gta as well. Give it watch when you have some time, it's somewhat of a chick flick. 02.12.2014 08:59 PM: > null: Lol that's sexist kris I like action movies too 02.12.2014 09:00 PM: > null: What If (2013) Anonymous Wallace, who is burned out from a string of failed relationships, forms an instant bond with Chantry, who lives with her longtime boyfriend. Together, they puzzle out what it means if your best friend is also the love of your life. 02.12.2014 09:00 PM: > null: Hahaha just read the synopsis 02.12.2014 09:31 PM: < null: Hahaha I downloads and was glimpsing thru it & the only reason I decided to watch the whole thing was cause of the different parts of Toronto I recognized in it, without knowing the synopsis. End...


Last edited by kravnos on Fri Dec 12, 2014 3:29 am, edited 2 times in total.

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CharlesFinley
PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 4:22 pm 
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Next...

She'd be done, if that were me.

She did it. Didn't tell you, and she's now talking behind your back to the guy.

He also sorta sounds like he may be manipulating her a bit... He's totally fucked around on that Julia girl before...
Quote:
01.12.2014 10:28 AM: < Kris: I think that's the right thing to do even thou it doesn't feel that way. I don't know about you telling Tom but it's not my place. My opinion would be not to just to not roughen the relationship. I personally don't plan on telling Julia. If it's possible I would really like to be friends
That's the line right there... I'd really like to be friends... And he's not telling Julia - so he's indicating he can be discreet.

You've also had a number of other 'trust-based' threads on this forum related to this girl... This isn't the first time you've suspected her of doing shady shit... and it's not the first time you've gone through her phone either.

If you can't trust her, you shouldn't be in a relationship with her. Period.

My 2 cents.
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Cross De Lena
PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 4:54 pm 
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CharlesFinley says it right.

If she is capable of or/and putting herself in a situation on purpose where she knows hanging or texting with other guys can jeopardize your relationship it means she doesn't value it enough to protect it. I believe everyone is aware when they feel attracted towards other person, that's normal, but dude, I would seriously consider leaving her, you shouldn't even bother explaining yourself, trash her number, delete her fb or whatever and go do some other interesting things in your life.

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southern_gentlemangq
PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:34 pm 
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bruh don't EVER trust that friend shit, i know it's wrong but i've been the "friend" before and my girl had "friends" before....i caused ALOT of girls to cheat on their boyfriends with me (i didn;t know they had BF's) and most of my GF's cheated on me with the same folks they called their friends

but yea i probably would break up with her, not only because she didn't tell you but because she's still talking to this guy

girls tend to have guys there for a back up plan. Also for some reason they love fucking up other girl's relationships. IDK why but if she was able to kiss another guy and text him before texting you i would be worried and leave................that's just me tho

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breedlove465
PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:45 pm 
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I could maybe get over it if she was just out with her friends, got drunk and a guy came up and kissed her and it happened quick and she was immediately sorry about it.

In this case, she went to a party, knowing she was being set up with a guy, got drunk with him (supposedly) and kissed him. She knowingly went behind your back and went out on what was essentially a date. And purposefully hid it from you.

You need to get out. Go get other girls.
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neo87
PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:50 pm 
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Only read the first few exchanges. This is cheating on you. Leave.
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kravnos
PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 8:08 pm 
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I have posted other threads before but they have been with different girls, I have had a few different GFs in the last couple years. Last thread may have been the same girl but it's so far in the past it's not really relevant to this situation. I try and structure my relationships better and more rewarding with each one so things like this don't happen again.

The consensus seems to be to dump her, so i've confronted her and told her it's over i'm done but she will not leave. I said ill call the cops and have her removed and physically escorted her towards the front door but she will not leave. Physically will not leave... claiming it was nothing.
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southern_gentlemangq
PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 10:03 pm 
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ask her why she didn't tell you? ask her why she agreed to go, aske her all these questions then ask can you have time to think it over, and if she doesn't leave then you KNOW it's over

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kravnos
PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 11:53 pm 
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she said she didn't tell me because she didn't want me to worry because her Mom said he's practically married and been with his GF for years. Obviously I would have objected to her being someone elses date for an Xmas party...

and she said that she said No three times before giving in and saying yes to her mom.
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neo87
PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 12:25 am 
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This girl obviously doesn't care about you or your relationship. The text messages should be enough to walk away.
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unknownpoet
PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 12:30 am 
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I would be careful to put that on internet. you might want to put a "code" tag on it since web crawlers might get it and be searchable.

anyway, my advice is, game her mother. f close. show a pick to her saying you don't want to screw your relation. then move on to a much better gf.
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Ctrlindustries
PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 12:51 am 
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The trust is gone. As much as its a hard thing to do, if you value honesty and it is one of your core values, you need to leave.
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kravnos
PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 3:32 am 
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Yup. And after all this, she's still talking to him... after explicitly saying it was nothing, deleting his # from her phone, deleting off fb.

I can't even comprehend this shit. She just took his # and still sends messages. lmao.

I'm done.
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oceanx
PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 11:35 pm 
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Quote:
Yup. And after all this, she's still talking to him... after explicitly saying it was nothing, deleting his # from her phone, deleting off fb.

I can't even comprehend this shit. She just took his # and still sends messages. lmao.

I'm done.
Good decision. Next!
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veryconfused
PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2015 9:08 pm 
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Keep the girl around for long enough to find out enough info about the guy so you can come up with a plan to ruin his life. Then ditch the girl. Then ruin the guy's life. That's what I'd do.
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