i know poor me. but hear me out.

I met this girl in July and we hit it off right away, she's super attracted to me, we fucked a few weeks later and have been on the roller-coaster since.

shes extremely sexual, loves it rough, wants it all the time, all that good stuff.

the inevitable happens, and I find out that just weeks prior to me, her on-and-off ex of 7 years had cheated on her with some ho in Brazil while there for world cup. my girl says this totally crushed her and she felt super disgusted blablabla. she also says they're now dating seriously and she had known about this girl for a while but didn't think twice about it since shes not the jealous type.

then i also find out in between this ex of hers she had two FWB (probably more then that but she claims 2.) she reassures me that it was her who didn't want more and she just knew what she wanted and wanted to focus on herself and not be in a relationship. plus i'm sure she obviously still had feelings for the ex the entire time.

so the talks ended there but the next day i started thinking about it, and theres 2 things that im concerned about that I trust this mighty forum can help me with.

1)the ex. shes probably majorly scarred and has baggage from this guy. i saw a pic of him, tall good looking athlete type. my girl is pretty hot herself. she said shes glad hes happy with the new girl and is over it but we all know thats major BS. she hasnt shown any signs though of anything bad/wrong in regards to this topic.

2)the FWB/high sex drive thing. i don't know why but it kind of irks me to think that a girl can enjoy fucking some guy over some months/years without having feelings for them or wanting more. it is obviously because she enjoys sex. and who doesn't i get that but, i guess i never thought I would be with a girl who was like that. ive traditionally always dated women who were more pure and emotional when it comes to sex. i.e. if they have sex with someone its because there's emotions involved.

this scared me because it makes me think that she could cheat rather easily if shes not sexually satisfied with me. and i dont think she ever will be because she wants it all the time.

also her wanting it super rough and all that, I also started thinking about what kind of things these FWB were doing to her which is more of a minor issue but also still fcking with my psyche.

advice?

thanks

Well if you aren't pure, you can't expect to get a pure girlfriend. I mean come on. There is such a thing as natural/divine justice.

This is you: What exactly are you expecting from your girlfriends when you are like this. You need to face reality. Your girlfriend is probably not very different from you.

LOL is that what you do? dig you past posts to prove random points? yea a man should sow his oats i still agree with that statement.

a women does not neet to because she is built differently

LOL... if she doesn't "neeT" to ... I agree then ... LOL

anyone wanna answer my op or not

If she is not into sex you won't like her.. if she is into sex she intimidates you.
Do you know what you want?
The issue lies with you. Not her.

Do you have scientific evidence for your nonsense theories or did you just make those up? A man sets the example for his girlfriend/wife. That is one of the biggest aspects of leading in the relationship. If you have such absurd philosophies about life (which somehow apply to men but not to women), how can you expect your girlfriend to be a pure angel? You are not setting the correct example for her. You're a bad leader and a poor teacher.
Exactly. The biggest issue is, he believes in different standards for men and women. The logical guys on this forum do not think like the OP. If you think it's fine for you to sleep around or to love sex, you cannot turn around and say your girlfriend is not allowed to do the same. It's totally illogical and OP can't even see that. He is judging her based on what she did before he got with her, when he would have done the same things himself. It's a bizarre way to think.

In my experience women either like sex or they don't. We want the ones that do, right? Well, if they like it then they're going to have it.
Question is how they go about getting it...

She had regular sex partners instead of fucking around with a ton of dudes. This is sensible in many aspects, mostly because sex tends to be best for women with a partner who knows their individual sexual hacks... also mentionworthy reasons are: Avoiding sex diseases, securing the emotional needs without the responsibility towards a partner, reducing risk of oneitis on random guys (a big problem for women who are on the lookout for a suitable partner!) and of course the privacy /discretion of having fewer, but steady sex partners rather than fucking the whole town lol...

Your girl is smart.
You need to get real about the girls you want to be with... Nobody likes a prune.


Anyway, if your girl truly has been with some other guys and it's been awhile since the ex thing, I'd say she's probably telling the truth. She has fucked him out of her system and at some point she began screening guys as suitable partners and chose you.

If she hasn't already shown any signs of drama or issues on the matter she probably won't. Girls tend to freak in the beginning of the relationship when it's all new and insecure.
Next obstacle is when she talks about moving in together, babies and that crazy shit haha...

And by the way, as long as you satisfy her more or less she'll stick by you if she's monogamous.
You don't have to fuck her every time she wants it if you don't want to, suspense is good. Turn it into a roleplay where you are a major tease and she has to "fight" for you - make her 'pick you up' all over again. Keep the attraction lvl high, and fuck her long and hard when she's going out to party with her friends. Make her feel you between her legs all night (because you fucked her like she likes it) and she won't even consider letting another guy close lol.

I write this because you could be the jealous type of guy who fears that a high sex drive = cheating. But that's not the case, not always anyway. Just be smart about it then it's no problem at all.

If you want a freak in bed, this is the kind of stuff you're going to have to deal with. You gotta get out of your head a bit. You're imagining her past fwb's doing all the crazy things she asks you to do to her. But that shit is in the past and you gotta let it go. She loves sex, and like darkholme said, the alternative was her running through a random guy every weekend. Instead she responsibly picked a couple trusted guys, who she'd probably been sleeping with for years in order to quench her sexual thirst. Then she met you and cut them off. If she's hot, she absolutely could have boyfriended either one of the dudes, she chose not to like she said. She started fucking you, and chose to enter into a relationship with you, unlike the others.

And if you want a girl who doesn't come with sexual baggage (like your exes), then be prepared to not have a freak in bed who gives you sex twice a day and is probably more willing to do uncommon things (anal, threesomes etc). I've been with both types and its a trade off man. Good girls have a clean sexual record and give you nothing to worry about, but sex is not very important to them. In which case your dick loses. Freaks give you all the sex you can handle, watch you fuck other women, blow you in the car etc, but you have to think about her doing all that crazy shit with the many guys shes been with before you. Again, it depends on whats most important to you, peace of mind, or pussy.

With that said you will need to keep her sexually satisfied or she will cheat on you and or dump your ass. Just keep the sex very frequent, ask her about things she wants to try in bed, and keep pushing her sexual boundaries. And obviously cut out all the beta thoughts you're having or risk her catching on to them. And do not tell her how you feel or ask her about any of this again! Her past guys are not your concern. If and when you think something going on you can bring it up but until then leave it alone and try not to think about her ex bending her over and pulling her hair

Well now he has that image in his head to contend with

At the end of the day if you can't handle something don't be in it. You're in the relationship so if something matters to you that's what matters.

Truth is, ex of 7 years on and off, this may just be one of their off times. She's most likely not over him. To the cheating thing, don't be with someone if you don't trust them. If there are red flags (goes out to get drunk alot, hangs out with old fwbs or things to be suspicious of) be wary.

thanks for the advice. some valid points made, especially about the trade off between a "clean good girl" versus one more sexually liberated.

this girl is actually an amazing breed, very "good" in terms of values, principles, morals, independent, knows what she wants, etc, (from what I've witnessed thus far) but is a sexual freak. its the best of both worlds I guess. BUT even the part of her being so independent, I feel like she doesn't need me as much as a "needier" girl would.

she doesn't call during the weeks, she usually wants to meet up cuz shes horny. I somehow feel like im being used even though I know im not. we still hang out and do the boyfriend/girlfriend type of crap (she had me over for thanksgiving and i met her entire family) but its almost as though I'm dating a guy friend or something. she's not the epitome of an emotional sensitive female that I always thought I would end up with.

there was some study about needy girls vs independent ones, and the study said in the end needier women tend to make better partners because they get more attached and wont pack their shit and leave if the relationship goes through a year+ dry spell.

i feel like this girl would bounce at the drop of a hat if shit goes sour. i question her commitment level i guess and her dealbreakers (such as sex). I know its all up to me and comes down to what i want. but whats weird is that my last GF was the EXACT POLAR OPPOSITE of this one. super needy, had no sexual desire, called me 24/7, became super attached. and at the end of that relationship i felt like i would do anything for that "independent" type of girl LOL.

grass is always greener..

Exactly. And yes i know you'd probably prefer a girl who's right in the middle but that's just not what you have. Understand that you probably wont marry this girl but she's hot and giving you all the sex you can handle, and for now, she's loyal to you alone. Enjoy it, fuck her as often as possible, try to get her into threesomes or try to fulfill other fantasies of yours that only a girl like this will be down for. Take advantage of it and when you get sick of her not being needy or emotionally attached enough (or when another girl like that comes along), dump her.

Update on this topic:

i found out shes slept with 11 dudes. im not sure what to think about it, i guess its not that many for a 26 yr old attractive female with a high sex drive. 2 FWBs, 3 relationships, 1 ONS, and 5 one-offs (she described them as friends who you would fuck once and never again or mini relationships). Is this number too high?

but aside from that, I asked about if her FWBs hang out with her or ever reach out to her and one guy has been and shes told shes seeing someone.

i just dont know if I will be able to handle her past. i have this weird feeling of jealousy mixed with a feeling of not getting something pure. she told me her last FWB was really rough with her and thats where she learned that she loved rough sex blablabla. it just makes me sick when we're having sex and shes yelling "pound me, pound me harder" that she learned that from someone else and not from me. how do you guys deal with this kind of shit?

i also wonder what else shes done, like has she swallowed ? (probably yes). has she had a threesome? (probably yes). has she had a guy cum on her face? (probably yes). has she had anal ? Yes, i asked her, the other stuff I haven't asked her and wont.

but how do you deal with this? I feel like I have to do extremely nasty things with her to feel like I'm experiencing something new with that shes never had before. I also feel like i have to do those things to "equate" to the other things shes done or match them somehow. it makes me feel inadequate or that im missing out or that some other fucking guys have had her way with her and i'm just the beta loser who gets the used up girl now that shes "ready to settle for a nice guy". definitely need some help on this