| look at the first sentence of the author's own bio for crying out loud:
"Jen is a fabulous twenty-something whose friends are all married or having babies while she just keeps getting more and more awesome."
aka slutting it up.
she mentions the fear of meeting someone new in a culture of "pumping and dumping." obviously she's been pumping and dumping a good bit herself. and i guarantee you *plenty* of guys showed her some old fashioned chivalry and were promptly nexted. and the few alpha guys who crushed her and moved on made her bitter, hence this post on wishing those guys would be nicer to her.
i read somewhere a perfect description of why it isn't advantageous to be chivalrous in our era. the basic summary was, back in the day, men fucking killed everyone and beat the shit out of everything. if you were a woman, you were literally less valuable than the dirt you were standing on. so knights, the most bad-ass, strongest men, could show a woman chivalry, and that would actually mean something, since they were the guys most able to beat the shit out of them, rape them, etc.
these days, western men are basically big pussies compared to our ancestors. and there's no constant threat of getting raped or killed. instead, society is brimming with nice, chivalrous guys. so now the opposite is true. the assholes, the guys who are cocky and don't do any of this shit she mentions, are the guys girl chase and want to be with. and the chivalrous beta males are the guys who women constantly reject because there's no proof that these guys are strong, vicious, man-killing knights who can protect them.
that being said, doing this sort of thing once in a while for a longterm girlfriend doesn't hurt. if you're in love with your girlfriend, it's nice to show her that now and then. i've saved the last bite of food, held the door (dramatically so as to tease her), kissed her on the forehead... but filling up her gas tank? walking on the outside of the sidewalk? randomly sending flowers? nope. doesn't help you at all.
i personally used to do all of that chivalry shit when i was dating chicks in high school, and it wasn't until i started cutting it all and being a cocky, selfish flirt that i had women all over me. relationships do differ, though. i'd say do enough to keep her comfortable and trusting in your longterm worth, but not so much as to overwhelm her and thus numb her to it.
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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.
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CHAT