Hey guys,

So I've been in a relationship with this girl for about a year now. The first 8 months were so perfect and priceless, but since then, it's been slowly going downhill. Increasing frequency of drama, mostly from her, and largely due to the fact that she doesn't feel I give her enough of me. We spoke on the phone two days ago, and I think we're both at the point that we need to make a decision whether it is worth continuing. Emotionally, I want to hold on to her. The thought of losing her breaks my heart to think about... but logically, my head is screaming at me to end it and move on (for many reasons in addition to what I have said here).

Has anyone been in this situation before? What decision did you make and are you glad you did so? When a relationship gets rocky, what should you fall back on - logic or emotion?

Thanks all.

hmm this is a bit more elevated, abstract thinking than the usual stuff you'll get around here...


i personally believe it is easier for a man to control his emotions and do the logical thing than it is for him to follow his emotions when he knows doing so is illogical.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

Your relationship balance is fucked up.

The drama from her is a sure sign that YOU are fucking something up. You can't act like a standoffish mysterious player when your in a relationship. It's tricky because you still have to maintain your value, and not come off as needy when you open yourself up to her emotionally.

Relationship balance has 2 spectrum. Power and compliance is one. Neediness and value is on the other. Barring any inconsistencies of your personality or anything you may have left out of this post your problem appears to be in the neediness/value spectrum.

The more power you have the more compliance she gives. The more valuable you are to yourself and others the more needy she becomes of you.

Her being needy of you does not mean that she is nagging you to give her more of you. Her being needy means she needs you. The nagging stems from a lack of communication.

When arranging your relationship you don't have to balance these spectrum. Just make sure you and her have a clear UNDERSTANDING of where the relationship stands.

Hopefully I'm not confusing you. It's hard to explain this in a short post. When you aren't "giving yourself to her" if she means while you're in her presence, and she feels like you're standoffish, then be more present you don't have to adjust anything. You're just displaying poor game, and not acting like the guy who seduced her to begin with. Thus it's all your fault.

If she means you don't spend enough time with her then you have to make her understand and accept that other people need you. I don't personally know what you do while not hanging with your girlfriend though, but still. She doesn't understand that your time is needed by others or yourself to take care of your "projects". Thus it is also all of your fault.

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I am a hunter of human excellence. I seek out those individuals who break the norms
and demonstrate to all of us what’s really possible. I learn what those few
extraordinary individuals do that’s different from everybody else, and then emulate
them.