Hello! This will be a weird and long post probably, but I would really appreciate it if you took the time to read this, it will help me a lot if you could set my mind straight and another view on this thing.
Well, ofcourse this is about a girl…But not any girl. As you can say dream girl, yea, big words, but it is true. The second time we first saw each other, we got together. It is weird but it just felt so right, and later on I found out that we share common dreams, goals and achievements. She did everything, and thus making me a better person, and happy. We were this amazing team, and after a year went by, we still had the exact same spark that we had in the beginning. You know what I men right?
So in that time, a lot of stuff happened, I joined the army and fights, death, and bad things happened to our families. It was a bad year. I was not there to support her, and I had no strength to do anything when I got home when I had the chance. She started fading, and I knew. Still I was weak, and I thought she could endure uintill I was done in the army before I did something, but as all good things come to an end this did too. I did not whine or complain about it, because I knew it was my fault. This was nothing I have been with my fair share of women out there, and I could handle this easy as fuck. But things got worse, I couldn’t manage myself, stuck in the navy out in the ocean, made me think, I missed here, but why? I could not find anything wrong with here, oh man I tried. I became obsessed with her, so I started to flirt with the women crew onboard and with women when we were at shore. I constantly found a new girl to find the one thing I had with her, it didn’t work, I was so mean. I manipulated women did everything to try to shape them to be as my ex, but each time I failed, I found a new and tried, in the end I felt so bad for them, how could I be the thing I hated the most?
So I stuck with the last girl I found, she seemed decent. And some weeks later I met my ex again. Keep in mind; I still had my mind on her I cant describe my feelings for her…. So I met her, and we started to chat, catch up, it was good, I felt great, I felt awesome. Therefore, I dumped the girl I was dating and started focusing on my ex again, as It turned out, she still had feelings for me. Please keep in mind, these was unique feelings, and I can promise you, I will never feel them again, I am sure this is love. Therefore, we started talking, dating a little bit, and then we both moved. She moved to the other side of country to study dancing, and I moved to the other side to study engineering. We agreed we should meet when we both were home and be “special friends”. Ya, It would’ve seem like a dream but I wanted more than that. So we agreed that we had each other, no one else. We would not go official about it. We are not together, we have agreed on terms that we are to have each other, meet up when we have the chance and take things slowly. Sure, this worked, it was really hard for me tho, to keep myself from giving her my entire hearth. So lately, we have met when I am home and she is. But it feels like when we meet, she is rejecting me, she doesn’t want to kiss, only cuddle, she doesn’t prioritize me and she is being weirdly cold towards me, this has continued so long now that I’m beat. I know she is the one but it so difficult now, I haven’t seen her in 1 month, and when I first met her yesterday she refused to give me even a kiss, or sex!. She says it goes to fast, but how can it? When I haven’t seen her in one month?
I am so tired of this, should I give up? Should I work harder? What should I do? I really do not know, I don’t want to have this constant feeling, but I never want to lose her, I want to share my future and goals with her. However, I am so close now to drop out, is she really worth it? Is love worth this? Why the fuck am I so emotional when im with her?

Thank you for reading:)

Now, after looking at these two things you said, please explain to me why you are expecting this girl to ever trust you again? Do you think people enjoy getting screwed over? You are emotionally unstable, you will mess the girl up if she allows you. Please get some help.

Young lady, I think you should've stopped after the first phrase. It is clearly a misunderstanding here. I have never cheated on her, never looked at another girl. This time I was with other girls, we had broken up. I was single then, and so was she. I could never do anything to hurt this girl

You really are not thinking straight. You said that "it was your fault". But, you know, do whatever you want because you aren't hearing me anyway.

Im typing here because I need someone else to look at this, and explain to me? Help me?
I really don't know what to do, should I give up on her? And what do you mean? Am I the bad guy here?

Yes, I blame myself for loosing here, I had a bad time, I couldn't get back up quick enought to save our relationship.

Accept the situation the way it is so you won't push her further away. Don't put pressure on kisses and sex. Just make her being able to trust you again. Work your way back through building trust, communication, activities and having fun together. If you make her remember why she liked you in the beginning then there is a chance you can start again. If you succeed make sure you don't repeat the same mistakes.
There is a high possibility that she decided to give up and there is nothing you can do about it. If that's the case you need to be able to accept it and move on.
You need some time alone to put yourself together. You went through lots of things.

I normally know what to do in theese situations, but when you're in this situation, you loose all sense, and forget all about P.u.a. I going through the text program now for the 3rd time. If I can perfect that, I might still have a chancea as you said!

Thank you for reply! I needed to hear that, and I know what to do now !

Good I wish you good luck!

As the first male to reply in this thread I will say you are "in love" and she is sketched out by it.

Meet more girls. You continually reference her as "the one" but she does not feel the same.

If you were to engage her with a "who cares; I'm a man about the world" attitude I can almost guarantee her interest would go way up.

Mhm, I know:( I i've been a few no theese past weeks, having a great time and it gave me a huge confidence boost. Then the other day I met her, and we had a chill time, but that strong aura she carries, made me crumble and actually loose all interest for the other girls, that is scary thing I think. I've been in a few relationships in my life, but I have never even felt or seen something so powerful as I do with her. In one way, I can say I wish I never met her, I hate being this weak over someone:)

Yea buddy, I know what you are saying but I can't play that role with her. I can only do that with someone I dont care so much about, then I know, it is not a such big loss if I screw up, but if I screw up with her, trying to play "I'm a man about the world attitude" I will certainly loose her, I guess. But I feel like such big dick against the wimens i've met, when really all I do is channeling my frustration in to them, giving them false hopes and eventually breaking their hearts, yea I know, I am dick at the moment, and I really can not stop, It is my fuel to carry on working for her.

I'm not in the "I'm hurt, I'm heartbroken" fase anymore. I am the in the "I want to build a future with her, and I will do anything to get her" And I can still say the same in 5 years from now. We share common goals, dreams, music, food, social activities, beliefs that this girl is not something I can just "let go of". "You can get anything you want in life, if you work hard enough for it" I can't work any harder.. This is some powerfull shit, and I really don't like it when it is working against me.

When what you've been doing isn't working, it may be time to change things up. Professing your undying love to her hasn't been working, so maybe the "man about the world" attitude would.

Also, she may have found someone else.

Assuming you are still hundreds of miles apart from eachother or whatever, and if your agreement is that the two of you can see other people, let her know what you have been up to with the other girls in an offhand way. If that doesn't pique her interest and get her chasing you hard and pushing for exclusivity, nothing will.

Thank you for fast and great replies! I am pretty bad at explaining things, and I really often get misunderstood. I knew from the start that professing my undying love isn't gonna help, but that is my last resort. You telling the story exactly like it is happening lol

She hasn't found someone else her words "I don't want someone else, I don't want to be with someone else, I have no interest in someone else, I want to finish my dancing school and sort out my feelings" After knowing her so long, I know she is not lying in this case, she won't sleep with anyone else, or be with anyone else for filling up som needs she have, she knows that when she has those needs, she has me, yea, but that still isnt enough for me, and telling her about my undying love actually pushed her more away.

I got with a girll in the summer, when it started to get serious she knocked on my door, resulting in a flashback of feelings towards her, ditching the summerflirt and channeling all my strength to her. I thought, "Wow, she felt jaelous she actually feels something towards me?" But she is a kind girl, so this act really got her down, knowing i ditched the summerflirt, she was devasted of guilt, really mad at herself for being such a jerk. I told her 1 thing with thick letters "Turn to me whenever you want, I will stand right next to you, no matter the situation you are in, but the second you date another guy, you can't turn me, that is the only thing you can do to drive me away. Yea, I really feel like douche sleeping with other girls while she is being "faithfull" when we are barely friends now. She won't sleep with other guys, or dating, not because I asked her not to, because her needs of being intimate is triggered when she loves someone, she don't casually go out and have sex because she feels like it, and that is one of the biggest perks I know in woman. but I can't ignore her? I've been having a fase were I replied slow, trying to make her work for, well' that didnt actually work, it only ended up with us loosing even more contact.

mhm, this is a hard nut to crack, and Im going all out her, even if it makes me a douche, I really need "outisde" help for this one, and if this works, I will honest to god, invite thread replies to the wedding, lol

I've dated this girl last day, maby I'll let her know offhand? Or is too early you think?
If she want's to hang with me when we are both in our hometown, should I say yes? How should I behave?
Do I wait for her to make a move? Give her time? Please, feel free to ask anything that could help me get the upper and, I will reply as good as I can, and hold nothing back, I know that I am the best thing for her, but she doesn't, yet. Hopefully