I fell in love my freshman year of college. I fell very very hard. As time went by, I realized that I am sacrificing that I will never hook up with another woman as long as I live as long as I continue to date her. I felt this to be a commitment that I simply could not accept at the moment and broke her heart.... Anyways as soon as I broke up with her she started fucking another guy from work. At first I was all upset about it because she was a slut blah blah blah but then I grew the fuck up and realized that it doesnt fucking matter. She was hurt and confused and desperate for something to fill the void inside of her because she just got dumped by the first person she had ever experienced love with. So what happened is I refused to make her my girlfriend after that but we spent the next year being still in love but in a slightly deranged sense. Ups and Downs, more fights, the stress of the drama beforehand had punctured a hole in our relationship. So I'm hooking up with other girls and shit because the way I saw it, I couldn't remain faithful to someone who just had fucked another dude when we broke up for a week. So she kept finding out about girls I was hooking up with and was going bat shit crazy because the mental strain that that can cause someone is extreme. Like very extreme I actually had a panic attack which is quite scary. Anyways summer rolls along we are not getting along well and I break up with her because we are gonna be in different places. I am now in a position. Someone else is fucking the girl that I fell in love with and I must decide if I want her back or if I will let her go. Deep down I know that it is me she wants, but she refuses to give me anything unless I commit. Ive fucked like 15 girls since this all went down but I honestly don't feel any better about it.

Now the predicament is this.
What's more important, having sex with tons of beautiful women and letting go of this woman I could marry if I were to accept not having sex with another woman? Or do I follow the mind and figure that I can fuck tons of hot women and will probably end up falling in love with someone else down the line when I'm older and more ready to commit to a relationship.

If you find love, do you keep it no matter what? Or does the brain trumph emotions as usually is the case?

Why did you break up with her the first time? I mean before she fucked her work colleague

Well I was fucking her nonstop and me and my buddy were chillin and these three girls walked in dressed like little sluts and this girl had the biggest tits... So I ended up hookin up with her and it obviously did'nt meant shit to me.

As the next few days went by I thought to myself.... Would I ever marry a girl I cheated on? Is it in any way ethical to allow a girl who is in love with you to continue investing in you if you had cheated? These are questions I still have not answered, and me posting on this form is my way of seeking knowledge.

Anyways I assumed the right thing to do was let her go because I loved her too much to do that to her.
I also had always wanted to have sex with beautiful women and have threesomes and do the crazy college thing and all. But then as she did the same thing I realized that it really didnt fucking matter who fucked who. We loved each other and each other only.

But I had sex with lots of girls and partied but I was just chasing the dragon.. I could never feel as good as she would make me feel.

I appreciate your input.

I think Hunter_Foxe was asking you one of those rhetorical questions.

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I do understand but the problem is not that these thoughts haven't gone through my head. The problem is I have over thought the situation. I have been thinking about it a lot for about a month but I haven't really gotten anywhere. So I came here. I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar position, what they did and how it worked out for them and stuff

Here's an important question. How old are you?

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20

20 years old. I'm going to give you some wisdom that you will refuse to accept. You are too young to be in a relationship no matter how much you love this girl. From high school until now, you've figured out that you are way more mature and have a better understanding of life and a high school relationship/love doesn't reflect what the real world is. Now that you are in college, your "love" still isn't reflective of the real world. You two haven't experienced real life. Real life meaning a career, paying rent, and having no one to depend on but yourself.

You should really pursue FWB relationships because they are way more realistic in college. Don't get into a relationship until you have been collecting a real paycheck from a full time career for a minimum of 1-2 years. I guarantee you'll look back and be happy that you weren't in a relationship.

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You are already emotionally messed up at age 20. If you sleep around now, you will be an even bigger mess by the time you realize you need a stable life with a good person. And you will never have that life because a good girl will never come.

I'm not saying to get with this girl. I'm saying stay single and sort yourself out. Like someone else pointed out, you are not ready for any kind of relationship. Your logic is the weirdest I've ever seen. You let the girl go because you cheated on her, and now you hate her for getting with someone while you were separated? How are you unable to see how messed up your thought processes are? Your brain isn't even functioning properly.

Yes my logic is messed up because of emotional stresses, do you have any advice on how I can improve

Like I said, stay single for a while and sort yourself out. By a while, I don't mean a month. I mean couple years.

If it was such a great love you wouldn't had those problems. I don't believe that there is a certain age that people shouldn't commit or a certain age that they should commit.
Also there isn't any rule that says you will be ready to commit after you have the threesomes, the girls etc.
Sometimes those experiences might make you not wanting to commit and if you do, they might make you miss those days and want to be single again. For some other people, those experiences get boring after a while and they believe stronger in settling down. It is up to the person and works better for them.
You expressed a worry about not being able to marry a woman that you have cheated on. That means that you can't trust yourself.
I think you did the right thing of letting go of that relationship. When the right person will come and when the timing is right you will feel sure about yourself.
I have an understanding of your confusion in what to do. You still don't have any experience and you need some sort of guidance. The truth is that there is no rule book.
From my experiences I think that if you stop checking what your ex does it will help you feel less pain because you will be able to emotionally detach faster from her.
If it is meant to be, maybe in the future you might be able to make a fresh start. For the time being... just go with the flow and enjoy life to the fullest.
Pain and heartbreak are in the game. They only make you stronger.

I appreciate all of your advice and interest. I knew that it would be a somewhat painful long journey to overcome all of this, and now is probably just the most difficult part of the process. I knew what was best for me and now I must accept the consequences of my decision and continue on as planned. But to answer why I am trippin so hard over one girl is that she really is a dime.... A dime at the wrong time.

I believe you that she is a dime. She is not though the only dime in the world.
And if she came to your life the wrong time, maybe she is another's man dime... and you haven't met yours yet.

You can fuck as many girls as you want, if you're attached to that one you'll only miss her more. That's what a lot of the retards here don't get.