Hi everyone,

I’m normally one of the ones giving advice here, but this time I’m interested in your opinions…

The girl I’ve been in a relationship with for about a year and a quarter has recently had 3 wks of vacation time become available…

We have decided to travel the first week together…

The plan we had discussed months ago was to travel for the first 2 (and pick another country for the second week – a country where she has family). She has recently decided that it would not be a good idea for me to go on the second leg of this vacation. The reason is her family – they’re not a fan of me and staying with them would not be a great idea. I can understand this... But my argument would be that we don't need to stay with the family... And that there are plenty of other things to see.

I’ve recently been informed she’s decided the 3rd week of holidays would be used a couple wks after returning. And that trip would be to somewhere tropical – and it would also be without me. Going with a girlfriend who she travels with each year.

I’m really not sure if I’m overreacting to it or if I should press this issue. The thing is I don’t mind her vacationing without me… But I’m not a real fan that I was excluded from the previously planned second week of our original trip, and then cut out from the other, tropical trip as well – without really consulting me… I was simply ‘informed’. Part of the reason I’m not a fan is that I had been saying my vacation for this year, thinking I would be doing something with her… which does not appear to be happening (outside of that first week). Her response to this: “Nobody told you to save your vacation”.

I’m a little bitter about this – and I did mention it to her… The response was very “I can do what I’d like” - and we're not tied at the hip.

Being in a relationship – a decent one which seems to work for the most part – part of me thinks she’s in the wrong here… Another part of me thinks I’m overreacting, so I’m reluctant to push the issue and am interested in other peoples' perspective. I’m also not especially looking forward to our 1 week together, knowing there are 2 others coming up where I really wasn’t even considered.

Opinions anyone?

Age?

She's 26. I'm 35.

I don't like this one bit for you. She is setting up a bad precedent. I'm not saying that you need to try to control what she does, but you can't allow her to change things that the two of you agreed upon unless you've agreed to it as well.

I am more upset for you about the friend replacing you on vacation than the family. She just put someone else above you.

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Yeah she is being rude. Maybe she needs some alone vacation time but she is going about it incorrectly.

I appreciate your opinions, guys.

I would agree - I thought it was rude also but I'm close to the issue. I didn't want to sit here stewing, say something and then realize I was being an asshole.

Worth it to call her out on this, in your opinions? I mean it's done. She's booked everything. Can't change it... But still - doesn't help...

Oddly enough, what bothers me the most is that I'll have to look at her goddamn pictures when she gets back.

Go on a holiday of your own with the boys while she is away.

She is being rude. Cheat on her. Then you won't waste time moping around worrying about her cheating on you.

You can't call her out on it now. She'll be going on her vacation pissed off and anything that she does will be justified. I know I wouldn't be looking at any pictures though.

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Here's what I see, and it ain't pretty. Take it how you will.

She obviously wants time away from you. The first week just seems like compensation for the blatant disrespect of cancelling your joint plans, to keep you from completely blowing up on her. As for the second week, not wanting to have you spend time with her family signals she doesn't see a future with you. You should know how highly some girls value their family opinions. If she wanted you on that trip she wouldn't bother coming up with that lame ass excuse. The third week probably would've happened regardless. Her friend seems to be a higher priority than you, which is the real issue here. That week will be probably spent talking about you with her buddy.

As for you, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I'd be furious. But of course, at this point confronting her again about it won't accomplish anything, so DON'T DO IT. Your efforts are better used towards finding out what caused this, or as some others have suggested, go on your own vacation. Maybe you'll have you own answer once your head is cleared. This might seem childish, but if you're not looking forward to your week together, why not just cancel that too. Monetary reasons aside, why torture yourself? You'll probably be fuming about the fact that she'll be vacationing without you soon, which will inevitably lead to some confrontation. I'm sure you don't want that on a vacation. If you cancel, I think her reaction will be very telling of where your relationship stands.

I've seen this so many times. This is how unhappy girls treat their boyfriend. So I think you're missing the issue at hand by fuming over this. Thanks for replying to my post btw, thought I'd drop by and give my two cents. Good luck with everything man.

Charles, a vacation is supposed to be enjoyed. Based on your info, you certainly wouldn't enjoy this one if you went ahead on a vacation with her.

Take that tropical vacation yourself and enjoy lots of Asian poontang so you'll feel better. Take lots of pictures, bro. Seducing Asian women is easy if you're an American. Just flash your green card and it's done. Just don't go to Asian places where there are Muslims since many Muslims hate Americans.

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