Hi guys,

let me give you a short intro first.

I'm with my girlfriend for 4 months now. Things were pretty much great untill she moved to a new dormitory 2 weeks ago. Until then she lived in a were nice room she had all for herself and it was kinda our love nest. Everything was stress free you could say.
Now she is in a new shitty room with a roommate she don't like and there is no doubt that the stress gets the best out of her.
On top of this I've apparently became softer without me noticing and she first let me know with increased shit tests, which I did my best to deflect but was increasingly getting tired of them (nothing horrible really, just bad situation - lost on our way home, GPS in phone had a fit and I had hard time not getting anoyed).

The real lowpoint happend yesterday when she directly told me that I'm no longer as "firm" with her as when we started. I brushed it off but it fucked me up on the inside pretty bad. I mean... when we started I was real fucking asshole to her. When she wanted to wait with sex I turned on the spot and began to walk away only to have her beg me to stay and have sex with her... and so on.
Now 4 months later there is no way I would do this to her. And it got me thinking if it is really worth it if this is what it takes to keep it working.

And this finally leads me to my biggest fuck up since we started together. Later that day my buddy send me some video of his new girl and I made some comments on relationships .. something like "it's interesting that they usually end after 3 or 12 months"... and my girl asked me "do you think ours will end in 12 months as well?" and I, stupidly frustrated with everything that happend earlier that day say "yes".
She said that it doesn't seem like I have much faith in our relationship... I'm not sure if I commented further on it or not.

But it's clear that at that moment she saw me let go of the stering wheel of our relationship.

So my question is clear - how do you fix a fuck up like this one?

[additional information] - not necessary to read

And to make things even more complicated later that evening her next door SPAM came over and it turned out that my girl has some major emotional problems. I was aware how she was suffering from anxiety due to bullying from young age and her father being a cheater but always consider her to be a victim. Well this SPAM was supposed to be almost terrorazing her from what she told me exept that when I talked to her she was the nicest girl ever who not only took every uprovoked remark of my girlfriend on the chin but actually took her side during one incident my girl never really told me about because she wanted to hide how terribly she behaved.

We had a long talk after this when it became clear that she is victimizing herself as a result of how she is paralized in life be anxiety and her past which she always carries with her.

Then we had sex and went to sleep.
Then we had sex in the morning (she took iniciative, probably guilty from the evening fiasko with her SPAM) which was amazing.

Then we went rollerskating. I never done it before and she was visibly annoyed by it. After an hour I had enough shit tests I so quickly packed my things, kissed her goodbye (she was sad how fast I'm leaving and knew that things are not good.. tried to kiss me few more times) and without really looking at her left.

And that finally brings us to now. The girl is not a LTR material. But I know she could be if she gets over her inner deamons. I myself had my share of those and I'm willing to walk the road with her and see where it goes. But most importantly I don't wanna bail on this because of my inabillity to command our relationship. I wanna get better and better.
But since this is something I've never dealt with before I would deeply appreciate your good advice.

Right now the best thing I can think of is to completly cut off all contact for 2-3 days (which I'm actually doing right now), then invite her over to my house (for the first time) so she can take a break from her dormitory and chill out a bit and going back to the incident with me not showing faith in our relationship and reestablishing my possition by telling her that I don't want her to be in the past nor future but here with me in the present and that I want her to never ask question like that or she will get the same answer (sort of alpha/beta mix imo...)
I think that making it almost sound like it's over at first and later inviting her to my house could be the right thing in this situation.

What do you think?

I think you are both acting very immature here.

First of all I think you can apologize for you stating that the relationship will end. Basically saying Sorry I that I sad this and that... I was upset etc.

Also you mentioned that you were an asshole to her walking away when you not get what you want ? Well you are lucky you didn't get dumped there on the spot.

I think you just both need to calm down and talk to each other and figure out what do you want from this relationship. Ignoring, freezing out not gonna help.

However let me just state what you said:
"This girl is not LTR material" then you state "But she could be". Now this is something that's out of your control. If she wants to get her shit together then you can be there to support her. But if she doesn't want to change then no point you putting effort into this.
Have a talk and explain that you love her and want to make this work (I'm assuming this is the case since you ask here for advice), but you can't continue to date someone behaving like this.

Playing alfa/beta power game won't work

Thanks man, I'm going to see her tonight and talk to her.

I think I am being irrationally paranoid about showing affection to her. And you are deffinetly right about me handling it very immaturely.

I've been hurt so badly in past that I lean on the side of bailing out of relationship and being distant just to protect myself. I don't wanna be controled by my past and definetly dont see myself as that kind of person.

Any man who argues with women, does not understand them. To be honest you don't sound like you even want to be in this relationship, so why are you so worried about it.

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Yea, after today I really don't know.

So she was over at my house for the first time and met my parents. She is extremly weird in social situations to the point I cant take her with me when I am with my friends. Well, it showed today. But I was prepared for that, what I wasnt prepared for was her later telling me about her "bad boy" father after she drank some alcohol.

It's so by the book it's not even funny. He divorsed her mom, always had multiple woman on ratation, she described him as charming and handsome. Before that she was describing him as abusive, manipulative layer.

The biggest red flag of the evening was when she started to nag me about watching some youtube videos of inline skaters (I'm just learning) instead of being spontatious and experimenting on my own.
This plus the fact that she earlier told me that I used to be much more "strict" (when I was absolute ass to her) gives me enough evidence to conclude she has some daddy issues and is searching for the same uncaring asshole her father was.

She also was bitching that my room doesn't say enough about me as a person. I know very well what this means. My room tells shit ton about me. Games, weed, computers, camera, gym stuff, school stuff, hobbies... it's just that it's all very middle class and very ordered. So she is blind on purpose and is trying to convince herself that I'm just not showing who I really am.

I shut her bitching by telling her that indirectly that people shouldn't waste their time trying to change other people and should rather look for someone better. She got it and that was the end to that.

Man, I hate this but I really need to end this ASAP as it seems :/