I have been with my girlfriend for nearly a year and a half and I rarely want to have sex with her anymore.

I no longer initiate anything and it has left her frustrated. I get into bed an am often tired and just want to sleep. Once I get going or once she initiates it alot its okay but sex has slipped to once a week and she definitely wants more. I'm not sure whats happened to my sex drive or if its me or her.


Any advice

Get adequate sleep. Sleep deprivation can cause all sorts of havoc on one's mood and sex drive. Start there.

As lame as it may sound schedule sex, your body will adjust to whatever you throw at it. So for now say Saturday mornings if that works, mood or not your body will adapt accordingly. You need to get a handle on the sleep stuff however.

First you need to assess whether or not it's you or her.

Can you think about fucking her and get turned on? Do you ever feel excited about sex with her? Is sex with her actually good and enjoyable or is it something you dread? Do you watch porn? Does masturbating do more for you mentally than fucking your girlfriend?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0x_dFMnZVI

Eddie Murphy says it right: You feel like you're eating salted crackers but a couple months down the line you realise you've got plain old crackers.

If you just don't find her sexually arousing any more and it's not down to your physical and mental health(Stress, rest, proper sleep, healthy lifestyle, age, etc. -- Stress is a huge hit to your sex drive as is lack of exercise) then the sex is probably boring you. Had it myself with an ex... I ended up dreading sex. It was so bad I couldn't sleep with her at all for the last few months we were together. I broke it off with her, nothing was going to make that chick exciting in the sack.

can be both, but it is most likely you. I have terrible sleep schedule, hardly ever get enough sleep, but my drive is through the roof anyways - so it does not apply to me. Compared to my gf who is hardly able to have sex, i am the one who really wants it all the time. Given some circumstances, "always tired" can be worked around with other things. But if there are more problems apart from that, then it will be a problem.

What kind of lifestyle do you follow?

Tiredness does come into it. She is normally more up for it at night and by this point I normally just want to crash out. But that is definitely just a bit of the issue.

I do love her but yeah I don't really think about her sexually any more and if I see her naked then it doesn't do anything for me, sometimes I do as said above "dread" having sex, its really weird. I want to be able to make myself be up for it but I can't. Am definitely getting more enjoyment over porn.

We are off on holiday next week so if Im not into having sex with her there where we are both relaxed and have no outside pressures then surely there is something wrong. I think she is starting to get her confidence knocked by it as she asks now, why dont you want to have sex with me? and I have to say its because im tired or that I like it at different times to her.

Is there anything I can do or ask her to do to rebuild the sexual attraction. Should I stop watching porn for a while?

is she terrible in bed?
does it help if she blows you?
holiday thing will most likely reveal what is, or what is not the real problem.

but again, it is strange that you ask this, because you are the one that has most understanding of what happens in your head when you have sex. I mean, we don't know that, really hard to help or give advice

My guess is a lack of connection. May have to do with lack of quality time spent together.

I had the same problem. I obviously wanted sex but it lost any fire with my ex. But I also realized the long term stuff wasn't for me so I may be speaking from a different angle. Once I lose physical attraction I know it is time to move on. Someone once told me, if you can picture your life without them, break it off. You are doing both of you a favor.

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I don't think an emotional connection comes into this...

To me it seems you're bored fucking her. Before her did you have sex regularly or were you on a drought then met her and fucked her like no tomorrow? As I mentioned it might be a case of where sex with her felt like the best sex ever only to realise it was boring but felt good because it had been so long since you fucked someone.

If this is the case I would suggest you be a bit more spontaneous and have her become more spontaneous. Spontaneity is a huge turn on. When you feel like doing it just go for it. It also breaks down barriers between you both and instils this idea of being able to be more free sexually with one another, it spawns more sexual trust and enjoyment without any worry for what you're doing.

Here's what I suggest: Next time you come back from work go up behind her, rub her thighs and slowly undress her, take control and have her follow. Let her suck your dick then fuck her on the floor or table. Don't bother with moving to the bedroom, just do it there and make use of what's around you(Couch, floor, tables, chairs, make it work!). Show yourself and her that you're both exciting enough to have sex anywhere.

Honestly, if she gives out or doesn't let you fuck her just tell her that you're not turned on by sex at a specific time and it's boring you. Say you want to just go for it when you feel like it instead of waiting till night time.

Are you still attracted to her?

Are you seeing anyone else?

Are you interested in seeing anyone else?

If you're not interested anyone else and are still attracted to her it may be a testosterone tong.

If you are.. You may want to wrap this thing up.

Because if you won't sleep with her, she's not going to feel attractive, and if she doesn't feel attractive in the house; she'll look to feel attractive outside of the house.

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I havent been seeing anyone else and I still love her and am attracted to her.

I think my test levels could be low to be honest with you.

I think i'm too late now to be honest. She went on holiday last week, ignored all my texts, i had a go at her and now she wants to meet to discuss our relationship. I'm thinking she either cheated whilst on holiday or just wants to go and do her own thing. She is 18 and wants to experience things.

I've been feeling shit all week about it. Think its once of those ones you dont know what you have until its gone.

Nah. You will be fine. Same with my ex. I didn't know what I had til she was gone and then I realized what it was I had...steady pussy. So, I went and found more.

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Getting bored with sex can happen around the timeframe in a relationship that you mentioned. Maybe it'll be the best thing for you. Like the last poster said, if you break it off, you can go pursue other women. On the other hand, if you get back with her, try roleplay/mix up the sex.

yeah met her and she wants to call it a day. say's she is not in love with me anymore.

Probably for the best as she's off to uni in a few months and that would of been really difficult to manage.

I played it reasonably cool and said it was probably for the rest and now was a good time to be apart for a while. On the inside I was thinking I love you haha.

Its crazy what rejection does to your head.

In my head im still hoping she changes her mind and comes back. Every text I get i am hoping its her. Its not going to happen. She is popping over to collect some stuff and then I think that'll be that for a while. We said it would be best not to speak for a bit.

Feel like crap now but really do think it was going to happen and was probably for the best.

Anyone got any tips for getting over her as quick as possible?
I have been through this before and made a fool of myself so want to go through the pain quickly and without her knowing.

Im thinking stay off facebook & instagram for a while (photos of hers could pop up). I am still friends with her on facebook as I dont really want to delete her. I have adjusted the setting so nothing pops up on my timeline from her or her friends though.

I sort of feel like cracking a few beers but reckon that will probably depress me more. I dont normally drink unless i'm going out.

I've removed photos from my phone and her number so I dont get the urge the text her.

Staying busy and being round friends is ganna be hard though as I dont really feel like seeing anyone.

any help would be great.

Maybe not what you want to hear, but u just gotta get through it bro - it gets better with each day.

Of course your buddies and others will tell you "go get laid" to get over it, however you said you don't really feel like seeing any one at the moment. That's natural.

Look on the bright side: Before long you can be swimming in a bunch of cool chix you would've never met had you stayed with this girl WHO YOU DIDN'T EVEN FEEL LIKE HAVING SEX WITH ANYMORE. Keep reminding yourself of that.