Ive been dating this girl for about three months and we talked for about five before that. i really like this girl but sometimes i feel like she doesnt respect or appreciate me very much.
its long distance and i'm flying out to see her next month hoping that will spring some life back into our relationship. We talk every day but then she will just throw me a curve ball and not talk to me for a day. I give her space, i don't freak out or anything, but i don't know why she does weird things like that. Is she just trying to find out where her boundaries are?

Maybe she just legitimately has a life outside of the relationship, what a concept!!

And I don't know where to cross the line in much of anything. How can i show her i'm still in charge and in control of the relationship?

By not being reactive...so, really what you have been doing on the surface, but addressing your own insecurities before they start to fester and she sniffs them out.

She is in the navy and kind of has the woman power sense but when we have phone sex and stuff she is really submissive. i know she had daddy issues and she likes to give me crap but when i give it back she gets "upset". And if i say "mad" instead of "upset" then she flips a bitch. I don't want to control her, but i want her to know where the boundaries are.

All women will be submissive with the right guy, that little girl is always deep down in there wanting validation from some male figure. Truth.