hey guys, looking for some unbiased third-party advice in how to handle this situation with my girlfriend of 8 months.

Recently i caught her in a fairly serious lie where she went out drinking with friends, 1 girl, 2 guys. The other girl and 1 other guy there were fuck buddies last summer and i dont know the relationship between my gf and the other guy. she lied about where she was, she said she was at the girls house but really the other guy picked them both up and they went out drinking for the night. shes apologized for lying and said nothing happened.

Now i have just found out within the same time frame that a delivery guy at her work is bringing her food on an almost daily basis and calling her beautiful and that im lucky to have her. she says hes just a friend and not interested in him, but he has her number and what i consider to be hitting on her but she thinks isnt. she says hes bringing all of the girls there food and talks like that with all of them.

Now this is totally an issue of trust, but with the lie i feel like i cant trust her at all. when i confront her on these actions she thinks im being controlling whereas i think its normal behavior to not entertain men that are hitting on you as i find it disrespectful to me, she thinks its fine to continue talking to men that what i construde to be hitting on her.

she also works a second job as a server for weddings and events and i know one guy was hitting on her the whole night and it got to the point of him trying to kiss her and got her on the neck as she claimed she pulled away. am i wrong that it shouldn't even get that far to begin wwith that a guy thinks he can kiss her?

looking for some input on this, thanks.

shes a hb9 and gets hit on all the time

update:

the delivery guy bringing her food just texted this to her today-

him: sorry i couldn't come see you today i wasnt in <city that she works>
him: what time you finished today?

Yeah, you're being controlling. And what you'll find it that kind of behaviour is likely to push her away. Try being cool with everything and not talking about it. Let her know that if she needs any help warding/fending off the guys, you're there. If you still feel like she's cheating or whatever, then ask the people here for more advice on the situation.

Also, don't go poking around on her phone. It's rude.

okay, i will chill out and continue on with my own life and not worry about it. some times you just need to hear it from somebody else.

Wait she lied to you about going out to meet a former fuckbuddy then a delivery driver texted her saying he couldn't make their meetup and your worried about being controlling.....dafuk?

odyn, the former fuck buddy was his girlfriends friends former fuck buddy. that being said yet that part does seems shady as it can be seen as double date. the thing with the coworker bringing her food, id just ignore that one. but the first one somethings not right there. yes your overreacting to the situation because situations like this happen with girls all the time. however I would not have let lieng to you pass over that easily. theirs only to reasons a person hides something from someone else like this

1. she already sees you as the jealous type so didnt want to get into trouble
or
2. she was up to something and didnt want to get caught with what she wanted to figure out or do.

it should not be the fact she was out with some other dude like that that should be the problem

the lieng about it should be

to know which it is honestly ask yourself this

before the friend and her met with her friends former fuck buddy and his friend. was your behaviour towards her and other men before this event jealous like. if yes then she didnt want to upset you

if no she was up to something

I was focused on the fact that she lied rather than going out without telling me, i really dont care about that.

but her response to lying was that she thought id be mad, so that screams she sees me as the jealous type which is hard to swallow because ive said many times i dont care who she talks to or if she goes out. i really dont.

i took the advice and told her tonight i want her to have her freedom and talk to and go out with whom ever she wants, its cool with me.

now the question is, how do i get the idea that im the jealous type out of her head?

Your girl is cheating dude. Sorry I won't say that if I didn't believe it. The 2 guys 2 girls thing, double date plain and simple. Not even considering the fact that the other 2 were fucking. It's a double date and both girls messed around with guys that night. The delivery guy thing shows she likes male attention and her asking him when he is off means she doesn't care. You're not being jealous here. 2 guys and 2 girls don't just go out. She has lied to you. Wish I could write more. As odyn said da fuck....

Ps about the guy trying to kiss her that's bs. First rule for cheaters is to give bs info to prove their trustworthy. What situation was she in where he was that close to go for a kiss? Especially when hitting on her...

I don't know you or your girl... but this smells like fucking around to me.

thats exactly how i saw it.

its circumstantial though. i dont know her relationship with the other guy only her friend's. The delivery guy bringing her free lunches and calling her beautiful is the one that asked when she was off work and wanted to hang out. she says hes just a friend and i cant prove otherwise. the guy that kissed her was in the wedding party and chatted her up the whole night then tried to kiss her in the parking lot when it was over. thats all i know.

i am really looking for advice here because im at a loss. when i set my boundaries she takes it as jealousy and when i do nothing the behavior continues.

i need to not look jealous but still get the point across that i don't like it (or should i not even care about these events at all?)

Just throwing my 2 cents in.

- Women lie. Get used to it.
- Hot Women will not cease to be hit on til they are no longer hot.
- If you think she’s fucking around, she already has. Your gut was right.
- She's throwing red flags, be prepared to walk the fuck away.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

The date thing isn't really circumstantial. 2 girls 2 guys...drinks. I could understand if it was her friends brother and his friend hanging out but that was a date. And she lied about it. Does she hide her phone? If she is completely open with her phone maybe I'm wrong. Anyway she went on a date.

Personally I won't want my girl texting a guy what time he is free especially when he hits on her and buys shit. Then again too I don't date girls who would play another man for his money in the first place. No man should be bringing my girl food or buying her shit (unless a friend as a present). She should have her own money and be independent enough to not rely or take someone's gifts. But that's me.

So last guy hits on her all night and tries to kiss her outside. When have u or anyone spoken to a girl who wasn't giving u signals and been that close to rape kiss her? What is she doing in kissing distance of a guy hitting on her?

It's fishy and shady. Sometimes instead of waiting for 100% confirmation you gotta do like girls do and say look you're too suspicious I don't trust you I'm out.

I feel the same way. thanks for the great advice.

and yes, she hides her phone all the time. text conversations are deleted along with any emails.