| Girlfriend: HB8, 30 years old, hot, but moreso cute. I've had many physically superior women in my past. She was heavier in her college days (resulting in some saggy boobs, nice body but FAR from perfect). She's a reliable, smart, trustworthy, emotionally stable, incredibly positive, always smiling, happy, attractive personality. She's graduating from a top business school and moving 600 miles away in 3 months. By all accounts, this woman has her shit together and is ready to marry and start a family.
Me: 36 yeard old. I typically date only HB9/10's, I date one girl at a time, then have a tendency to fall in love too quickly with the wrong personality (gold diggers, unstable, selfish, etc...) if she's hot enough. I'm also a struggling entrepreneur (read: flat broke, but with passion and a vision I believe in).
Situation: I met GF 3 months ago, was immediately blown away by her personality more so than her looks. Our chemistry is tangible! I cut off other girls after our first date. Despite initial disappointment of saggy boobs, things mostly felt right between us. Within the backdrop of my seriously tight financial situation, we would make dinner together, drink wine, talk and fuck. That was our typical date, and it was amazing. She seemed to understand my struggle, and not care.
During this time I did have a cashflow scare regarding company payroll, and admitted to her that I do not have healthcare-- both of which scared the shit out of my naturally risk averse GF. She has a stable, successful career in her near future and expects the same of her husband-to-be. I told her i have a romantic concept in my head of overcoming hardship with a partner beside me, but she would need to have faith that I could overcome and not stress about the details. My business stress is off the fucking charts, true, but I tried to shelter her from it as much as possible.
The problem: 2 weeks ago she told me something was missing, and she needed space to figure it out. This was a surprise to me. I thought things were going great.
I gave her space. I banged an HB9/10 that weekend and generally planned not to see her again until we were over everything and just friends. Banging the HB9/10 backfired though. While hotter and crazier in bed than my GF, the HB9/10 is an emotional disaster. I've made that mistake enough times, and found myself longing for the GF.
I admitted to myself that I was in love with the GF.
A week later I texted GF for her address, so I could mail her stuff back. She responded that she'd rather pick it up in person. We started texting again...i asked her to do dinner...2 weeks post breakup we went on a date. We then saw each other again saturday (3 days later), and had great sex. When i pressed for morning sex she turned me down, said she felt weird about us and needed space-- but wants to see me again this weekend.
Conclusion: I am pushing her away and TURNING HER OFF with my behavior. More important, it appears that our paths are not congruent. Therefore, I must end this relationship and release my GF back into the dating pool.
Considerations: She currently has all the power. She is the decider, I'd like to regain that status in our relationship. My realistic goal is to leave her attracted to me so I can stay at the top of her booty call list, with a secondary goal of giving myself the only chance (by breaking up now) at success for us down the road.
Advise? Any feedback is welcome.
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CHAT