Seven months ago I ended a serious relationship because my ex-girlfriend was cheating on me. She basically turned out to be Satan and if I told you all the unbelievable details you would agree. There is no excuse for all of the things she did to me, but I do know why she wasn't happy and let her wicked side manifest itself. One of the main problems was that I was not man enough.

I have been working with myself since then and I believe I understand better the basic things that all women want from a man. I have adjusted my tactic. One of the things I have been doing is avoiding talking about personal issues. The point is to be more mysterious, keep the SPAM fun and positive, and show that I am able to be strong and move on from the negative things I've experienced.

The problem is that I am really not as strong as I am portraying myself. I still haven't been able to get over what happened and I have been feeling less wanted by people around me as well. So basically I've just had a terrible weekend. This is where I need your advice.

I've been dating a girl for about two months now. It might be relevant to say here that I am 32 and she is 25. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend. I usually see her once a week, but she is very busy and our dates are usually short, sometimes just a coffee for half an hour. We've slept over at each others' places a few times but no sex, although I've certainly tried (she's only had sex with one person before). She is a very nice and sweet person. We've had no issues with each other, no fights...

Now as I've mentioned I have not been doing so well lately. I feel like there is no compassion anywhere to be found, except with her and she is not opening up completely to me. I need to talk to someone. I don't really have any friends right now. Would it be a really bad idea to talk with her about these things? I don't want to drive her away. Should I wait a couple more months and see where this relationship goes after she is done writing her thesis and has more time? She does know I had a tragic experience with my ex but I haven't gone into details. She will surely ask me how my weekend was when I see her on Tuesday. So am I supposed to just lie to her, maybe make up some stories? I would feel really foolish. I just want to be honest but I don't want to potentially drive her away.

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What would James Bond do?

well no need to lie, if she ask for your weekend you can just say something like: not much to say about it, wasnt the funniest weekend of my life and change subject asking about her weekend. dont be scared to drive her away, you seems to chase her to much, been months and you guys aint anything? your time is precious, meet other girls, or if your goal is to be with that girl, go all in, tell her what you exactly want from her, and if she doesnt want anything, well, move on, atleast you wont waste anymore months.

I took her out for wine and tapas last night and because of my past experiences with her, I wasn't expecting her to come home with me. I invited her as usual anyway, but she came with the usual excuse that she has to study and she knows she won't be able to stop thinking about that. But what really frustrated me was that she said she actually had brought her toothbrush (thinking she might come home with me), but she couldn't come anyway. So I thought, what the hell, have I done something wrong? I asked her what made her change her mind, but she just repeated her usual excuse about studying.

She says it has just been bad timing -- she feels bad for not spending more time with me, and that she really wants to, but she always has to study or work. I tell her I understand that she has to do what she has to do and that I'm fine with seeing her as often as I am now, but I think that when I invite her out in the evening, she should set that time aside and not plan to do anything else.

I'm being careful not to come off too needy while still expressing what I want because I feel like this is going nowhere and it's frustrating to me. Also I know it's wrong to feel like she "owes" me, but I'm starting to feel like a bit of an AFC for spending money on her and coming home alone -- I'm in a tight economic situation as it is. In fact, I was going to invite her for a short trip on the weekend, but I've changed my mind.

There was one other red flag. She said she doesn't know if I'm seeing anyone else, but that she doesn't want to hold me back since she doesn't have time for me right now. To that I replied that as long as I'm not in an official relationship with someone, I will not keep myself from meeting other girls. She was glad to hear that, but how should I feel about it? On the one hand it makes me feel like she's not into me enough, but on the other I'm glad that she is mature enough to see it from that angle and not be jealous.

At first I was thinking that I have nothing to lose from continuing to see her (as long as I don't spend too much money), after all I'm still talking to other girls and have been on a couple of dates. But now I am considering telling her that I cannot see her at all anymore until she is able to properly spend time with me because if things are not progressing I'm afraid that they will just get stale and the attraction will die off.

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What would James Bond do?

try to make sure the next time you meet her will be in an occasion where logistics and time constraints won't drive her away. like a saturday night, for example. nobody ever has something relevant to do in a sunday morning - if she says she does, it's probably bullshit. keep a sexual/flirty vibe. make out a lot. if you're not home, invite her there to watch a movie and/or drink some wine. just have an excuse instead of just "come home so we have sex", it puts her anti-slut defenses down.

it's quite probable she's just prude or insecure about sex (only one partner @ 25 yo!!!). if there's no logical reason for her to not sleep over next time and she declines anyway, then call her on it (with assertiveness!) and (totally) break contact for some days. resist the urge to ask her calls. the next time you meet, act cool but don't apologize. she will probably force herself to submit in fear of losing you.

don't act angry with her, but if you don't react at all to her not satisfying your needs, she'll take you for granted and you'll be her little puppet. there's only one reason for a girl to not have sex in the course of a two month relationship: she didn't want to.

She always always has time constraints due to writing her thesis and working. She said herself that the weekend means nothing to her. I always give her a reason to come, like watch something or drink wine. One time the date was specifically that she came over for dinner at my place, but even then she didn't stay the night which was really frustrating to me. I've spent the night a couple times at her place and she did at my place once, but the last time was like a month ago.

I'm going to wait for her to contact me and I will not apologize, as you said. But the next time we meet I will probably break it off with her and tell her to contact me when she has time to invest in our relationship, making sure she understands that I may not be available then. I want to explain to her that since nothing is developing right now, I'm afraid that the attraction might just die off if we keep seeing each other this way. Good idea?

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What would James Bond do?

How come that you didn't have sex when you've slept with each other many times ? Every girl is different but to me if I sleep with someone and there is no sex then I would stop investing anymore because I value my own time.

To the studies thing. It might be true that she is busy but it helps if she gets away from studies every once in a while and relax. You can explain this to her. If she doesn't get it, her loss.

I suggest you also sort out your own life because you've mentioned that you haven't got any friends. Which you will need otherwise you will be dependent on this girl. Or the next one etc. There are a lot of topics on here about how to do that but basically get hobbies, work on your career, education, health to improve.

In the meantime you can dump all your feelings and negative past experiences here if that helps. I'm sure guys here will help you.

Don't worry about your ex. She is a twat. You deserve better.

You lack dominance. That's why your ex did that stuff to you :p ... But, thank your ex for showing what you lack.
- For you to get away of being emotional you must be dominate first.

To be dominant ... you don't ask for permission ... you just lead and assume she wants to go home.
- If going home is to large of a jump ... then baby step it, "Let's get a coffee at this place." ... Well look at that that, the cafe is near my house ... "Let's get a quick drink at my place."
* Never ask permission when you are leading ... just grab her hand and say we are going here. But, look into her eyes to show tenderness.

The girl wants to sleep with you ... but you have to lead it to it. You have to make it seem like it just happened.

Dominance never ask for permission ... you just do it in a self fulling way.
- Spontaneously grab her and grab the back of her head and start making out.
- Command her to do stuff for you. You need to make the girl chase you by making her invest in you. You spending money on her will not do anything ... mine as well just use your money to buy a prostitute ....
- You don't need to spend money to fuck a girl -_- ....

IF your requests are to large of a jump ... then do small requests to accumulate to a large one!
- The difference between a requests you ask for a girl to give you a Blow Job to her getting you a soft drink at the refrigerator is how much value you have.

Study and research about DOMINANCE!!
- First resource would be to read the book Sex God Method ... there are free pdf version online!

Lastly, all girls love a dominant man! It's in their DNA to be attracted to one. If you want to prevent what your ex did to you ... then go read that book O_O.

Sincerely,

Donston

If you're not fucking her, you're not in a relationship with her. Friends at best right now. My advice to you, since you say you have no friends, is to downgrade her to friends. See her whenever for coffee. Quit making advances, if you ever fuck her, make it because she came to you. So now you have a friend. Talk to her like you need and you risk nothing because you're done trying to fuck her.

Step 2.....find some other women to fuck. Maybe find some friends while you are at it. Quit chasing people who don't have time for you in their life and start giving your time and attention to those who do.

Yeah I don't know about this thing about being dominant. I always grab her and start making out with her. I've tried many times to initiate sex while we're in bed, but she just won't let me go further. I never asked for permission for any of that.

As far as spending money on her, I just want to give her a good experience. I would not buy her any presents, but I don't want to just invite her over all the time because I think she would get bored of that. I want to show her a good time doing different types of activities.

Trust me, I've explained to her that it helps to get away from studies and relax, but she doesn't bite. She just says that she won't be able to stop thinking about it.

To get friends I should get hobbies, work on my career, education, health? Well I'm done studying, but all the rest is stuff I'm always working with.

So thank you for all your insight, but I don't see what else I can do.

vhou812, your idea of friendzoning her is interesting, but I'm afraid that if I do that, I won't be able to get her back as something more. I'm going to think about this.

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What would James Bond do?

Well it's been five days since I expressed my disappointment after taking her out, as I described at the beginning of the thread. I haven't heard anything from her. This sucks. It's probably the longest she has gone without contacting me. She is travelling in two days and will be gone for four days, I think. Guess I'll just keep waiting...

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What would James Bond do?

Go out and game other girls. If you sit here thinking about how you haven't contacted her you'll start to get needy and end up contacting her.

Thanks, that's good advice. I was actually thinking the same today. So now I just need to act! As George Bush once put it "there is a time to think and a time to act, and right now is not the time to think."

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What would James Bond do?

^^ This is completely right. She's not a girlfriend if you're not fucking.

If she doesn't want to fuck, and you do - find someone who does... Problem solved.

Sorry for late reply ... busy with work -_- ...

1) To push a girl pass her sexual threshold is to use the "Forbidden Technique". This technique can be done on virgins or on girls who are hesitant to do anal. The idea is to use "guilt" to enhance sexual pleasure.
- To reframe your interaction as "doing something that you are not 'suppose' to do in bed is always especially exciting."
- Make guilt enhance her pleasure. Where you convert her guilt into excitement and naughty.
* So how do you push a girl's thresholds?
1) Getting her very excited.
2) Then VIVIDLY describe what it is you want to do to her.
3) Then tell her that you "can't" do what you just described in order to "disarm her logical mind".

So one of my girls currently is a 19 year old and WAS a virgin. At first she said she wasn't ready yet. I told her that I understand, knowing that I was going to fuck her no matter what! But, I also knew that for me to make her do it was not to deal with her logical mind and instead deal with her sexual, emotional mind.

For example:
- I normally start by making out with her. Then I would take my clothes off first so she can be more receptive with her taking her clothes off. Then I would excite her by fingering her. First rub her clit above her panties ... If she resists then just say, "It doesn't count as sex. You are so pretty I just want to make you feel good."
- Then I would eventually start fingering her and say, "You are so wet down there." Then say, "You are so tight down there." ... and say, "My hand is drenched by you ..."
- Once "she is excited and turned on" ... start to describe what you want to do and say, "Baby ... can you imagine feeling every inch of my cock inside your pussy ... can you imagine giving your vagina up to me ..."
- Graphically describe sex as a deeply emotional act would make her want it more ... for I made this girl super in love with me ^_^.
- THEN, before she could respond, I would say, "but, we can't do that ... that's bad" as I plunged my finger deeper into her pussy.
- Then I would say ... "I just want to put the tip of my dick in for a second ... I want to feel your tight pussy with it."

- It took me 3 attempts to do this on 3 separate occasion until she couldn't help it and gave her virginity to me.

Side note: You can use the forbidden technique during your dates ... like whispering to her, "If there wasn't all these people here ... I would totally bend you over that table and take care of business. But, we can't ... that's bad to do."
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Now for dealing with your dates and getting her comfortable of going home to your place ... there are 2 methods I will suggests:

First to get her comfortable of leading her home is to bounce her multiple times.
- Don't just stay in one place for a date ... have like 5 different venues to bounce to.
- What I do is take a girl for a coffee saying I needed a coffee, then maybe take her to a chore I need to do like pick up a book at the book store, then grab a bite to eat, then go maybe get a drink, then go for desert ...
* The point is to get her comfortable with you leading. So when it is time to lead her home she will be more receptive to comply because you bounced her like 5 times already.
* Having 5 venues is better than going a date at one venue. Now she has 5 different memories of you compared to having 1 memory at one venue. This increases the amount of trusts she has on you and also is cheaper to spend on the girl.
* Have the final destination/venue near your place so you can easily lead the girl to your place by saying, "Oh my place is near by ... let's quickly get a drink there."
- Make the process like an adventure where sex just happened ...

or

After your date ... ask her to walk her home ... then when you are at her place ask to go pee and use her washroom or get a drink because you are thirsty .... then escalate there. You don't always have to take the girl home at your place!!!

Lastly, you have to be more considerate of the girl ... if she says that she has no time to go out with you because studying is important to her ... then have your date to be a study date. Where you guys go to the library and she does her studies and you do your own thing. At least you still have an opportunity to spend time with her. Then incorporate multi bounce by taking breaks in between studies like grabbing a coffee or going for a walk ...
- Basically, if she has no time to go on a date with you because she has to study ... then make it a study date.

Remember that pick up is 50% dominance (forcing your agenda on her) ... and 50% empathy (understand how she feels and expressing it).

Sincerely,

Donston

Thanks, that's really helpful!

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What would James Bond do?