I have been with this chick for about a month (known her for about 4 months), looking to get serious in the future. Last night on the phone she says "you found me at a bad time" (death in the family, pressure from school) and I took that as a load of shit and got sorta pissed because it made me feel as though I'm the guy she had to fall back on cause she couldn't handle her shit.

Anyway, I responded saying "I'm not going to be your emotional leech, someone who is here for you just because you're going through hard times, I have feelings for you and you should respect that."

Now I have mixed feelings over whether or not I should have said that or not. It may have been a bitch move on my part, but I just don't know. She's going to Cali for 2 months in June as an Au Pair and we're still deciding if we're going to be faithful with each other because it's just so early.

Thinkin I'll freeze her out for a day or two and keep the relationship "open" while summer's wild ones come out...

Any advice on what to do/where to go from here?

What did she do which shows that she doesn't respect your feelings ?

What you said her comes off like you are being an ass. More info please.

What I got from the subtext of the conversation was 'You found me at a time when in my life when I needed someone to settle down with, when normally I'd be out fucking other people and perhaps you exploited my emotions when normally I wouldn't have given a shit about you.', or "I'm beautiful, I have way more options than you do; I felt like it was a bit of a shit test ya know? Those are not her quoted words, but that was my read on it. Perhaps I read too much into it. (for a while she would talking about other guys she went to "crazy parties" with. Professional basketballs players, bla bla bla, and I am not going to listen to that shit either. She knows now after I said something and said "who cares about our past we're here now." Yes I love that idea and mindset also, but she still has to earn my trust.

Does that make sense? It's a funky situation. I would say she's in love with me, but wants me to know that she has other options and enjoys putting me situations where I have to show a not so nice side.

Reading this "What I got from the subtext" I can tell that you are over analyzing everything she says. And it's incorrect. Here is why:
- if a girl finds someone who she thinks she can settle down with, she will settle down. that's it. doesn't matter why or how many guys she fucked before. that guy now is you. no matter what she says or how she brags about her past.
- your second interpretation reeks of insecurity. she has options. yes. every girl does. you also have options. so what. why is she with you ? because you are the best option.
- she was telling you her past experiences. depends how she presented it. if you asked what did she do in the past then don't blame her telling you.

give me a situation she put you into where you had to show your not nice side.

you're being a tad. she had a family member die.
what do you expect would happen.

My opinion: Overreation and you're reading too much into it.

Apologize.

You're reading the subtext wrong. If she had said you found her at the right time that could imply she is saying you're the lucky one. But she said bad time. Yes she is moving soon and had shit in her life so its bad timing for a relationship.

Thanks, these are all wise words. She cancelled the trip to spend summer with me so things are better. She also texted me before the end of tonight and said her friend and some guys were coming over. Don't know if that was as shit test or just what she had planned. I just said do your thing and we'll talk tomorrow. Takin it slow and easy, whatever happens happens. Time to stop reading into things, get my shit together, and drop my insecurities.

Thanks dudes.

I also suggest you stop reading "shit test" advices as well. A lot of guys here think everything a girl does is a shit test.

If she cancelled because of you then you have a great girl.

With regards to her friends coming over this is how you should react: - "great, have fun"

Seriously dude you need to change your name to Neurotic Fuckwit. You make mountains out of molehills, think you're getting shit tests left, right and centre and your whole fucking attitude toward this girl sucks man. You seem the sort who schemes and does underhand things yourself to get what you want and can't bear the thought of a girl POSSIBLY, not necessarily, doing the same right back at you. Grow up you stupid asswipe and quit acting like some neurotic, needy cunt.

Obviously you can totally understand someone by one comment so you must be the neurotic mind reader. Now go fuck yourself Digital. You were probably meant to be wiped off on a towel and thrown on the floor.

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When you apply intelligence, anything can be achieved

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What would James Bond do?

Your mom died! What are you looking for? Someone who fucks your brains out? Nope some strong arm that holds you and tells you it is realy hard but it will pass eventually. You could support her by that. She shares some feeling with you.

You want a relationship? Go and give her that support, be there for her!

You want a Fuckbuddy? --> Next!

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Command and Conquer!

Gimme more cochones cabron!

The emotional leech speech came after some other details emerged it wasn't just in response to the death in the family. I was completely there for her when that hit her. Anyway now I'm here for her now and have solved the issue. Thanks for the feedback. I'll keep you updated if you're interested.