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| Author | Message |
| zareph | PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:39 am | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2013 4:31 pm Posts: 2 | | So I'm gonna make a very long story short. In the beggining of this relationship my current gf was extremely affectionate and fell for her hard from the start. Ive been with her for lets say 6 or 7 months and Ive yet to have sex with her. Yes you heard no sex yet and this is worrying the shit out of me right now. And I know the biggest reason is because Ive become beta as fuck with this girl.
I feel ive lost her attraction but not interest. She always makes time to see me and were always hanging out doing shit. And she never turns me away to kiss her but it isnt the long makeout kissing like she used to like doing at the start. But for the last few months there is rare to no affection from her and I know its because ive shown too much affection and have been showering her with attention. And on top ive had a argument with her about affection topic a couple of weeks ago. I KNOW major mistake and beta as hell.
So Ive been thinking because like I said her interest is still there were always doing stuff and hanging out and she initiates contact. But I want to recover from all of this. And have a balance of power in this relationship because as of right now she holds it all and im now trying to recover and become the alpha I should be. Not the beta/afc chump ive become since I started dating this girl. I'm so dam highly sexually frustrated and never been through something like this. But I dont want to tell her that and ive learned. I want to bang this girl and gain the composure I should have in this relationship. Before she does get bored and becomes too late.
What I'm thinking of doing is since she does have the interest in me. Is to start showing little affection so she can start being the one initiating or something in that direction. But in what direction do you guys think I should start taking this? I feel like theres alot less work then I'm thinking..... But I've been stuck in this mode for so long I just dont know what to do right now. And how I can build up that sexual tension to finally fuck her and have that attraction as well as interest in the relationship that is needed.
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| zareph | PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:03 am | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2013 4:31 pm Posts: 2 | | Anybody have advice on what direction to take? I have a feeling I should take a route to have her miss me. And kinda reset the attraction and escalate more. The objective isn't even that i want her just for forking. I just mainly want to keep her around for a LTR. And feel she's gonna get bored soon if I don't get something to happen soon or whatever you want to call it and take it to that stage.
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| Cool Hand Luke | PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 6:04 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Addict | Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:08 am Posts: 227 Location: US | | Immediately start pulling away. Next weekend night go out with your friends. Start texting less. Spend one day with her and busy the next. Push/Pull.
Your going to have to start the process of breaking up with her and she if she pulls you back in. If she doesn't and she may not, it sounds like you will do anything to keep the relationship going, and she senses that. You need to show her you don't need her and are willing to move on without her.
Start preparing to breakup and get other girls. I know it's probably really painful to think about.
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| Hunter_Foxe | PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 6:11 pm | |
| Offline | | PUA Forum Leader |  | Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2012 8:24 pm Posts: 2044 Location: Nottingham, UK | | Bro. How old are you? Honest question.
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| CharlesFinley | PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 6:16 pm | |
| Offline | | Moderator |  | Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:17 pm Posts: 3427 Location: Toronto, Canada | | She a virgin?
Like, what's the sexual stumbling block, here? Is it that she's nervous? Hasn't done it before?
At 6 or 7 months she's your girlfriend...
You need to be up front and honest and actually TALK about the situation. If you're in a relationship with this girl, you're not really gaming her anymore - you should be able to talk about issues.
If that doesn't get you anywhere, then you need a soft next here.
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| KevanSnow | PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 4:33 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:47 pm Posts: 43 | | Damn.
I think Charles is on point here. We don't know what the real issue as to why you aren't having sex is..
Showering her with attention is bad, but at the same time just retreating from her isn't going to promote interest for you.
Look, you are a man with sexual desires (don't know about her..) and she must understand that after so much time you are dying to fuck her. You should talk about sex, just be careful not to sound like a kid wanting a sweet.
I am no PUA in all honesty, but here's what i'd do:
Talk to her about sex, casually. Maybe find out if there's something she'd like to try (is she nervous?). While having this chat, if there's sexual tension (you think she wants you there and then) you can go for it, IF there's no sexual innuendo you should leave it and go about your day.
Between this chat and the next time you see her i would spike sexual interest through text, but you dont NEED to.
THEN, the next time you see her in private touch her, hold her and tell her you want her now. Kiss her and take her on the damn couch if you want to.
If she blatantly refuses for some reason, tell her how the relationship is not working for you with no sex, it's only natural. If she needs more control of the setting or something else, you could yield it to her if you wish and go from there.
My two cents
Last edited by KevanSnow on Wed Apr 16, 2014 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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| Vlads | PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 6:02 pm | |
| Offline | | Member of MPUA Forum | Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2014 10:28 pm Posts: 150 | | your main problem is self esteem, she is very important to you, so you afraid to lose her therefore you losing her, and that's what make you over emotional and careful and showering with attention.
doing push pull might help you, but i assume only if you got strong spirit and you can push her in front of her face and resist her, from your writing i understand its not the case.
you got to work on your limits, my advice is give limited attention only when you get some, not for free, doesn't matter who give it first, also start doing things you want, sex shouldn't drive you, if you always give yourself points or affirmations thought out sex closeness progress, you judge yourself very hard.
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