So here's the situation that my beloved friend has put me in... Awhile ago my friend tried to set me up with a girl, which worked and we're supposed to be going to matric dance in a couple of weeks. We've been together for only more than a week but met a long time ago. So earlier on tonight my mate calls me while he's pissed and confesses to me that he was and has been sleeping with this girl right until her I started going out. Then after the phone call i get a message from this girl (who im really trying hard not to call bad names right now) saying that she has something to say "because my mates being a prick" she says...so she told me her and my mate had a fling but it was nothing serious. But "she really doesnt want anyone to know, so she would appreciate it if i didnt tell anyone"...... What a f@#king joke!! I really dont know what to think about all this, please can someone help give me any advice!! I would really appreciate it!

I dont think i have an issue with my mate sleeping with her, cause it was before we started going out and when he phoned me he said that he only found out now that we were going out and he's really really sorry. Should i be pissed at him though?? I really dont know what to think right now, iv got too much other sh*t to deal with at the moment.

you ask us how should you feel?
anyway your mate led you down, he tried to set between you, and then "took her away".
from my point of view if it would happened with me, the girl doesn't own me anything she just a... you know what, was nice to know her bye bye.
the guy, from your text i understand that he was aware or should be aware that you might hang out, if he didn't care or he just stupid both wrong, and i don't keep people like him as my mates.

What are you looking for with this girl ?

Just keep calm and be unaffected by this whole situation.

Just how to feel about what my friend did, we really good mates so i dont know why he did what he did. I think he's just stupid, i dont know. Thanks for your advice man! What do you reckon i should do about this matric dance that is in two weeks time that im supposed to be going with her?

Well i started having feelings for her, so i guess i was looking for a proper relationship. Thanks for the advice man, are you saying that i mustn't do anything about it and pretend it didn't happen?

Depends on what kind of person you are. Is this the kind of stuff that would bother you? Your friend was fucking a girl you're now dating? If it's going to eat at you then end it, it's not worth it... but keep in mind it would be very easy for her to turn back to your mate and fuck him which would be harder on you in my opinion... If anyone should be getting sex from her it should be you, right? So why break up with her and basically hand her over to your mate?

No need to be pissed with your bro... If he didn't know he didn't know. She knew she was seeing you and interested in you so it's on her, not him. She should have told him "no, i'm seeing a guy." Just goes to show her integrity as a woman. Then again there's a lot of people out there who would sleep around until they're official, I know plenty of men and women like this... but then again I know a lot of men and women who wouldn't so it's all up in the air.

Honestly, just forget about it. She's not fucking him now is she? She chose you. Keep that in mind.

Yeah thanks man, that makes sense. I think it will eat at me though, even though she should be mine to have sex with. Im going to end it and forget about the whole thing, my mate was a mate and i could tell he was being legit when he was apologizing so im not going to take it out on him, Thanx again!

Well, you could... or you could just treat her as a sex toy... Get the mental frame of just having her to fuck and you'll eventually stop caring plus, if it doesn't work, you'll be with her for a while at this point which will eventually kill off the chances of her and your friend hooking up again. Just a thought, you know?

ask yourself who you do it for, the dance thing? if the answer is you, go there alone or find other partner
, but definitely not with her, you got dignity, if it has no other use for you dump it.

Dignity? Dude, the chick was fucking another guy -- who happened to be his friend -- before she was with him. She didn't actually do anything wrong or disrespect him. His dignity is intact regardless of what he chooses.

yes Dignity, - recognize? Present Perfect Continuous
also it's too stupid to apologize about something that his friend did at the past, and the only thing that changed is that crazydave is dating with her, something is un-pure here, first you set up then apologize, stupid, and from crazydave's writing i think he also thinks like that, otherwise why he "doesn't want to call her by names" if past is belong to past.

Well this is confusing. I don't quite get the full picture so when exactly did they stop sleeping together? Was it before/just when you got together?(1) Or after you got together?(2) Or was it like you started seeing each other and they were still banging but once you two became official they stopped? (3)

(1) Nothing wrong here

(2) Did your friend know that you two were together? If yes then he's a prick. If no, then he's not to blame. Also, your girl is a cheating bitch regardless.

(3) Again, did your friend know that you two were seeing each other? I wouldn't bang a friend's girl even if they are just casually seeing each other, and I expect the same from my friends. And also, did she know that you are friends? Because if yes then she should have known it might not be a good idea to sleep with him while you two are seeing each other, altough this is not something I would break up for.

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