How to win over a girl who had her heart crushed?



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 4:00 am 
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There's this girl I've been talking to lately. Her last relationship that ended a couple months ago ended with the guy cheating on her. I can tell she likes me. I can also tell she is really uneasy about moving anything forward with any guy. What's the best way to go about building that trust?


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 11:23 pm 
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Well... first of all her greatest fear is that you are going to cheat on her as the ex did.


Last edited by maria_ on Thu Mar 20, 2014 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 20, 2014 3:39 am 
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Well... first of all her greatest fear is that you are going to cheat on her as the ex did.
So stay away from anything that could make her jealous and don't date other women. One way or the other she will understand that you still play the field and you are going to get labeled as "same as the ex".
Women, we have an intuition.
Anyway, let her set the pace so she trusts you but make sure you have limits. If she wants to wait for four months to have sex that's not acceptable... but if she wants to wait for 5 dates that's alright. You see my point?
A woman that has been cheated, especially at the time she is recovering from cheating, will not try to cheat on the guy she started dating. She is still bitter from cheating. So you are lucky because you have good timing. She will be loyal to you.
Expect that in the beginning she will try to test and see if you are like the ex and she will check phone, facebook etc. Let her. Better.... let her do it behind your back. Everytime she checks and she sees that you are honest she will trust you.
Please promise me that you are not going to use her for sex. It will absolutely destroy her if you are after sex only and she wants to have a boyfriend.
I won't be using her just for sex. She seems to have great gf qualities. I'd rather see it head in that direction rather than just hook up a few times and watch her leave. Thanks for the great response.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 20, 2014 10:28 am 
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Expect that in the beginning she will try to test and see if you are like the ex and she will check phone, facebook etc. Let her. Better.... let her do it behind your back. Everytime she checks and she sees that you are honest she will trust you.
Please promise me that you are not going to use her for sex. It will absolutely destroy her if you are after sex only and she wants to have a boyfriend.
Do not let her use your phone. Or look at your Facebook or anything else private that's yours.

If your words aren't enough and you're untrustworthy in her eyes, then she's being paranoid. That's an issue.

Also, using her for sex won't destroy her if you're upfront about it. Her placing expectations of a boyfriend on every swinging dick she meets, so soon after having her heart broken and without time to heal, will destroy her.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 20, 2014 6:30 pm 
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Expect that in the beginning she will try to test and see if you are like the ex and she will check phone, facebook etc. Let her. Better.... let her do it behind your back. Everytime she checks and she sees that you are honest she will trust you.
Please promise me that you are not going to use her for sex. It will absolutely destroy her if you are after sex only and she wants to have a boyfriend.
Do not let her use your phone. Or look at your Facebook or anything else private that's yours.

If your words aren't enough and you're untrustworthy in her eyes, then she's being paranoid. That's an issue.

Also, using her for sex won't destroy her if you're upfront about it. Her placing expectations of a boyfriend on every swinging dick she meets, so soon after having her heart broken and without time to heal, will destroy her.
Well this is a major mistake that lots of people do. They think that when you are imposing what you want then you build trust and you gain respect etc This is far from true.
The natural reaction of a person that has been hurt by something is to be cautious. If you were burned putting your hand into a bowl of water to put your hand again in a bowl of water you would be first checking the temperature.
If she was cheated by the ex she would be first testing the water and see if it burns.
If he is upfront and his intention is to have casual sex with her she simply won't find him interesting. The reason is that at this moment she needs someone to make her feel that is ok/safe to trust again a man. So if he offers sex she will simply decline the offer.
If on the other hand he has intentions to only have sex with her and seduces her pretending of having the intention of getting in a relationship, sooner or later she will find out. So she will get even more hurt and she will not be able to trust a man for a longer time.
I see your point that she supposed to be "healthy" and have her trust restored but the op knows already that she has a trust issue and he is aware of what he is going to face.
From my personal experience I know that it won't be permanent the trust issue she has. It will last only until they get to know each other and she knows that he will not be as the ex. She will relax afterwards and be her old self.


Last edited by maria_ on Thu Mar 20, 2014 6:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 20, 2014 6:33 pm 
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Fuck her real good and she'll trust you more.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 20, 2014 6:38 pm 
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Fuck her real good and she'll trust you more.
Hellhound! I have been following your posts for sometime.
Can I PM you? i would like your opinion/advice about a guy.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 20, 2014 6:40 pm 
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Fuck her real good and she'll trust you more.
Hellhound! I have been following your posts for sometime.
Can I PM you? i would like your opinion/advice about a guy.
Sure. : )

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Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 6:59 pm 
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If he is upfront and his intention is to have casual sex with her she simply won't find him interesting. The reason is that at this moment she needs someone to make her feel that is ok/safe to trust again a man. So if he offers sex she will simply decline the offer.
What?

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 7:51 pm 
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The phrase "win over" should be banned, because it shows you see her as a prize to be won. You are putting her on a pedestal. You don't feel worthy of her just being the way you are.

The mistake most guys make here is they try to be like the knight in shining armour, ready to save the 'damsel in distress'. She plays up to this and loves the attention. You get sucked in by her soap opera life drama and before you know it, you are her emotional tampon, but you have simply become a shoulder to cry on without even realising it. The light at the end of your tunnel is the pot of gold shining from her rainbow vagina. The tampon inevitably becomes saturated with emotional womb lining and once you have nursed her back to emotional equilibrium, the promised rainbow vagina will quickly turn into a shower of hugs, thank you's and "we are so close" speeches. Then she will fuck the first asshole who chats her up at the bar.

Women who have been hurt and are very vocal about it when you first meet them are immature and emotionally fucked in the head. They're not ready for a relationship. They could well be looking for a rebound fuck. You haven't even fucked her yet, why is cheating even a conversation you are having??

She doesn't want reassurance that you won't cheat on her. She actually wants reassurance that you can provide her with the same drama and rollercoaster of high / low emotions that her asshole ex-boyfriend did.

Damaged women with low self esteem will only fuck men who share the same opinion of them. This is why they often go for assholes who treat them like shit. I am the same. I know I'm awesome so I only go for girls who believe I'm awesome. Guys on here who post about their fucked up relationships on the other hand, are masochists. They enjoy the pain, in a self-harm 'KoRn lyrics' kind of way. So they go for powerful women / dominant divas because the pressure of leading a relationship is too much to handle.

So, to sum up, fuck her first before you make any decisions about relationships and fidelity. She needs to know who's boss. Or rather who is the master and who is the slave.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 9:01 pm 
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The phrase "win over" should be banned, because it shows you see her as a prize to be won. You are putting her on a pedestal. You don't feel worthy of her just being the way you are.

The mistake most guys make here is they try to be like the knight in shining armour, ready to save the 'damsel in distress'. She plays up to this and loves the attention. You get sucked in by her soap opera life drama and before you know it, you are her emotional tampon, but you have simply become a shoulder to cry on without even realising it. The light at the end of your tunnel is the pot of gold shining from her rainbow vagina. The tampon inevitably becomes saturated with emotional womb lining and once you have nursed her back to emotional equilibrium, the promised rainbow vagina will quickly turn into a shower of hugs, thank you's and "we are so close" speeches. Then she will fuck the first asshole who chats her up at the bar.

Women who have been hurt and are very vocal about it when you first meet them are immature and emotionally fucked in the head. They're not ready for a relationship. They could well be looking for a rebound fuck. You haven't even fucked her yet, why is cheating even a conversation you are having??

She doesn't want reassurance that you won't cheat on her. She actually wants reassurance that you can provide her with the same drama and rollercoaster of high / low emotions that her asshole ex-boyfriend did.

Damaged women with low self esteem will only fuck men who share the same opinion of them. This is why they often go for assholes who treat them like shit. I am the same. I know I'm awesome so I only go for girls who believe I'm awesome. Guys on here who post about their fucked up relationships on the other hand, are masochists. They enjoy the pain, in a self-harm 'KoRn lyrics' kind of way. So they go for powerful women / dominant divas because the pressure of leading a relationship is too much to handle.

So, to sum up, fuck her first before you make any decisions about relationships and fidelity. She needs to know who's boss. Or rather who is the master and who is the slave.

The part about rainbow vaginas had me rolling. That shit was hilarious. I actually agree with a lot of this. I'm never the tampon padding type of man. I sleep with a good number of women, but have very few females as friends. The reason is that I never get friend zoned. It either progresses or we stop seeing each other. I'm naturally a leader. I own my own company. I have employees. I make executive decisions all day. Everywhere I go people that don't know me call me boss and sir. Everyone tells me I just have this presence about me that commands respect and control.

I agree with her most likely wanting the same level of drama. Human beings are consistent. There's a reason why that one girl everyone knows gets into abusive relationship after abusive relationship. People are drawn to what's comfortable, even if their comfort is insanity.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 11:30 pm 
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Women who have been hurt and are very vocal about it when you first meet them are immature and emotionally fucked in the head. They're not ready for a relationship. They could well be looking for a rebound fuck. You haven't even fucked her yet, why is cheating even a conversation you are having??

She doesn't want reassurance that you won't cheat on her. She actually wants reassurance that you can provide her with the same drama and rollercoaster of high / low emotions that her asshole ex-boyfriend did.
And in that moment...you became my favorite poster on this site. A dubious honor, for sure, like being the world's tallest midget, but it is an honor.

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