Hey guys,

Here's a tough one.

I've been with a girl for almost 8 years (with some breakups and returns), I was her first boyfriend and we spent a lot together.

Last year she went to study in Germany and we decided to live an open relationship... bad idea. She started to talk about the guys she met in Germany, and I started to do the same about the girls in Brazil (my country). That's when I started to practice the game and know more about it. But we couldn't wait to be together again.

The problem is: when I told her about a hot girl with who I did a cold approach and resulted in a car sex, she lost her mind and broke-up with me. She told me about the guys she was with and even about sex with them, but she couldn't bear this coming from me. She said that she would like to be my girlfriend again, in Germany, and kept saying she loved me.

We kept in touch by internet, SPAM and whatever, and the care, the sweet things, and even love was all around. Even the break-up was not a fight.

Now I'm in Germany to study too, the same city, and we spent the first days together, like friends but with a lot of sweetness and stuffs. Then, when I went to her room and tried to hug her at her bed, she moved away. And then I asked if she was seeing another person, and she said she's in a relationship with a guy here.

She said she loves me, she cried a lot, said our story wouldn't end now and she wouldn't be out of my life. But she don't want to break up with the german guy, because in a 'different way' she likes him, even if as she said it's not a passion.

I got overwhelmed, guys. I love this girl, but I hate this situation. We both have 5 months here in Germany and she said her relationship with the german guy wouldn't last after that. But it's hard to bear it, because she said she wants to do things with me like traveling together, dance lessons, bike riding and a lot of things. I told her I'm not so sure if I want to do these things with her, cause I don't want her to feel "in control". but I want those thing too!

So what do you guys think I should do?
I want this girl again.

In Brazil I got some nice chicks using the game, I even have a nice ice breaker because I practice magic and know some illusionism tricks that grants me nice openings, but I don't know if being with other girls here would attract my ex-girlfriend or push her away.

And I don't know if I should demonstrate interest in her or just ignore her.
That's a harsh situation, because I cried in front of her, she did it too, she keeps in touch, we talk everyday, we saw each other everyday that I was in German (this is my 6th day here) and woah...damn...

That's why I wrote you guys, think I need some piece of advice.

Thanks! (:

Too much baggage on both sides to make it work. Also, she's doing someone else and wants to keep you around as an orbiter or as a backup plan. Don't allow that, save your dignity.
Drop her, find somebody else. Someone hotter. I guarantee there are plenty of hotter chicks all around you.

I changed this answer.

I agree with fugs from my experience in the long run. The probability seems like more than 95% change that this has no future. from my experience, once it is over it is over in almost all cases. Especially when you are young, not like 30 years or so.

But I guess beeing younger also means you have to do what would be considered "mistakes" by older guy like me and do this to grow.

Act on your feelings. If she says she loves you and you love her, why not. Tell her you love her. Honestly, in your situation I would do exactly that. If everything is as it sounds with all the crying you are a never nerve wrack either way. If it works then a few happy months or maybe a year and the end drama starts again. Or she crushes your heart, but then it is a lot easier to move on.

No matter how hard it is.
There is this line from a German song: "die zeit heilt alle wunden schon nach wenigen jahren"
(English: time heals all wounds even so after only some years; from wir sind helden, Die Zeit Heilt Alle Wunden)

It hurts but as time pass by you will stop thinking about her in a few years after the breakup, whenever that is and however long it takes you.

OK, thats a tricky one. fugs is right about the baggage.

I know it is hard after 8 year relationship, but try offering her FWB to start with and see it how it goes from there

Thanks guys, I think I'll try to get some distance.
She can't bear being distant from me, even when I was in Brazil I got messages EVERY day via SPAM. And she's doing the same here.

Yesterday I got a successful cold approach to a Bulgarian girl, took her to Sushi, she was an 8/9.
I felt down even being with that girl but I think I should work it and try to forget.

It's harsh to be a player when you got these stupid (but intense) feelings, but if I learnt something from the game is to always adapt, evolve and become better.

Don't know what's gonna be, but I appreciate your responses and I can eventually update this thread, so I'd really appreciate some new opinions.

Danke/Obrigado/Thanks!

Youre doing fine. If she is seeing another man, then it's a green light for you to see other girls and do not let her make you feel bad. Be civil but distance yourself and focus on that Bulgarian hottie and get some other girls too.