Hey guys,

There's this girl I've known for a few months on campus and I've developed something of a complicated relationship with. We had sexual contact early on but I was inexperienced (still am) and couldn't do anything (read - couldn't get an erection). Anyway, she has a long-term boyfriend which I feel especially guilty about since I've met the guy but at the same time he seems a bit arrogant/douchey and I suspect she's a bit fed up of him. But at the same time she's kind of funny herself and I've seen her get off with girls in night clubs, maybe guys as well, I don't know. Anyway, I find her really quite attractive, especially when she dresses up, she has the same kind of hipster mentality I do and I've been very emotionally attached to her but it's wearing off.

I find she's more into me when I'm more casual, less emotionally attached than times that I'm feeling a little more needy. We've also got a funny thing going on where although we're friends, we don't talk about our feelings/mention the elephant in the room, we only ever make small talk. That said, she has told me I'm really sensitive which I personally think is a plus but she was implying that I'm overly-sensitive. She's also made moves on me (on nights out) before but I've resisted (and kind of regretted) because such and such was wrong, or I didn't want to get too emotionally attached if all she wants is a casual fling, or I was flirting with some other girl elsewhere, or I felt guilty because I know she's with another guy who also happens to be a little bit stockier than I am. At one point I was even wondering if she just felt sorry for me.

I know that if we go on another night out I have a chance, but in short there are too many complications and I've rejected some fine looking ladies because of my emotional attachment - what if she's fed up of having to deal with my insecurities. What if I keep trying to no avail, hurt my own ego and reject more girls on the way? I've learnt so much about women lately, but I'm fed up of being a virgin and I don't want to keep playing dumb games when it's not so difficult anymore for me to just get laid. On the other hand, I'm certain that part of the reason some girls find me attractive is because of my unavailability, so it's a tricky situation...

Any advice much appreciated.

Just try and sleep with her is my advice

I seriously regret not just nailing those hot girls who I am still friendzoned with.

If you feel you have a chance, you are right in my experience.

The situation to which going with is rare but exists with few guys.

The girls generally don't approach themselves easily to a guy and it's guy duty to approach a girl for moving forward in relationship. Here, in your case, you are shy of doing anything that is not good. The girl may leave you soon if you ignore her desires like this.

So, listen to emotions of girl (get to know before she tells) and act. Do whatever she wants and enjoy.