Hi everyone,

I'm feeling really down about this HB7.5 I'm seeing (or was seeing, read the post and let me know) who I'm not sure what to label but the closest thing is a casual relationship I guess.

We meet two weeks ago (on an online dating site) and met for a drink. From the first moment we met we hit it off big time. It was a fun night and we get along really well. Two days later we met for drinks and before I knew it we were in the sack. The sex was great.

I got the idea she is a confused girl who is trying to figure things out (she also sees a therapist). Last year she was heart broken after ending a year relationship with a Brazilian dude (she was DUMPED bad!) . She ended up chasing him to Brazil and desperately tried to win him back. She moved there for three months trying to win him back. During that period he had moved in with a new girl and was sleeping with both of them. At the end he told her he was in love with the other girl and she was really hurt. Shortly after she went out with a new guy in Brazil (whom she said she didn't love) for a few weeks and moved to London (where I met her).

After a month the new guy she broke up went to visit her for a few weeks in London and then they broke it off.

For the next few months she was settling in London and we met. As mentioned earlier by the second date we were having sex (great sex!). She said she never been with a guy with my physique (I'm quite built and athletic. I go to the gym a lot). She said she loved it and the sex. She also said I'm great looking.

The next few days we pretty much saw each other every day. I would see her after work and spend the night at her place and of course we would fuck. We also have morning sex each time.

After around 10 days while we are having dinner she tells me that the Brazilian dude she broke it off with (not the one she loved and broke her heart...the other dude) is coming to visit her in March. She said he called her recently and wanted to visit and try to rekindle their relationship and she agreed.

I was very upset. I told her "where does that leave me?". Because this happened WHILE we are seeing each other or fucking each other. She said she didn't think about us, it all happened very fast. She didn't plan it. Despite that we still went back to her place and slept together. And also had sex in the morning.

Then in the morning she said the most she can offer me is a no commitment relationship.

I am feeling very down about it. I don't know why. I fell for this girl fast. So I call her later in the after noon and she tells me she is having a stressful day at work. I ask her if I can meet her after work and she says she is meeting a friend. i said if I can meet her later...she doesn't seem she wants to and I say please and she says okay.

She calls me later at night to tell me if I wanted to come over after she sees her friend and I said no. I feel better. I had a stressful day but don't worry about it have fun with your friend (I think that surprised her). She said she will see me the next day.

We see each other the next day and go to dinner and drinks with her friends. And then as usual back to her place, have sex and I spend the night.

Friday was Valetines day and I call her up in the evening. She says she is having an anti-valentines party at her place, I said I also hate Valetines day. I ask if I can come and she said sure, whenever I want.

I call her at around 11 and she didn't pick up but sends a text "Babe...I'm falling asleep...can we see each other another night?"

I say "Sure babe...good night".

Around 1 am I am wasted with my friends at an awesome party and text her "Wow I'm at a crazy party!"...I get no response.

The next day I call her around 7 and she picks up. She said perfect time he just got home. She told me she is having her period and bleeding a lot so we can't have sex. I tell her I know what periods are. She told me that at 11 she was tired when I called, but at 11:30 her friend called her and make her get up and her friends came and they partied at her place (the party I was supposedly invited to). Instead of being upset (I was I just hid it from her) I told her well I'm glad you also had a fun night. She also asked me about my part and said she got my text.

I then ask her if she wanted to hang out, she said yes but again she has her period. She said she would be up for going to the movies. Now she was sounding tired and said she has to work early in the morning and I felt she was doing it as favor to go the movies. She says I can't do anything with you because in the mood I'm in I'll bite. I tell her well we don't two people bleeding.

Anyway, I'm not feeling great (upset in the inside but hiding it well on the phone) and can tell she is not feeling great, so I tell her "You know what, get some rest and let us see each other when you recovered". She said call. Maybe I will call you tomorrow after work. I said great let's touch base tomorrow.

The next day she doesn't call. Neither do I.

I write this the following day coming to a close. She doesn't call or text. Neither do I.

Nearly four days have now passed with no contact. March is coming up.

I want to point in the two-weeks we saw each other each time I initiate contact either by text or call. She never does. Now she always responds and picks up the phone and agrees to meet me and we end up sleeping together at her place but NOT ONCE did she call me or contact me or just ask how I'm doing.

I'm falling for this girl.

Should I call her or wait for her to call? Do you think she will even call?

What is going on here?

Anyway I can get with her?

Would really appreciate your help!

You are in the ideal position now. This why you really got into pickup. To date multiple women and fuck them. You can be that guy, the player, the guy girls cheat on their boyfriends with.

If you're not interested in fucking more than one woman, what are you doing on a pickup forum? This girl is offering you free sex no strings attached, and you're unhappy about it? Really?

Good point lol! And that is why I did get on this forum to become a PUA!

But how do I get her back? She hasn't been in touch the last four days. Given what happened I was wondering if I should keep distant for a while?

I have one caveat, being a PUA doesn't mean you have to pickup girls that have boyfriends already. I true PUA leaves no man or woman harmed. example: only a master can complete Metal Gear Solid without making a single kill!!

Be a master.

_________________
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

The way I look at it is I'm not the one cheating, she is. I also think I'm doing the guy a favour in the long run, either because guys like me give the girl her "fix" of manliness, so she can go back to him for comfort, or because he finds out about her cheating sooner rather than later, dumps her ass and finds a woman who will respect him and change the things about himself which led to her cheating.

This girl is telling you she still wants to fuck you but wants you to fuck other women too. Do you know what a fuck buddy is? That's what this girl wants. So you have 2 options:

1) Cry about it like a little girl and cling onto her for dear life because no other woman will ever find you attractive.

2) Hit the club and bring other girls back to her apartment for threesomes.

Grow a pair dude, seriously.

I see an unspoken assumption within the PUA community that if a girl cheats, it's the guy's fault. This may often be true, but there are many girls out there who are simply bad seeds, or, may cheat just because a guy is a bit different / better looking.

There's only so much we can control, and I think that getting better at PU can create the illusion within us that we are in control of, and responsible for, everything a girl does (after all we men are always trying to be masters of the universe).

In my experience, cheating leads to pain for most parties.. I'm doing my best to get laid without the burden of guilt. I also think we need to accept that we can guide our experiences with women, but we are not responsible for their actions. They, as adults, are responsible for their own actions.

But that's just my 2c worth, and I'm open to contrasting ideas

_________________
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

If what you are doing right now is not working ... then do the opposite. All I see you are doing is pull, pull, pull ... you must push her away and create drama.

If you review her past relationships ... they are guys who causes drama and treat her like shit. But, the underlying idea behind her attraction to those guys is that those guys provide a wide range of emotions. Those guys treated her like shit but also provide the fantasy of maybe she is the girl that could change them.

The basics of expressing a wide range of emotions:
1) Say what you like.
2) Say what you hate.
3) Acknowledge what is cool.
4 Acknowledge what is shit.

Letting her scott free when she does something to hurt you is a no no ... she is purposely doing it so that you can man up and punish her ...

This is the type of girl that will give u shit test so that you can punish them and dominate them ... Proof of this is that she likes your muscular/big physique ... this demonstrates dominance over her!

What is her nationality? I'm assuming she is tan skinned, either brazillian, mexican, spanish ...

So what you need to do now is push her away!
Something along these lines ...
"Just fucking leave town! We are fucking done! I thought you were real ... but you are fake! Pack your shit and leave town!" .... then after you have destroyed her ... "I'm sorry I made you cry ... I was caught in the moment ..." blah blah blah and make up ....

- To further increase her attraction for you is to game other girls ... you are in oneitis mode ... the reason why she is attracted to the two other guys before you is because they are willing to leave her. If you game other girls and have other girls in your life ... she will see/smell/sense that you have other girls in your life and that you can leave her at anytime ... this will make you chase you all for her self O_O!

Have fun ^_^,

Donston

Interesting post, but I tried these two dramatic poles with my ex and got pretty messed up myself in the process. For me it wasn't worth it. Essentially you're sacrificing your own equanimity to provide enough drama to keep a girl in your life.. For me that's a failure, as you're altering who you are, and losing your peace of mind. No girl is worth it in my opinion.

A stronger angle, for me.. just my opinion here... is to just be strong and live in your own calm peaceful reality. Don't react to her, don't allow your mind to become dramatised for her sake. None reactivity is a sign of strength-of-mind, the most attractive form of strength there is!

_________________
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

Ya I know ... I can't be an ass hole neither! It's very incongruent with my personality ... but you can still do these

The basics of expressing a wide range of emotions:
1) Say what you like.
- I love Detriot Red wings.
2) Say what you hate.
- I fucking hate pickles!
- Or spontaneously yell out horse shit!
3) Acknowledge what is cool.
- I acknowledge that I am cool ...
4 Acknowledge what is shit.
- If someone crosses the line lay justice on them.

Being negative/positive doesn't have to be directed at her ... she just has to be around it ^_^!

and not come out as an ass hole. But, you still need to lay the smack down on a girl who crosses your line. If a girl or anybody does something that crosses the line (aka disrespects you)... you shouldn't let them get away with it. You must stand up for yourself and tell them that they crossed the line! Don't let people push you down or use you! It's up to you to become a man who can direct a girl out of her chaotic emotions!

Unfortunately ... it's up to that guy to follow my instructions ^_^. I love girls with attitude and emotionally chaotic ... they are exciting and adventures ... I love laying the smack down on their candy asses ^_^! It's all a matter of preference/fetishes :p ...

Sincerely,

Donston

That's some funny shit. Ok, I have to agree that when I girl crosses the line she needs to be straightened out. It's good for them and good for you if it's handled properly.

When they're trying to get a reaction, I find it's best to remain at peace.. heart rate 60bpm, and even laugh at them like they're your dumb little sister. Then they are arguing with themselves and look like a goof. With my ex, she was storming out of my apartment and I just said "you realise you look like an angry little school kid right now" and she burst out laughing because I called it. But then I threw her out because she had truly crossed the line earlier.

_________________
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

That's all great guys thanks! Now I am thinking what can I do now? It has been 4 days and she hasn't been in touch neither have I. I've been keeping away hoping it will increase my value but apparently not yet. Do I need to wait longer or get in touch?

You need go no contact and hit the clubs. Fuck other women and leave the poor girl alone. She's trying to fuck another dude, so you shouldn't be interfering.

Agreed. Leave her alone for a few months, genuinely forget about her, and re-connect in summer. She'll wonder where you've been.

_________________
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

This one simple statement says it all, it should be copied and posted all over this forum.

It should be the #1 fucking rule.

Good job Hunter!!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.