Sex gone bad



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 Post subject: Sex gone bad
PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 2:51 pm 
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I started having sex related issue with my girlfriend since a week ago. She used to love giving me blowjobs, swallowing, letting me cum on her etc you get the point. Problem is that she suddenly doesn't want to do it anymore. There were a few days in which we had a ton of fights each day and almost broke up. In each of those days we ended up having sex, it was just for one time per day but it was still rough fucking minus my dick in her mouth which becomes frustrating. I had her orgasm her brains out from oral but she doesn't want to return the favor. I'm fine if it's temporary because i like doing it but i want the seemingly lifetime supply of blowjobs back. The night before we started fighting she sucked me off like my dick was the fountain of youth.
She lost a big part of her sex drive since those days, meaning that we used to fuck for hours straight like bunnies, until she was too sore and now we just do it once per night when we see each other.

One night i was fucking her and pulled out to cum on her and she was like "no, i don't want to.." and started crying.
Last night i was initiating some drity texting and she didn't seem to get into it. I jokingly told her about "steak and blowjob day" (14 march, google it) and she said something along the lines of "you had your fair share :lol: no more". I still pushed it a bit with the dirty talking, and then this shit:
Quote:
her: "why are you so obsessed with me?"
i told her that's rude and i guess it's time for me to walk away then (i let her anxious about what i meant)"
her: "whaaaat?" "hey stay here" "what are you doing?"
me: "not in that sense"
her: "but? :( which?"
Finally i answered back after about 15 minutes, minutes in which she sent me a thousand and one texts begging me to talk to her and apologizing that she pissed me off. Then this:
Quote:
her: "what did you mean?"
me: "you just said i'm obsessed :lol: what do you think i would want to do then? :lol:
her: "not walk away, obviously" "stay with me <3" "you're too serious :( "
me: "not from the conversation"
her: "but? from my life? even worse"
me: "let me put that into words"
her: "do that"
point at which i derailed it
me: "what did you mean by obsessed? and i didn't get pissed off i just told you that i found that to be rude"
her: "you talk only about sex, oral, and sex again. that's what i meant. it's a little too much"
her: "ONLY"
her: "I find that rude too"
me: "dunno what to say"
her: "I am upset now.."
me: "It didn't seem too rude to me to talk like that to the girl i'm in a relationship with..but correct me if i'm wrong" "Sex is human that's just it i like it like everyone else"
her: "it seems like there is just sex, and that's it. nothing else"
me: "I apologize then :P i'm on alot of test damnit" - test means testosterone. exogenous. bottom line is i have the sex drive of a horny bull
her: "Sorry.."
her: "I'm a villain" - fuck translations, something like "i'm an asshole.."
me: "And although i don't blame it all on it you know i'm a horny bastard with a beard in general :D "
her: "I know I know :< I wish I could be part of the sex conversation but I don't really feel like it :( that's the point. I'm tired"
me: "Alriiiight :D " "you playing lol later?" - some computer game we both like
her: "No waaay. I'm dead :-< i'm sleepy and i only want to watch some episodes"
her: "Love ya <3"
me: "I love you too <3"
this was on facebook chat



I had previously initiated some mild dirty texting that day in which she replied bullshit like " :oops: <3 pleases stop" - she was playing some sort of computer game during that time from what i know lol.

I'm thinking it's either the fights or the birth control pills, although she never had such issues from them, except once when she did not want to fuck but her sex drive was 1000% back after a few hours after she took a shower.
How does one go about this? I'd like not to get rid of before attempting to fix this.
Thanks for reading guys.


I will add details to this post as soon as i can. Right now i have to go out.

Note: she used to have a ridiculously high sex drive right before this, even for me who i want to have sex non stop.


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 Post subject: Re: Sex gone bad
PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 9:33 pm 
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birth control pills may get her fat and loose her sex drive


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 Post subject: Re: Sex gone bad
PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 11:20 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:17 am
Posts: 116
clingy-girlfriend-but-lack-of-interest- ... 63701.html
this was partially discussed before, so you may want to look there.

Well this can be many things.

1. She is less into sex than you. The difference between your sexual need and her is becoming a kind of pressure towards her and she just started showing that now. Maybe your honeymoon phase is over? How long you have been in relationship?
2. Maybe even though your sex is/used to be awesome, you try too hard to do anything to give her pleasure -- i mean she feels like you are always there for her so she can control you?
3. Maybe it is as she indicated in her chat, that you do not supply anything to the relationship apart from sex?
4. Ok it can also be physical. I do not believe that birth control affects her need so much - i think other factors are way more important. Yes, they do change hormones but I am a firm believer that there are many other physical things (diseases, disorders) that affect her hormones waaaay more than pills do.
5. Outside of bed things, relationship in general:
5a. Have you maybe moved in together recently? Have you started spending days and nights at her place?
5b. Have you recently got a little clingy towards her due to e.g. great bj's and you started to feel that you would even marry her because she is so effin' great at sex? (or sth like that, you get the idea)
5c. She got bored of wild sex and she wants more romantic approach to that like making love etc
5d. Sometimes you do not have anything to do while spending time together?


I know this does not make your issue easier; i am just pointing out some different perspectives to look into the problem ;-)

good luck. I have been fighting the same for a very long time and you two are nowhere as bad as me and my gf are.. but i may or might not post my thread somewhere else sometime :)


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 Post subject: Re: Sex gone bad
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 8:39 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2014 2:04 pm
Posts: 9
Quote:
clingy-girlfriend-but-lack-of-interest- ... 63701.html
this was partially discussed before, so you may want to look there.

Well this can be many things.

1. She is less into sex than you. The difference between your sexual need and her is becoming a kind of pressure towards her and she just started showing that now. Maybe your honeymoon phase is over? How long you have been in relationship?
2. Maybe even though your sex is/used to be awesome, you try too hard to do anything to give her pleasure -- i mean she feels like you are always there for her so she can control you?
3. Maybe it is as she indicated in her chat, that you do not supply anything to the relationship apart from sex?
4. Ok it can also be physical. I do not believe that birth control affects her need so much - i think other factors are way more important. Yes, they do change hormones but I am a firm believer that there are many other physical things (diseases, disorders) that affect her hormones waaaay more than pills do.
5. Outside of bed things, relationship in general:
5a. Have you maybe moved in together recently? Have you started spending days and nights at her place?
5b. Have you recently got a little clingy towards her due to e.g. great bj's and you started to feel that you would even marry her because she is so effin' great at sex? (or sth like that, you get the idea)
5c. She got bored of wild sex and she wants more romantic approach to that like making love etc
5d. Sometimes you do not have anything to do while spending time together?


I know this does not make your issue easier; i am just pointing out some different perspectives to look into the problem ;-)

good luck. I have been fighting the same for a very long time and you two are nowhere as bad as me and my gf are.. but i may or might not post my thread somewhere else sometime :)
bold=what i think i'm guilty for right now. we men like to put things into categories and make it easier to understand and that's what you're doing now my man :)
5c might probably be there too

So for now, i'll try to:
a) do a little bit less and on top of that tease her a little bit more (not only in bed) to relieve pressure
b) stop being clingy because i wasn't like that in the beginning to be honest. i saw her acting all sweet and after a big while it started to mellow me. need to reverse that asap
c) more slow, romantic love making (although she says i'm like that outside of bed i'll be like that in there too)
d) do shit with her outside of bed too. in the last 2 weeks we spent more time indoors than outdoors half of the time sleeping, the other time fighting, watching movies and fucking
The birth control pills might be guilty for that too although they've never been for the last 2-3 years. We've been together for 3 months

What do you guys think?

I had a little talk with her on fb about this and she said we didn't have so much sex lately due to her being sore down there (i remember her being in alot of pain after. it adds up from alot of fucking and from alot of oral, saliva etc etc and some lube i think she reacts bad too so she might have had to heal up). And about the blowjobs she said she doesn't like doing it now because she did that alot in the beginning.


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 Post subject: Re: Sex gone bad
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 2:14 pm 
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Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2013 7:41 am
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Quote:
birth control pills may get her fat and loose her sex drive


Damn

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 Post subject: Re: Sex gone bad
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:18 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:17 am
Posts: 116
ok, bustinuts, seems we are getting this sorted out as those are most likely the reasons that you mentioned..
Quote:
a) do a little bit less and on top of that tease her a little bit more (not only in bed) to relieve pressure
b) stop being clingy because i wasn't like that in the beginning to be honest. i saw her acting all sweet and after a big while it started to mellow me. need to reverse that asap
c) more slow, romantic love making (although she says i'm like that outside of bed i'll be like that in there too)
d) do shit with her outside of bed too. in the last 2 weeks we spent more time indoors than outdoors half of the time sleeping, the other time fighting, watching movies and fucking
The birth control pills might be guilty for that too although they've never been for the last 2-3 years. We've been together for 3 months
regarding a) yes that sounds fine but please don't make a dramatic change
b) yes and be really careful with that from now on
c) well if it is what she wants then yes. communicate about this with her
d) please change your activities asap as she will get very bored soon

now the important thing: 3 months together. damn man i can't stress enough how important it is to handle this properly.. well it is difficult to explain but the thing is as you can understand yourself that your honeymoon phase is over, so this is the stage where rules will be laid down. you can't fail here. do not show to her that you will do anything for sex and so on. Fuck her, respect her, but know and communicate your boundaries. Things might get tricky at this point, but it is your responsibility to make sure they do not go sour. Do not spend the whole of your free time with her. Try to be a challenge for her, and see what her reaction is. If she is missing you and getting horny, its good. If she is mad at you.. well.. it is not so good -- maybe she's not a relationship material?? :) you know the drill. you have to make her want you throughout the whole relationship.

but again remember this is an advice from somebody who did have proper sex (excl. blowjobs) with his girlfriend maybe 4 times since new year so i am far from being an expert (and no this is not LDR). I am posting this so you do not end up in my situation. best of luck mate


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