What up guys! I am in a somewhat confusing relationship if you can even call it that lol so was thinking maybe you guys can help me decide action to take. I will try to explain situation in detail and then you guys ask me questions if anything is missing.

Met girl online on an online dating site, exchanged few emails, got her # , set up coffee date.

Date 1-2 she seemed really cold and different from how other girls are with me, but I know she likes me.

date 3 we danced so started feeling chemistry and decided I will kiss her today and if she resists then I am done. She didn't resist and everything was great. over all she seems to be playing hard to get or is naturally just not affectionate. Her excuse is that shes not like other girls and we barely know each other. which I can understand to a point. as far as public affection she says shes cool with it but with her boyfriend not someone she is dating.

Ok in 2 months time we have been out 8 times, had exclusive talk I think on the 5th date and we both agreed we aren't seeing anyone else till one of us says we want to. I brought up the talk which I kinda think I fucked up because usually its the girl that asks the (so what are we question) to me lol.

I made my profile hidden but didn't delete yet as I don't know what the future holds, but if we are exclusive you would think both parties should get off the site right ? She is still on the website and when I called her on it... shes like it doesn't mean anything its she payed 3 months in advance and she doesn't know if we will last. she said just let it go basically. so since I don't trust her im like fuck it im going to test her, I had an attractive guy friend message her and try to get her number etc.

she hasn't givin her number but she was talking to him, but she told me she isn't seeing or talking to anyone on and off the website, so she lied basically but I don't want to call her on it and figured its better if she doesn't know. but I definitely don't trust her and have been close to ending it several times.

I am 33 and she is 35 and we both want a serious relationship, hopefully with kids and everything.

Also we haven't had sex, mostly kissing and some touching which she stops and says ok we should stop etc. She says supposably she does the more intimate things with an actually boyfriend but we are just dating.

So the question is: Should she be on the website for any reason while we are supposed to be exclusively dating ??

Should I dump her for this reason or see what happens after another month and if things go well bring up the boyfriend/girlfriend talk and if she doesn't get off the site then dump her ?

Whats a good way of knowing if she is really a good girl or a hoe pretending to be because she wants to get married now ? Thanks ahead of time guys, I know its a long read.

She's using the website for attention from men. Every woman needs this sort of sexual validation. Here are some signs that she's actually cool:

1. She brings her own drugs to share.
2. She pays for the first round of drinks, and insists on alternating after that.
3. She never mentions ex-boyfriends or family problems on dates.
4. If you ask her about an ex, she’ll say you don’t want to hear about it, and mean it.
5. She genuinely surprises you with unexpected gifts, because she remembers that time you did something for her.

You're in an interesting position. Women at that age require quite a bit more actual game than do younger women. Neg and keno away! However, it might be worth throwing in the towel if you two haven't had sex yet. She might be stringing you along.

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

I honestly haven't been exclusive for a while and when I did I certainly had sex before the big "what are we doing" talk. IF your exclusive you should be sexually intimate, if not whats the point? It sounds like you need to man up and make a move. Trust me on this the longer you wait the harder it will be to do. Just plan a date where she is over to your place and work your magic. If she isn't into it then I would say you are just someone to pass the time with for her. GL

you brought up exclusive on date 5 without banging her yet ??? bad move

and after 8 dates in 2 months you still havent ??

do you wait another month without nothing or find out she isnt any good in bed ?

not my idea of fun

Thx guys for all the info but I need to explain a few things.

1.We are more old fashioned when It comes to serious relationships. I mean times have changed and we talked that its upto the couple if they want to have sex before marriage and we both agree that it definetly needs to happen before marriage. I think personally sex should happen before becoming boyfriend girlfriend or exclusive even like you guys said.

2. Other problem is she is the care taker for her mother and lives with her, so I cant go to her place and try and moves lol.

3. My place isn't the greatest because I live with parents but I am in the back house(alone but in the same household, by the pool), she doesn't want to meet parents yet so even if she agrees to come to my room, my parents will think she is a bad girl and that's not what we want. so yea its a fucked up situation.

4. If you guys wondering its not about me manning up, I have fucked girls the first night or had 1 night stands. I think the problem is she really wants to hold out to see if I am the right guy or its cause we have no place to really escalate. Also with other girls they come to my place or I go to theres. On a cruise I went too I had my own room and its so easy to take a girl from the club to your place to fuck. but this isn't about sex really , even though you gotta have sex in any relationship and ofcourse I want too lol.

5. sometimes I really hate this bullshit old fashioned way of trying to live with parents atleast till you are married, I could of got laid so much if I had my actual own place away from parents.

anyways thx again guys and let me know what you guys think is the best thing to do, I mean I can get a motel room for the first time sex with her but I don't wanna make it obvious we going to have sex. you know how girls are lol they want it to feel like its the right time, place, romantic, and all the fairy tail bull shit.

in that case a weekend away or a stay in the city for the night see a show etc etc